Transition is Ninth!

Maybe the slowing down's,
Not a sign I'm slowing,
One must move with the rhythm of their life,
To know where they're going.

I hope to say that from a place of wealth,
Both in riches and glee,
Not jinx it getting ahead of myself,
Or by being prematurely happy,

Don't think it's magic that will get me there,
More serendipity,
Fueled by putting myself in the world,
So it can notice me,

Which I e'er try,
But perhap's now's my time,
I have the years and the experience,
Nobody else can offer what is mine.

Transition Forward

Past Waths matched the day's date,
So why should this one change?
Unlike my perspective on the future,
Which is never the same,

One moment to the next I'm different,
The cause of my downfall,
Forever searching an alternate route,
To some destination ethereal,

That isn't really anyplace at all,
'least one I've never found,
Even though I see people all around,
Who seem to be there now,

Being happy,
Is it really that hard,
To know what you want and then to get it,
When money never seems to be that far?

Transition Part Twenty-Late

The only incentive,
For not missing a day,
Of writing my thoughts since I was laid off,
Is what I have to say.

There's no employer replacing parents,
Who love you with money,
All your worth based on what you do for them,
Within a small field of activities.

Whoa, did it take twenty-eight days to get here?
I can't say I like it,
One hopes for less incestuous break-throughs,
Unless it's all a bit.

Guess what, it is!
At least, I do believe,
Though thinking about going back to work,
Makes me feel like I have to eat my peas.

Transition Part 2-4

First I shaved my moustache,
That I had for ten years,
Then I was let go from my fulltime job,
Both had their unique fears:

Would my face look weird to other people?
Was I not good enough?
Will I feel less confident without it?
Will leaving it alone make it more rough?

I'm like a newborn with no family,
Bare as a baby's butt,
Do I venture forth like a warrior,
Or curl up in this rut?

I'm all alone,
In thought, not real'ty,
If you don't think there is a difference,
You have a better perspective than me.

Transition Part 23

Who came up with weekends?
Oh, it was god, wasn't it?
Is there value in us all following,
A time loving despot?

How about we all just do what we love,
In the time that we choose?
Any country, any class, any way,
Without letting any one person lose,

Supporting each other and pitching in,
When something needs be done?
We've tried varied systems and survived 

O'er two millenium.

Or so says god,
Could be far fewer years,
Far's I know, the world only existed,
For's long as I've been able to see her.

Transition Part 22

The way that I'm feeling,
I wish to feel fore'er,
I never knew what work did to my mind,
Am I sounding unfair?

Are eyes rolling because I've it so hard?
Canadian white guy,
Healthcare, safety, democracy, syrup,
Well, so you know, I'm barely getting by,

But I've faith in myself despite these things,
Which I don't think is bad,
Though for most of my life I did believe,
All I'd have's what I had,

Because of guilt,
For having anything,
But that's confusion twixt system and life,
One will not change if one is not willing.

Transition Part Forever 21

They say kids speed up time,
For the ones who raise them,
Before you know it they're out of the house,
'less born this millen-yum.

I'm suspect of anyone's reporting,
With nothing to compare,
I'm sorry, you know how time passes by,
For those with no cubs growing in their lair?

I have kids, I know how time feels for me,
Felt, too, when I had none,
All of my past feels equally distant,
To all other humans.

No, still no job,
But been busy as hell,
This week flew right on by way too quickly,
That is the way it is when you hustle.

Transition Part Venti

I just had a coffee,
Along with some ice cream,
While playing Scrabble the third night running,
With the girl of my dreams,

I still felt like I was working today,
Busier than ever,
More sturdy, more engaged, interested,
Then ev'ry so often, I'd visit her.

That is the life I've e'er wanted to have,
E'er blaming soci'ty,
That only a few enjoy the priv'lege,
So, why should it be me?

I'll tell you why,
There is no reasoning-
Well, there is, there are, too many to count,
So many they almost don't mean a thing.

