It's Not Arrogant If It's Just My Thoughts

If this doesn't do it,
It will ne'er be my time,
Of course, as I say that I know it's false,
Or at least it's a lie,

'Cause if I knew what happened tomorrow,
I'd not be writing this,
Though, maybe I'd learn I can only do,
What in my heart I know brings my true bliss,

And that it will take care of me one day,
Though I am no seer,
But in which I've such faith I do not lie,
When I say that it's near,

For the future's
Never without a past,
E'n on my death bed I'll probably say,
I'll soon get my recognition at last.

Keep The Faith

Just chase what you want to,
Forget everything else,
Love, success, respect, and pursuit of truth,
Will not protect your self,

They were meant to thrive when you are least safe,
A vanguard with no shield,
Except for a foolish faith in your path,
Knowing it is riddled with pits concealed,

That if fallen into become new paths,
If you maintain your faith,
That there is neither above or below,
Within this human race,

Nor win or lose,
So long as it's a chase,
With no intention of catching your prey,
Once you've killed you end up back in last place.

To Be Trite...

I just heard a podcast,
'bout poet George Hebert,
His poems, latin/english, were heartfelt,
Based on what I had heard,

Like love posed as a synonym for god,
Served to us in three ways,
At death, at the last supper, at a bar,
Open your heart to be blessed for all days,

Born into a family with ten kids,
A father who died young,
A mother who raised them against all odds,
To be educated and clothed in song,

George went on to become an orator,
Stricken by consumption,
Though he wrote an impressive tome of work,
Like his dad, he died young,

Why shouldn't he?
Why not any of us?
It's trite to note that we'll all one day die,
While it's also extremely momentous.

So The Fifty-First Begins

Fifty years have passed, now,
Who of you can say that?
Surely I have earned the right tell you,
How to think and to act.

For we're thrust into the world knowing naught,
How else is wisdom gained,
But by the experiences of life,
The trials and obstacles overcame?

Now, I know nothing about your journey,
My shoes may not fit you,
And fifty years, in the grand scheme of things,
Is practically new,

So never mind,
Your business is your own,
Live and let live, is the advice I give,
All I request is to be left alone.

This Is Therapy

Why do I feel guilty,
For thinking of myself,
By altering the course of my conscious,
Compromising my health,

Wasting my time writing shit like this here,
(I don't really think that),
Or rather, that depends on what's valued,
Not able to help if a loved one's sad?

That last one, though,'s a little misleading,
No one's ever ready,
To rescue someone that they care about,
May that I never see!

But let me free,
That's all I ever want,
Sometimes I forget what it is all for,
Then I feel guilty, then I write a Wath.

Just Sayin'

It's finally happ'ning,
All I have worked hard for,
For the first time I don't feel self-conscious,
Like I am just a bore,

Start making excuses for what I do,
As if anyone knows,
What honesty is supposed to look like,
Believe me, I've let enough chances go,

Simply because, let's face it, I was scared,
Of getting what I want,
Like, I had got to the end of the line,
'stead of found a new haunt,

To start again,
Just from a higher height,
Informed by what it feels like to move up.
You'll miss it if you don't claim what's your right.

One More for Good Measure

How much can you trust you?
How much should you, really?
What makes you think in your short time on earth,
You get reality?

You may have read the books of all the greats,
I think I'll read one now,
You've wisdom and guidance from ones you love,
You think have learned more than you have somehow,

But how much time does one need to find out,
You can't know anything?
I'd say the less time the more wise you are,
But then you have nothing.

There's no reward,
In ascertaining truth,
That's a lie, plenty people make it big,
Knowing what's real, but peddling it as new.

Not Where I Had Started

Sometimes you're so busy,
Free time is filled with guilt,
No matter what gets done, there's always more,
The same way Rome was built,

But sometimes disconnecting is helpful,
Scratch that, it always is,
You're busy because you are valu'ble,
So keep some of your milk for your own bliss,

Or like Hollywood, you'll work for the man,
Speak his words with your voice,
You don't mind being owned by the system,
S'long's he's one of the boys,

But come the day,
He mocks who you've become,
Whether as a child or as an adult,
You are in too deep for revolution.

