Reality

How much can one get done,
When he has nothing to do?
I'll tell you, I have too much time on my hands,
So I'm going to find out soon.

And if nothing comes of it, what will my move,
Be but to beat myself down into a pulp?
My inclination is to have something to show,
And, further more, to do it without help.

And this whole thing about not using reality,
When describing what it is I want,
Can go screw itself. How can I describe anything,
Outside the realm of what I know? I know not.

And it's alright,
Some people think in terms of flowers.
I think in terms of relations, okay?
It's my reality and all that has power.

Justice

What world are we living in?
And by 'we', I mean everyone.
Surely there is something that we can all point to,
Even if it's that we're all human.

I have been raised to believe violence is wrong,
Though there is violence everywhere that I look.
At least when I look at the news.
Violence so intense the world should have shook.

And here I sit, not unconcerned for my safety,
For I still lock my doors at night.
And often times I'll not confront an injustice,
Because I'd rather not confront a fight.

And it's alright,
I'm just saving myself for the right time.
I know injustice needs to be fought eventually.
Until then, I can imagine everything's just fine

Returning

I find it so cold now,
I wonder if I'm still in the world,
Or if I've found myself in the outskirts,
Where are the unemployed and unnurtured.

A quick twist of thought can sky rocket you all,
Into netherworlds that you once looked upon,
As someplace someone else goes who's weak in the mind,
But it's a possibility for every human.

True strength lies not in avoiding these pitfalls.
Such journeys help to expand your understanding,
As long as you can find your way back to the place,
Where nothing's necessarily as it need be.

And it's alright,
If you never return after all.
Unlike the unemployed and the unnurtured,
The government will- wait, they'll also let you fall.

Covetousness

Here they come again,
Those feelings of inadequacy,
Felt by, I'm sure, everyone in the world,
Unless they have lots of money.

Oh yes, it can buy happiness, I'm not joking,
The human condition is not such,
That even when you can get anything you want,
You still have to think that life sucks.

The need to create angst when there is no reason,
Granted, is a privilege reserved for us,
The poor are given it, the rich choose to take it,
And so the divide between the haves and have-nots.

And it's alright,
If I end up with lots of money,
I'm sure I'll bring chaos down upon myself.
My way of maintaining equality.

Losing Weight

They say that you should enjoy,
The sleep while it lasts.
I have to say, since I have nothing else,
The experience really kicks ass.

What better way to see where it is you are,
Than to step out of it and look in from without?
Just give me time to adjust to where I am,
And I will really know what it is all about.

And thank this Socialist bent that exists in Canada,
That allows me to take off all this time.
Socialism by itself may not be the answer,
But in relation to Capitalism, it's fine.

And it's alright,
My baby's going to stop crying at anytime.
That coupled with his extreme cuteness and I,
Have to say that that fatherhood is divine.

Two Days After

I don't know what to say now,
Is it all ending here?
What more do I have to direct outside,
When everything's inside that I hold dear?

Maybe when I learn how to make both the same,
And all my love can be in both places at once,
Not only will I return to where is right,
It will be with a new kind of assurance.

But I will keep on trying because I need,
To show the things I love that I can stick with,
Something, no matter what happens to me,
Because dedication is a great gift.

And it's alright,
If what I love doesn't even see this.
It's about what you do, not what others see,
When measuring the strength of something that exists.

It's a Boy!

I have a new baby,
Will I ever write again,
Or will I just pour out my heart through my fingers?
I'm in a state of constant elation.

Our eyes actually locked when he heard my voice,
And we stayed like that for quite a while,
Him learning from all of the things that I've seen,
Me, of course, seeing life through the eyes of a child.

When it all happened my tears would not stop coming,
Both out of joy and out of the change in plans,
From home birth to getting him out through surgery.
But, after seeing him, I don't give a damn.

And it's alright,
If I miss a couple more of these.
I'd miss a thousand if it meant not missing one,
Moment of all the new things that he sees.

Touching

It is so much harder,
When you decide to work harder,
At things that are harder,
Because they require more than what's just in your heart, sir.