Transition Part 19

I've been exercising,
Meditating as well,
Those things one wishes one did when employed,
But knows they never will,

Unless they regiment the way they live,
Which many people do,
Early to rise before straddling the desk,
I don't know, I've only e'er met a few,

Which means that I might just run the wrong circles,
Hang out with the wrong crowd,
The ones without the kind of discipline,
That don't get the shout-outs,

They get laid off,
Hey, like me, I suppose,
Is this the phase where I become depressed?
You can't have the highs without any lows.

Transition Part 18

Do I have time for this?
If not for this, then what?
A meditation on where you are now,
Keeps you out of a rut,

It reminds you that most of what you do,
Is e'er mediated,
By some relation outside of yourself,
That is not natural, but created.

Not even god lets you be who you are,
Maybe this computer,
Fed by fingers interpreting my brain,
Allows me to view her,

Yes, she's her,
It doesn't e'en matter,
Look at yourself and say you don't have time,
To put the former before the latter.

Transition Part 17

'oft you need to relax,
A walk to a cafe,
With your best girl walking slightly behind,
'course, you know what they say,

When it's snowed a lot the sidewalk is not,
ADA compliant,
Sometimes she's in front, there is no preference,
No matter where she is, she's heaven-sent,

Then on the uneven snow, two more miles,
Off to the AGO,
Three exhibits, then moules and a cocktail,
Streetside at the bistro,

Then the walk back,
Through the blistering wind,
The day's not quite half done, but I may be,
The most relaxed flaneur that's ever been.

Transition Part 16

I almost missed this one,
But the task was not missed,
For after the coffee and the movie,
There was productiveness,

Which, yes, I know is not really the point,
It's about reflection,
On where I am and where I want to be,
Without any work akin distractions,

Yet it feels quite good to get something done,
Which has to say something,
About where I am, where I want to be,
Unless I'm just hiding,

For fear of truth,
There is too much at stake,
What if what's real makes me stumble and fall,
Finding out that I don't have what it takes?

Transition of Ides

How am I to succeed,
When I can't e'en keep up,
With the goal of journalling ev'ryday?
My life's 'bout to erupt!

There are not enough hours in twenty-four,
To do all that I must,
Without wasting time with love and self-care,
Letting all my potential gather dust,

This world was not built for the non-fulltimes,
'cept for the one percents,
Yeah, yeah, they work harder than anyone,
At social engagements.

What was my point?
Oh yeah, I've no new news,
Just some irons in fire that mean nothing,
Until I can put them to some good use.

Transition Part 12ish

Does not writing one day,
Mean that something was missed,
That will never return back to my mind
No matter how I wish,

So that what I do from now on falls short,
Of all that I should be,
My trajectory forever derailed,
Despite how I expend my energy,

Despite all the ways my life could have gone,
All because of that day,
I let go by, without writing a Wath?
Now, all I've got to say,

Is that the deal?!
Or was that the right move,
Avoiding depressing thoughts that would kill,
All chances obstacles will be removed?

Transition Part 10

As I think on options,
There are two routes I see,
The age-old path of steady employment,
Under a company,

Which feels like the easiest road to take,
Not that jobs are profuse,
Compared to pursuing my own business,
You can see how employment is of use,

No risk that you will run out of contracts,
No hustling for the next,
Benefits and vacation provided,
No putting out of necks,

Though, no movement,
No doing what you want,
Accepting that this world is not for you,
At least, it doesn't want what you have got.

Transition Partly 9

How can I have skipped two?!
Daily journal my ass,
My time's not infinite and here I am,
Trudging through a morass,

Flailing my arms so I don't fall over,
Stuck neck deep in the mud,
Thinking of all I could have been and done,
If I'd nipped my hesitance in the bud,

The fear of failure, the fear of success,
Fear of finding my place,
Deciding to look in from the outside,
With yearning on my face.

Is it too late?
If I was born today,
Would I start doing things differently,
Or do them in the exactly same way?

Transition Part 6

It's hard to know the speed,
To hit the ground running,
Sometimes I fear that I might miss something,
Being too far-looking,

There's something to be said for going slow,
Methodical and clear,
Building a foundation before the house,
Gives you someplace to go in times of fear,

Which is an emotion you should embrace,
For it will show the way,
No substantial change in life comes without,
A reck'ning of the day.