Gotta Go

This could be the last word,
I ever write again,
Or rather this one, or maybe this one,
Guess I'll never know when,


The space make you wonder?
I actually don't have much time now,
Before I need to pick up my daughter,

Who I hope is okay, which I can't know,
Until she is with me,
Which in truth is not enough to be sure,
Of her security,

Well, such is life,
It's the same for us all,
Life is so damn fleeting and delicate,
Yet we live as if that is usual.

Peace Isn't That Hard

How do you make choices,
To elevate your life,
When doing so when affects the ones you love,
Possibly causing strife,

While they too have their own choices to make,
That could affect you, too,
Thinking you're not as important as them,
Because it's, in the grand scheme of things, true?

Don't look to me for the answer to this,
You'll just get frustrated,
For me, giving the benefit of doubt's,
A trait understated.

Just be sincere,
Others will get the hint,
Until the world finally has peace!
Sounds a little too easy, doesn't it?

TCN and Bad Faith

I've been reading two things,
Di'metric'lly opposed,
If the two writers were to every meet,
They'd acquire raspy throats,

For they'd be screaming to be listened to,
Each by the other one,
So much so they would fail to recognize,
When their two views align with precision,

The perceived difference is an evil,
Meant to thwart connection.
"But what could orchestrate such a grand plan?"
Just look at Babylon.

I don't mean god!
That might be too evil,
We'll never agree on just what that is,
Let's start with something more manageable.

Can’t Say Too Much

I want to be censored,
What do I have to say,
To have the government close my account,
In this democracy?

Incite public anger at corruption,
At the highest levels?
Maybe if someone actu'lly read this!
I'm already afraid I've sounded bells.

We're all conditioned to feel we are free,
That there's no boundaries,
As long as we are not harming others.
Well, test that out and see,

Definitions,
Are negotiable,
Is harm putting someone at risk of pain,
Or showing them they are in a bubble?

Getting By

How fast life turns around,
If e'en just in your mind,
One moment you hold hope for anything,
Next, there's nothing to find,

Only the surety that you've no talent,
Nor appeal to others,
The whole world shareing an understanding,
Passed down by all except by your father,

That prescribes a way to speak hid from you,
Leaving you odious,
While last week you were on top of the world,
The future glorious,

But here's the trick,
It requires faith of sorts,
That everyone else has the same feeling,
With no way of knowing the truth, of course.

Dealing With Bad Luck

There's such thing as bad luck,
Believe me, I've lived it,
Even if each thing can be traced back to,
You not believing it,

You might have done something differently,
That could have improved things,
A little extra attention to risks,
You could have mitigated derailings,

But how much time does one have to commit,
Before it's not worth it?
Use the time saved digging for what you love,
If you've not unearthed it.

Your luck will change,
Like I am sure will mine,
Even if it's because I ignore it,
Let's face it, luck is only in your mind.

Our Disconnect

Sometimes you are just sad,
With no mater'il change,
Which means you've less than you did yesterday.
Doesn't that sound just strange?

Anything else in nature would be glad,
To maintain its function,
Or gain the equivalent of what's gone,
Sounds like a law once proposed by Newton,

But we've made changes to reality,
Because of Kant, not Hume,
The latter followed the laws of Nature,
Despite now being ruined,

Whose fault is that?
I am too tired to guess,
Depression will bring down any human,
No matter how much they have in their chest.

Writer's Block

'fyou look up writer's block,
What do you think you'll find?
Think having written's a prerequisite,
Or's everyone in line?

Without knowing that they have it in them,
To express all they are,
Without the filter of their existence,
The writer's most feared and heaviest bar,

It is only with the luck of nature,
That anybody writes,
The few who woke up on the other side,
That's in ev'ryone's sights,

Just out of reach,
But they are better off,
For some the frustration of missing out's,
Preferrable to doing what they love.