They are things that require that you go,
Out into the world to collect info,
And make it fit with what you have in your heart,
While touching the hearts of other people.

And while you may be able to appreciate,
When it's been done by other people,
It does not mean you have the honesty,
To do the same without being moved by ego.

And it's alright,
A life is not ended at its birth,
One can start different lives at any moment,
Ie., I think I'm starting one now, for what it's worth.

How to Live Life

All is in a state of waiting,
Like life hasn't happened on either side,
Of the moment that will define the rest of it,
And, maybe, be the beginning of its demise.

Is it worth it letting life take you where it will,
Even if you're living actively?
That's one school of thought and it can be a scary one,
But no more scarier than if you know where you're heading.

And nothing's proven, only proven so far,
And then, only in retrospect,
Though, if it affords you a comfortable life,
Whether right or wrong, what the heck?

And it's alright,
Someone will get mad at me anyway,
Someone for living life like a lazy ass,
Or someone for not living honestly.

Derivation

I'm looking forward to the world,
I'll be entering anytime now,
Where life is not quite like it is anywhere.
I hope not to know what is up and what down.

I want to wash my brain and see how I do,
And I wonder what effect it will have on me.
Will it unlock things I've been searching for years,
And make me complete finally?

Sometimes I think there are things that could have happened,
If things had happened in the past differently.
And they probably would have, but life is so delicate,
One wrong turn and I'd end up in poverty.

And it's alright,
It's not like I'm not close to that right now.
I'm on the borderline, though I'm better than most,
Though, that does little to comfort me somehow.

Good Times are Back

Okay, I've gotten over the money,
And the excitement for life is back,
Now the Universe only need do magic,
And nothing more shall I lack.

Like in the old days when she gave me whatever,
I happened to think up in my mind,
And the only thing I did in return,
Was live my life to the fullest as my kind.

But I can wait for that, though I feel it might be happening,
Already in correspondence with my ways,
As they have become more sincere to how I,
Feel that everyone is really okay.

And it's alright,
Even if things don't turn out like in the past,
I'm necessarily a different person 'cause of time,
And, besides, always accepted it might not last.

Due Date

This is really it,
Put everything else on hold,
Though I'll still try to do other things in my life,
I won't be able to, I'm told.

The anxiety I felt very acutely,
I've managed to release enough to remember,
That I want to live as I naturally do,
With my eye constantly on nothing structured.

And remember that there is a magic to life,
Beyond the fact that there is life at all.
It seems we've got a grasp on most of its laws,
But those are only laws within our own walls.

And it's alright,
Go ahead and live as if the world's real.
I know it feels it, and it's a good idea to react.
I just still need to know it's not to genuinely feel.

Hope

How many times can a man go,
To the limit of his expertise,
Before he realizes that no one cares,
And goes back to his own pathetic worries?

Relax, it's just a way to lighten the mood,
For everyone who's gone the limit themselves,
And, for their troubles, got a kick in the pants,
While watching the pants of the kickers swell.

Anyway, the farse has not ended,
In case you might have thought that it actually ever did,
There's always someone waiting to trip you up and laugh when you fall,
And be even happier if it's in front of your kid.

And it's alright,
Though, in the world, this is the rule of thumb,
If it is of any consolation,
Even the richest in the world must succumb.

Yourself

What makes one man happy?
I tell you, it's all about being himself,
And being able to look back on his life,
And know that he was never anyone else.

And if he was, well then it's a simple matter,
Of knowing that he is who he is today.
And off course all those years of not being him,
Were all part of just figuring out the right way.

I was the first to say money can buy happiness,
And I wouldn't give it back if I won the lottery,
But if I had to play a role just to keep it,
I'd rather let this Capitalist system bury me.

And it's alright,
I think I lost my self for a little while,
But it just took a little reflection on what I've done,
To remember what has always made me smile.

Getting By

How shall I get rid of anxiety,
Let me count the ways,
Maybe I can destroy all the things that I love,
So I have no responsibilities.