What do I know?
What have I accomplished?
Well, I have spent years setting the cement,
It won't take much ere the house is finished

Transition Parting 5

It is now official,
The papers have been signed
With guarantees at risk of law suits that,
Neither party maligns,

Whoops, have i just said something liable?!
These are things I must learn,
If I am to continue in this world,
Though I think I'm tired of waiting my turn,

At a chance at something I don't want,
But was taught that I do,
It's amazing how it's how you were raised,
Defines for you what's true,

'Til you decide
To go out on your own,
Have belief in your capabilities,
To do what you like even if alone.

Transition Party 4

I still need to catch up,
The story of my life,
Sometimes I think I do it to myself,
For a balance of stride,

For what do I have to complain about,
More than somebody else,
That places me at a disadvantage,
Other than what I can create myself?

Though maybe now I should get serious,
The uphill climb's been groomed
I'm old and poor and am responsible,
For lives outside this room.

So I will climb,
I can't say that I've trained,
But I know what it is I'd like to do,
If I can endure and live with the pain

Transition Part 3

I am one day behind,
Do I do two, today?
Is the time spent worth the value I get,
From the things that I say?

Because the point of these was to reflect,
On what I want to do,
Now that I no longer have full time work,
To support doing the things I want to,

Like writing my thoughts down for ev'ryone;
Helping folks organize;
Collaborating on creative builds;
Interviewing cool guys.

Well, there you go,
Self-reflection enough?
I will try to squeeze one more in today,
Once I've reviewed all this previous stuff.

Transition Part 2

What are those five stages?
You know, when you're in grief,
Not that I can say that I have been sad,
If anything, relief.

You probably think this is denial,
Just wait a few more days,
Once the shock has worn off and you realize,
You still need to get paid,

To afford what soci'ty demands you buy,
According to income,
So, demands change; so too, does your lifestyle,
Who needs revolution?

Just know the game,
And the role that you play,
Know that you'll always have just what you need,
How could anybody not be okay?

Transition Part 1

My advisor told me,
Well, advisor's a stretch,
Someone I met with to give me advice,
Provides a truer sketch,

That in this period of transition,
For that's my current bent,
Jobless, but not yet upset about it,
Like I'll be when I can't pay my rent,

I should journal; that's it, that's all she said,
That I'm willing to share,
So here I begin, not quite able to stall,
With one stanza to spare,

When they said go,
It was a short, sharp, shock,
Served at the right time, though it's still painful,
No, if I am to be honest, it's not.

Nine Days After

Why did I not come here,
The moment it happened,
While the shock was still fresh in heart and mind,
Aft' my world upended,

When all that what one defines oneself with,
Was just taken away,
Could no more answer when asked what I do,
Which tasks for others I fill up my days,

With a shake of my head seeking pity,
For the system we slave,
Free yet restricted, like monkeys in zoos,
Our path marked out and paved?

This was once first,
In truth, it still might be,
At least for expressing, in truth, my thoughts,
Sometimes they need time for maturity.

No Regrets

I have a few regrets,
Things I wish I had done,
Not knowing if I would be better off,
Or steeped in depression,

If I was even still living at all,
The point is you don't know,
All there is is what you think might have been,
In some world to which you can never go,

Or you can take the opportunity,
To learn from your mistakes,
Until you understand there's no such think,
Alternate paths are fake,

This is what's real,
Where you occupy space,
Wasting your time reading this piece of shit,
I wish I'd not started in the first place.

New Year?

Here's what to get from life:
Surprise at what comes next,
Stumbling into an unplanned adventure,
An old friend sends a text,

You get a job-offer out of the blue,
Didn't even apply,
Someone with money wants to give you some,
Yeah, I get it, you are just not that guy,

You've had enough advantages to win,
You took chances enough,
You have faith in your own ability,
You don't turn people off.

So, what is it,
That you can't get ahead,
The system, chance, an all powerful god,
Or are you just too much in your own head?