The Writing's Over

Sometimes I try writing,
A song on the guitar,
The tune is right, but the lyrics are wrong,
And oh so very far,

Unlike here where words never fail to come,
Though, would you like these sung?
Truth be told a song's what this form's based on,
Maybe one day you all will sing along,

Not that this is what one wishes to hear,
Let's face it, no feelings,
Are touched as you read what I'm telling you,
This is just for healing.

That's not the word,
See? Now this is all wrong,
I want to tie something up with a bow,
I think I'll try to write another song.

Working Through Sadness

What makes you unhappy,
Can also make you strong,
Can also leave you alone in your bed,
Or lead you into song,

You might think that the reason is money,
Or hormone imbalance,
Intuition that you're on the wrong path,
Or prediction from an innate sixth sense,

You might face it like it's nothing at all,
The same as happiness,
Or let it derail anything that's good,
Because life is a mess,

It's up to you,
Even if it is not,
Nor is there a right way to deal with it,
All that is learned is what the past has taught.

The End Is Nigh

My hip is hurting now,
Because I'm an old man,
There's acute pains I'd never have though to,
Become a distraction,

To the point that getting into the car,
I have to lift up my leg,
Not by telling it to, as was my wont,
But moving it with my hands for the ache,

A situation should I've seen in you,
I'd say the end is nigh,
For why else would someone's body fail them?
I've now become that guy!

I count the days,
Not jnowing what is left,
Like children hoarding halloween candy
As if their wealth's measured by what they've kept.

My Conspiracy Theory

What more is there to say,
To those wanting to know,
What's really happening behind the scenes,
Of what politics shows?

There is no such thing as conspiracy.
If you're looking for truth,
Then you must believe ev'rything you read,
Then assume what you've not read is true, too,

For we are talking about people here,
Have you ever known one?
You best bet there's nothing that's not been done,
Under this godless sun,

For wouldn't you,
If given half the chance?
We all know it's easy to tell yourself,
That others exist just in appearance.

One Day

I have always wanted,
What ev'rybody wants,
Ask me what that is, I say ask yourself,
Then find the confidence,

To live your life as if that is your truth,
Because, you know, it is,
For if your not sure then you know it's not,
The reason and purpose that you exist,

But when you are sure, oh my fucking god-
Well, I'm not sure I know,
I always thought if you did what you want,
There's no place you can't go,

But I was wrong,
About which, I'm not sure,
Either I haven't figured it out, yet,
Or figuring out is a fool's detour.

You’ll Get There

Does this sound famil'ar?
You're walking in a mall,
You watch people moving from store to store,
You are feeling enthrawled,

This is a world that you are living in,
This is what's happening,
Never mind anything else could instead,
Well, maybe that's exactly the meaning,

Of all the questions you have yet to ask,
But I know are coming,
Something has to be something, after all,
Unless it comes from me,

And you're not real,
No need to get upset,
I've written thousands and thousands of these,
You think that I have figured it out, yet?

A Ways to Go

I've yet to disconnect,
In a meaningful way,
From investment in life's ephemera,
Never mind for a day,

Once, on a recliner on vacation,
It wasn't long ago,
Long enough that I remember it still,
But was it real, I can't say that I know,

I may've had a solitary moment,
Enough to recognize,
That it fell short of what would be needed,
To open up one's eyes,

But what it showed,
I can never forget,
Now I am sure there is a life out there,
That I've not experienced, as of yet.

I’ve Been Thinking

I've been thinking a lot,
It's kind of my thing now,
Everyone should take a little time
For some self-reflection.

Like how do I know I know anything?
Don't say that's been answered.
Those who know, know how to lie to themselves,
For how else does the question cause a stir?

Like, if we knew we would know that we knew,
It would be no big deal,
Like how we control electricity,
Assuming that it's real,

See, no one knows,
I'm not being profound,
Plato already showed asking questions
E'er proves there are no answers to be found.

As Time Goes On

How much should I worry,
About what is to come,
Both what is likely from current events,
And imagination,

What I would like to happen despite me,
(No real sense of focus),
What experience tells me to expect,
(Because my dreams so often turn to dust)?