Not to scare you, I'm really a nice guy,
But these feelings are something new to me,
I guess I had a large resevoir and tolerance,
'Cause, now, I'm really close to just bursting.

But, who knows, maybe when the rough seas are past,
I will find myself in a much better world,
Maybe society will still be unjust,
But into my own mind I might have curled.

And it's alright,
If everything is actually the same.
If my resevoir isn't emptied by tears,
I can try living in a world of just pain.

Countdown

I have a baby coming,
Like a freight train I can't stop.
In the begining it wasn't so real,
But now my body's acting up.

If this is how I am with something like this,
How will I be with something bigger?
Like the collapse of Capitalism,
Or- wait, there is nothing bigger, is there?

So once on the other side, and when there's nothing to do,
Except care for the life I love more than me,
When I can do that as well as live my own life,
There'll be nothing too big for my capability.

And it's alright,
If I'm faced with a challenge at work,
I've ensured the life of a helpless human being.
Any extra task should be considered a perk.

Forgotten

The body reacts to the way,
The mind reacts to things,
The uncontrollable acts, like rivers flowing,
Well, they keep things interesting.

The wretching I hear from the animals around me,
Come, not from illness, but from the life lived,
In total comfort, not because of hard work,
But because of what they've been given.

There is no safety net for me or mine,
One sudden act and all is thrown down a pit,
And forgotten instantly by the world,
Because it ultimately don't care about it.

And it's alright,
Though there is still much time with which to do things,
At least I think there is, and if there isn't,
May the rest of you- I don't know- think of something.

Misery

Things can look so very opposite,
When you look at them in an opposite way.
If Philo's right, then the world's mostly misery,
And you should feel lucky on happy days.

And is it not true that humans are most inclined,
To feel insecurity, no matter what they have,
And that the least pain's more acute than great pleasure?
It's almost difficult to choose which to want at hand.

Can a limit be reached in a personality,
Or is it the same for life?
Even when it seems that something has cracked,
I think they are the same deep inside their mind.

And it's alright,
I will be doing as much as I can,
To feel like I'm missing out on nothing at all,
While still remaining true to who I think I am.

Fuck

I can say fuck with the best of them.
The boundaries that present themselves,
Sporadically, as the fuckin' world spits,
Fondles its piece and adjusts itself.

I'll match my guilt against any of you fuckers,
The worst coming from what I haven't even done.
When your dreams and your upbringing collide,
No technology will heal your perversion.

Pit all against the chance that circumstances will allow,
Natural birth to exist anymore.
The next step has been taken, and Nature's been replaced,
Not by fucking, but by evening the score.

And it's alright,
I don't need to say fuck again,
No richness in language can replace the effect.
Of course, it doesn't really allow your mind to bend.

Blinded

Am I seeing more clearly?
Is that what I wanted to do?
Or did I want to outshine everyone else,
Regardless of what I knew?

The embarrassment at my slow uptake,
Still haunts me until it's replaced by another,
Moment of obliviousness, I don't want,
That to be how I naturally are.

And then there's you, the real centre of my world,
And the light that should be shining on,
Everything I do, but there's still enough of me,
To stand in the face of truth with a revolution.

And it's alright,
I finally get what I was doing wrong.
Sometimes you just have to hit the right buttons,
And your morality goes from weak to strong.

New Life

Much has opened up around me,
But now the question still remains:
Will I stand up and walk towards my dreams,
Or allow things to stay the same?

In the end it is really the same thing,
Anyway, because my life is still entangled in life,
And my life cannot be different from what it is,
Except in the circumstances with which it is rife.

But changes there will be, no doubt of that,
Because soon a child will come into the world,
And if it doesn't, well, that will change things, too.
New life is what can change mine, that's for sure.

And it's alright,
Like I said, the world has opened for me,
And I think this is in preparation for change.
You can't accept change unless you're ready.

Action

Can such a state of action,
Be maintained for a lifetime?
One sees it always amongst the fully-lived,
But what is happening inside?

Is it a predestined state that one just observes,
Or is Existentialism the guide?
As one meets up against decisions in life,
Where does the push come from to stand on a side?