Belief

You can't point at one thing,
Then say that's all there is,
E'en if that thing's everything there is,
It's still erroneous,

Though I suppose your other three fingers,
Are pointing back at you,
Which covers another base but not all,
Unless you're pointing at your own hand, too,

Which, not to sound like a broken record,
Would still leave some things out,
Maybe just the act of trying's enough,
If you remain devout,

And don't waiver,
We call that religion,
Which is helpful for a short slice of time,
'til you see you're not the only human.

Something New!

That man who's stumbling by,
With no hope, just bad luck,
Only sees the world with eyes of the cursed,
For whom ev'rything sucks.

Can you imagine being someone else,
With different world views,
In exactly the same circumstances,
With exposure to the exact same news?

Imagining that's a revolution,
Of mind, now bring action,
That's one possible system overide,
To usurp a nation.

But then what, dear?
Uh oh,am I the man?
Nothing's been said that's not been said before,
'til it is said by a diff'rent human.

Too Quick

Things aren't bad at all,
I've a roof overhead,
Sometimes I wish I had accomplished more,
That's proof I'm not yet dead,

The level I desire's never been close,
Who'd I be if it was?
I'd probably be drinking all day long,
At night I'd be thoroughly unconscious,

I would have no dreams waking or sleeping,
Would that e'en be a life,
Then again, if I ne'er get what I want,
Would it be worth the strife?

Know what I mean?
I'm not sure that I do,
I think I need the slow burn to work out,
What in this life I should really value.

Let Me Help

What's it take to tell you,
What you need to hear,
To make you understand you'll be someone,
If you just keep me near,

Let me me raise you up to the stars above,
For all the world to see,
What I see when I look into those eyes,
That read my mind when they look back at me?
You wouldn't have to fear for your future,
Your have all that you need,
People with less will clamor for your help,
Enemies will take head.

Let me help you,
The price hardly matters,
All you can know is what is in your mind, Ev'ryone else may as well be actors.

Wintertime Blues

This wintertime of year,
The light gone before day,
E'vry mind you see is on other things,
So very far away,

No wonder you suddenly feel alone,
Your feelings never lie,
Now your choice is to take this time to change,
Into a completely different guy,

One who is ev'rything you've e'er wanted,
Though you ne'er found the time,
Reflect, be thankful, make resolutions,
But stay within the lines,

Of what's proper,
We are not animals,
Change can only happen in our structures,
Or, you know, it's not really change at all.

This Dog

There's a dog beside me,
Stretched out and sleeping sound,
If animals can cure anxiety,
The doctor is in town,

There is no other moment in this one,
No decisions you made,
That haunt you when you stop to think of them,
When these paws rest in your armpit this way,

The flesh and bone and sinew are all there,
Why not a soul as well?
Unless you know something that I do not,
Then please, dear one, do tell.

You know what? Don't,
This puppy just arose,
Now it is pooping on its diaper pad,
No, wait, it's not e'en going to be close!

The State Of Today

There is what people say,
Then there is what they think,
Then there is reaction inferred from,
An unsupported link,

Based on a bias rooted in their thoughts,
They'd ne'er articulate,
But doesn't stop them from organizing,
To eradicate manufactured hate,

Which by then obfuscates the real issue,
Engagement in bad faith,
Until the light of straw man effigies,
Shadows what's underneath.

Which is what's real,
Since the onset of thought,
The need to know what is unknowable,
The cause of every war that's been fought.

There IS Magic!

Some things feel like magic,
Like they were meant to be,
If that's what they are then what does that say,
About one's tragedies?

Or even about the doldrums of life,
Are we all just surfing,
Spending most of our lives padddling from shore,
T'experience the thrill of returning?

I guess there's all the time to contemplate,
About magic moments,
If all was magic, it would be doldrum,
The truth for all humans.

How do I know?
If I'm pricked, then I bleed,
I may as well be talking to no one,
If everyone else is not like me.