There was a time when it was all out there,
Possibil'ties galore,
Now whittled down to just a couple paths,
I've considered before.

Don't get me wrong!
They're there for they are right,
My heart has led me in lieu of my mind,
The trick's not to let them get in a fight.

Getting Ahead

Once you put your line out,
You have to jerk the rod,
They've got to take not just the bait but hook,
For that, you must play god,

We all create the world in our image,
Until one comes along,
That appears more perfect than what we've got,
It's called getting lured by the siren's song,

Which is the final lesson of this Wath,
Hope your stomach's not weak,
Once reeled in it is time to scale and gut,
The birthright of the meek,

So now you've won,
Got just what you desired,
All you had to do was to sacrifice,
Some schmuck destined for the funeral pyre.

The Path To Peace

I just have to do this,
There's too much energy,
I realize listening to Check Your Head,
Available to me,

Available to you, too, truth be told,
If such a thing's likely,
Actu'lly to happen to anyone,
There's no test to find out what's real'ty,

Which is fine as long as we all know it,
And don't pretend it's false,
Which produces two possibilities,
One should not have a pulse.

Can you guess which?
'Guess' might be the wrong word.
Will you live an authentic existence,
Or cede to the lies to which we're all lured?

When You Admire a Circle

Are there other levels,
One can experience,
In their own life, not as an employee?
Which one should make more sense?

That all there's to strive for's in the system,
Whether work, sleep, or play,
There is no consciousness without others,
To judge if you're a menace or okay?

Or that one is the best judge of themself,
As if no one is there,
A pure appreciation for the truth,
That science would not dare?

How about both?
Plus much more in between,
You have to find out what works best for you,
That's the only way you'll ever be seen.

At Least It’s Not Mine

The ceiling is dripping,
We were told it would stop,
Is it me or do some people believe,
What turns out to be not?

Then you sit thinking what became of it,
Look at the rafters rot,
There's no connection between thoughts and life,
Except alone what's either of them got?

Sometimes you've just got to empty the pail,
Though some water gets through,
After thousands of drops forming one shape,
You should want something new.

I'm naseous now,
It's time to go to sleep,
To the soothing sounds of a crumbling house,
Tonight I'll have to be counting wet sheep.

How To Fit It All In One Day

Maybe you are grappling,
With what you can achieve,
In the short time that you have on this earth,
Before you have to leave,

Perhaps you don't know what it is you want,
God knows I still wonder,
It's bad enough we have to eat and sleep,
Each one of us has to sit and ponder,

For those who think it is a unique gift,
Look what it's led us to,
You think animals have less fulfilled lives,
'Cause they don't refine fuel?

Get outta here,
Do what makes you feel heard,
Everything is out the window now,
The way it should have been from the first word.

How Do We Know?

Fear is fear of something,
That hasn't happened, yet,
Enveloped in the journey to get there,
History prepackaged,

'fyou could've only seen more of the past,
Unravelled before you,
You could have changed it before it happened,
And turned that fear into excitement, too,

Guess you could look at the silver lining,
The past's not ever passed,
It changes to explain what you have done,
Unmeasurably fast,

Unless you - look,
Sorry, I lost my thought,
Let's just say all things have a narrative,
To explain what you've done and what you’ve not.

I See You

I just got new glasses,
They are my second pair,
Unless you own a pair of glasses, too,
I'm betting you don't care,

Just like me when my eyesight was perfect,
When I was young, like you,
You and me, we are exactly the same,
Living on opposite sides of a cube,

The other sides are variations, too,
Luck is what's put us here,
Or chance, or someone etched us with a tool,
The odds for all are peer.

Oh, don't you see?
It is not about sight,
I see just the same as the next person,
That is, if we lived the exact same life.

The Next Stage

What do you think of me,
When I speak out like this,
As if my thoughts are in tune with the world,
If it even exists,

Oh, sure, you can say what you want to, too,
You know that I'm all ears,
I will take your words and put them with mine,
Now we each have one less person to fear,

Because now we both know the other's real,
Unless we're seeing things,
Which is fine, because there's a pill for that,
Better they clip the wings,

Of someone else!
I've come out of my shell,
I couldn't go back if I wanted to,
Though, if I could that would be cool as hell.