And what of thought? With every action, all energy,
Directs itself to making it done,
And if a life is filled with nothing but acts,
One loses in thought, art, clearness and emotion.

And it's alright,
To try just action for a little while,
Knowing that when it's done you have your thoughts to deal with,
And your emotions with which to reconcile.

Success

Maybe because I'm unlucky,
In the picks I make,
It means I'm lucky in some other realm,
In which I only make mistakes.

Often when one tries for the thing that he wants,
He misses it because he tried too hard.
I know that sounds counter-intuitive,
But if you believe it, it is in the cards.

And are you afraid to believe in some things,
Happening just because for them to happen's your wish?
Is it better to live on sweet, sweet hope,
Than take responsibility for success?

And it's alright,
Whatever gets you through the day.
It's all about how good you feel about yourself,
And what you accomplish may not even be your guage.

Welcome

I know I'm a little late,
I know that you know, too,
And I know now what you know of me,
And must admit that this is something new.

It places me in another kind of state,
Where everything is twice removed,
And where when we meet I'm a little humbled,
Because I'm also a little nude.

But really isn't that better,
Than for me to live a lie?
I suppose so, if you remember,
That, like everybody, I'm made of many guys.

And it's alright,
If this is not what you were expecting,
Wait a little and see who I am then,
And you will be doing some introspecting.

Lady and Three Cats

Have I put myself onto,
A path of no return?
There are so many things that annoy me,
That I may just crash and burn.

And there are things on the horizon that promise,
To make me want to crush my bones in a vise,
And erase any idea of my existence,
So that there is no evidence of this life.

The thought of more of this begins to invade,
My body, so that it becomes more like a vat,
Of all the negativity that can exist.
I never wanted to have things end up like that.

And it's not alright,
At this particular juncture in time.
There's a whole world out there, and I'm stuck right here,
Held down by the ties that bind.

Confidence

I would never have thunk it,
The way it made such a difference,
As if the world had opened up its eyes,
Stretched its legs and discovered sense.

Life is varied in its possible structures,
And the ease of the flows testifies to that.
With just a tweak in consciousness all comes together.
The universe bows, well more like tips its hat.

And the joy, oh the joy in things happening,
Not out of force, but by the force of belief,
And acknowledgement of the forces around,
That serve to compose, erect, birth and conceive.

And it's alright,
I know you don't think that it can really last.
But does anything in the world anyway?
At least it could go until your body has passed.

Mercury

Is it all about what I think it is?
At any moment, I bet it is.
What else is there in anyone but what they see,
As what is their universe?

If it comes out like air through nothing at all,
And is made up of everything there is,
The sound omitted must be deafening,
With the truth that everything encompasses.

So let me talk to you like air through nothing,
And encompass you in its calming womb,
And lie beside you for an eternity,
And the universe will just have to make room.

And it's alright,
If we are only ever the two alive.
Our bodies may starve but we will understand it all,
And we'll never leave for we've always arrived.

Charity

Sometimes when I'm feeling selfish,
Because of what the world's telling me,
I can't but help think of all the things
I do that are considered charity.

Like when I do things for others just for doing
What I can, when no one else can do it.
I understand the capitalist need for proof,
But for that I don't get a charitable receipt.

And then the berations come for doing nothing,
But trying to keep myself alive.
If I have to kill one thing that does not even breathe,
Am I really that bad of a guy?

And it's alright,
What's important is what you know in your heart,
Even if in your heart you know you were meant for better things,
You find strength in at least doing your part.

Status Quo

One day you are healthy,
For the rest you are not sure,
And compared to everyone else you are poor,
That's the Capatalist system's allure.

But this is the same world that always existed,
And will exist far longer than the one we're in,
When we look back as a species on this one,
It won't be one any less primitive.

But what will my role be and do I have claim,
To being in anyway different?
And is that possible for anyone of us,
When we either do or don't have to pay rent?

And it's alright,
Only time will tell.
I predict that life can't go on in this way.
But to those in power, it's a pretty hard sell.