Youth Wasted

Each week is different,
And closer to your death,
You look back on ones that were not as good,
P'haps you were smoking meth,

Or not succeeding at something you tried,
You thought was your mission,
Then you fail worse in the week after that,
You believe that your peak has come and gone,

Distraction all around you doesn't help,
You are the cause of it,
If you knew what you actually want,
Nothing could inhibit,

Your direction,
Focused and confident,
You would need to be thirty years younger,
Not to accept this basic axiom.

This Isn't Me

Sometimes you must delay,
Something you have to do,
So you do not feel like you owe the world,
Or that the world owns you,

To remember that ev'rything you see,
Is there for no reason,
Even though people try to tell you that,
Like they know ev'rything under the sun,

But to know it all you must know it all,
Though I can't know for sure,
There isn't anyone alive or dead,
That's e'er had that power.

Can I say that?
It's feeling blasphemous,
If I know this world, and believe I do,
I better keep this post anonymous.

The American Dream

The American dream,
It is just as it sounds,
Propped up by a very few who make it,
To keep the dream around,

I guess it's not bad living in a dream,
If you never awake,
If hunger doesn't annihilate sleep,
Or debt, your home and security take,

Or plug yourself into a computer,
That hides all of those things,
You are wasting away but don't know it,
Wait, that is happening,

The dream's here now,
What was I worried 'bout?
Better a short, blissful, and easy life,
Than one of struggle, unfairness, and doubt.

Delayed Thought

I don't have time for this,
No time to think things through,
To avoid thinking back to things I say,
In this moment with you,

I need to work on who I want to be,
Truly, it's about time,
Even if that means being who I've been,
Letting circumstances be what defines,

What it means to be who it is I am.
It's worked for me so far?
It's a testament to my self knowledge,
That I'm not really sure.

This is my life
Either by faith or fear,
With no concrete consequence either way,
Always hoping that this could be the year.

Survive

What have you done in life,
When you look back on it,
Thinking through the decisions that you made,
And what you've not done yet,

Those times you were presented with a choice,
Did you take time to think,
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven steps out,
From the possible consequences brink,

Or did you put faith in some kind of fate,
You thought was on your side,
Because you lived life without strategy,
Like it's some kind of ride,

Which it respects,
It you personified,
While you waste time thinking what could have been,
If you could have stomached knowing you'd like.

Too Bad, So Sad

So I didn't get it,
Worse things have happened, no?
People have died, bombs dropped, houses destroyed,
Someone has spoiled the end,

The key is not to hold on to the past,r> Except as a lesson,
What to do, not to do, to do next time,
Know societal configurations,

Oh sure, take some time to commisserate,
We all need catharsis,
Even draw it out for a couple days,
If you think you'll exist,

For long enough,
Tomorrow's not ensured,
In your final moments, you think you'll wish,
Your indignation with the world endured?

Don't Bother Reading This

I have nothing to say,
So, let me start right now,
I do think I have it all figured out,
I only don't know how,

I successfully got myself this far,
That is, I'm still alive,
Despite that we're a system made of things,
Individually can't be revived,

I mean, what keeps all our parts together,
Don't tell me that it's god,
You may's well tell me it is a fairy,
That assembled this bod,

Until I see,
How that matters to me,
Right now, as I navigate labrynth,
That brings death to all who manage leaving.

Keeping the Peace

Tonight I've a mission,
Not to be Scorpio,
To refrain from caring about affronts,
To my intense ego,

Which does not care to socialize with those,
Who behave with bad faith,
My instinct is to let them understand,
That the consequences are mine to make,

Instead I must put on a mask that says,
I don't see anything,
That is the only possible reason,
That they'd still be living.

I'll wear my horn!
Hanging from a gold chain,
Its presence will keep me safe from the truth,
Which will only lead to regret and pain.

Starting Off Well

I've been told not to hope,
Lest I jinx my chances,
Like the universe don't like to be led,
When you and she dances,

I cannot say that I blame her for that,
It's her party ain't it?
Then again, the best parties I've been to,
Were open to a change to the event,

What is wrong with experimentation,
Trying to mold futures,
Surely there have been people with success,
That hopefully nudged her!

We live once, right?
So, my question is this:
Why do I feel better failing at hopes,
Than succeeding while I'm oblivious?

The Danger of New Lives

Ev'rything is changing,
But, can I change also?
A life I never thought that I could have,
Is one I'll never know,

There are people I never thought I'd meet,
Saying hello to me,
They may as well be saying gobbly goop,
For all I know what they honestly mean,

You know that guy you know you'd never trust,
Because you can see him,
Juxtaposed to what is all familiar,
To what has always been?

Well now I'm blind,
I can't let myself go,
In time I may learn how to navigate,
If I don't succumb to an unknown foe.

Making It Worthy

Let us get things started,
So much time on our hands,
Idleness makes a dang'rous companion,
When you do not have plans,

When there's nothing you would like doing more,
Than watch the next Picard,
Even if it gives important lessons,
You can apply when you are not so bored,

Thinking about all you could be doing,
In the time passing by,
That you will never get use again,
Before you, ahem, die.

That made me laugh,
I guess my work is done,
If I do nothing else again today,
This five minutes has been my redemption.

No Turning Back

Don't know what to tell you,
Thought you knew who I was,
We have spent so many years together,
We were barely an us,

Yet, apparently, I was incorrect,
Your perception of me,
Was someone I didn't know existed,
Within the bounds of our episteme,

Perhaps if you had said something before,
When the gap was less wide,
Twixt how you want me to be and who I'm,
Instead of having lied,

We'd still be friends,
That's what I thought we were,
I've been living in a world that's not there,
The real one's not one I wish to conjure

Feel Better

Speed isn't relative,
Success is in your mind,
If you need proof any of that is true,
Take a look at my life,

Forget that, try taking a look at yours,
Not too fast, or you'll fail,
You might have what ev'ryone thinks you want,

We know one only want what's not for sale, 

Ush'lly because we don't have the money, 

Time, brain, or confidence, 

The yellow brick road requires all of these, 

Run by A.I. agents,

You'll be alright,
The bible told me so,
Death of his kids, pain, and judgemental friends,
Was only god playing around with Job.

Knowing

Why's it any diff'rent,
Doing something at work,
When all of a sudden things fall in place,
During a phase you've shirked,

Compared to the time you showed up someplace,
When fate conspired magic?
Everyone called it coincidence,
In essence, such things are no different.

The trick is living as if they're the same,
Whether luck or spirits,
Choosing a path helps you to understand,
It doesn't matter which,

They're all the same,
But knowing that's wisdom,
Which you only learn through experience.
I'm sure I will one day learn this again.