Transforming Time

When you find a moment,
Transform it into time,
Do something that would never have been done,
That is what is sublime,

That is what is the human unique trait,
Maybe animals too,
Maybe the rocks, robots, and aliens,
Of course, we can never walk in their shoes,

Or in each other's shoes either, really,
This all could be a dream,
Maybe if we transform the same moment,
I'll see you, you'll see me,

Would we e'en know?
What would be different?
It's faith that makes the world around you real,
There isn't another ingredient.

Not a Bad Idea

One day you'll reach a stage,
You never'd guess exists,
Where who you were is something in the past,
You see could not persist,

Nor could you e'er return to it again,
You'd never be the same,
You bit an apple that gave you knowledge,
You'd need to remove a piece of your brain,

I think they call it a lobotomy,
Not a bad idea,
It's something to keep in my back pocket.
If I ever see ya,

Let me forget,
What I once could have been,
You cannot grow to your full potential,
And still feel you've got reasons for living.

Just Hanging

Ev'rything is quiet,
Both cats silently stare,
The hammock's rocking while i search the sky,
In the late day's cool air,

A bird makes a noise and startles Clover,
The bird is not to blame,
I've got a Talking Heads song in my head,
I swear I don't even know its real name,

The breeze doesn't care about where it goes,
Or whether someone cares,
Or cares about caring about money,
It's only made of air,

Just like we are,
It's hot, escaping fast,
Astrid's still where she'll be an hour from now,
Lying still, looking around, eating grass.

Here We GO

I thought I'd forgotten,
All the lessons I'd learned,
There's too much in my head at the moment,
To acc'ratley discern,

In any meaningful way what I know,
Here's where I am modest,
Again, not being in a stat to say,
That not knowing is really for the best,

Unless you're trying to make a diff'rence,
Then you best know something,
E'en if in the deepest cell of you're heart,
You know it is nothing,

Because it is,
Just like everything,
Ok, I did just spend time writing this,
Tell me what else that I should be doing.

The Challengers

I cannot see too well,
Well, well enough to see,
That sometimes when you tell your self something,
It's not quite what it seems,

It could be that you're just fooling your self,
For a very good cause,
Because when you have more experience,
You'll be doing things no body else does,

Which doesn't mean it will mean anything,
Do not get your hopes up,
It's like any great movie that you've seen,
First you've got to well up,

To know you're real,
No one else should teach this,
They've said it over and over again,
This may as well fucking be the abyss.

Choices

You know what they say,
I don't have to tell you,
When given the choice 'tween risky and safe,
There's no doubt what to do,

Yet what's desired most is that they're the same,
Both feelings live as one,
Since no matter what, no choice is complete,
Without luck's unpredictable outcome,

'Cause when you look back at the choice you made,
You have to be okay,
Even the safe choice is risky these days,
Well, it's e'er been that way,

The past's the key,
To knowing what is right,
Think you made the choice then think how you'd feel,
Choose the path that gave you the most delight.

Survivor

I turn fifty this year,
I know, you’re like, “I bet”,
I’d not watched Survivor since season 8,
When Rob and Amber met,

But now I’ve been obsessed since forty-one,
Here's what I've done between:
Project managed million dollar events,
Doing my masters and raising two teens,

Two years ago I quit my lifer job,
Because I got Covid,
Now I'm at a non-profit center for,

The mental health of kids.

I like to write,
I've done radio, too,
I think I would do well on Survivor,
I thrive in environments that are new.

Still Here

My god, it's been so long,
This doesn't even count,
I'm only feeling guilty about life,
More than I can recount,

I do it so I don't get anywhere,
It's more than I deserve,
At least that's the only thing I can say,
So's as not to admit I'd lost my nerve,

Of course that thinking is behind me now,
I have no time to lose,
That is the reality I must live
According to the news.

Know what I mean?
The conundrum of it,
The fact is it could all be meaningless,
You guffaw, but it can't be refuted.