I'm Just a White Dude

You might think I'm silly,
Living among the rich,
So close, yet so far, yet closer than you,
Depending on the pitch,

That was thrown to you and how good you are,
Through nature or nurture,
You know you have to live in a system,
To imagine any kind of future,

Even though when you think of the trade-offs,
You wonder's it worth it,
jesus said there would always be the poor,
Was he hedging his bets?

Only god knows,
That's why guilt is his drug,
Only a man would cover his own ass,
By sweeping the many under the rug.

What the Fuck Am I Talking About?

How much time do you have,
To become who you want?
I will tell you what, I know in my life,
That thought forever haunts,

Do you even know what you have to do,

To feel you've got it right?

In truth, if you still haven't gotten there yet,
I recommend that you call it a night,

Not that you've done any better than me,
god knows that I have tried,
Or have I? TBH I've never focused,
For long stretches of time,

Unless you count,
The years of faith I've held,
That all I've produced will one day break through,
Like an old sycamore that has been felled.

Falling Down

Climbing out of a hole,
Is like being depressed,
Not to diminish one to the other,
One's much more ambitious,

One makes you feel tired for diff'rent reasons,
One can't be successful,
Looking around everywhere that you go,
Whether or not you can get an eyeful,

One time I didn't think I would get out,
The exit, oh, so near,
That's the luck one can have all of the time,
Only a few, I fear.

Could you be one?
Well, only time will tell,
'less you can take one moment at a time,
Then time will have a snowball's chance in hell.

It's Not Arrogant If It's Just My Thoughts

If this doesn't do it,
It will ne'er be my time,
Of course, as I say that I know it's false,
Or at least it's a lie,

'Cause if I knew what happened tomorrow,
I'd not be writing this,
Though, maybe I'd learn I can only do,
What in my heart I know brings my true bliss,

And that it will take care of me one day,
Though I am no seer,
But in which I've such faith I do not lie,
When I say that it's near,

For the future's
Never without a past,
E'n on my death bed I'll probably say,
I'll soon get my recognition at last.

Keep The Faith

Just chase what you want to,
Forget everything else,
Love, success, respect, and pursuit of truth,
Will not protect your self,

They were meant to thrive when you are least safe,
A vanguard with no shield,
Except for a foolish faith in your path,
Knowing it is riddled with pits concealed,

That if fallen into become new paths,
If you maintain your faith,
That there is neither above or below,
Within this human race,

Nor win or lose,
So long as it's a chase,
With no intention of catching your prey,
Once you've killed you end up back in last place.

To Be Trite...

I just heard a podcast,
'bout poet George Hebert,
His poems, latin/english, were heartfelt,
Based on what I had heard,

Like love posed as a synonym for god,
Served to us in three ways,
At death, at the last supper, at a bar,
Open your heart to be blessed for all days,

Born into a family with ten kids,
A father who died young,
A mother who raised them against all odds,
To be educated and clothed in song,

George went on to become an orator,
Stricken by consumption,
Though he wrote an impressive tome of work,
Like his dad, he died young,

Why shouldn't he?
Why not any of us?
It's trite to note that we'll all one day die,
While it's also extremely momentous.

So The Fifty-First Begins

Fifty years have passed, now,
Who of you can say that?
Surely I have earned the right tell you,
How to think and to act.

For we're thrust into the world knowing naught,
How else is wisdom gained,
But by the experiences of life,
The trials and obstacles overcame?

Now, I know nothing about your journey,
My shoes may not fit you,
And fifty years, in the grand scheme of things,
Is practically new,

So never mind,
Your business is your own,
Live and let live, is the advice I give,
All I request is to be left alone.

This Is Therapy

Why do I feel guilty,
For thinking of myself,
By altering the course of my conscious,
Compromising my health,

Wasting my time writing shit like this here,
(I don't really think that),
Or rather, that depends on what's valued,
Not able to help if a loved one's sad?

That last one, though,'s a little misleading,
No one's ever ready,
To rescue someone that they care about,
May that I never see!

But let me free,
That's all I ever want,
Sometimes I forget what it is all for,
Then I feel guilty, then I write a Wath.

Just Sayin'

It's finally happ'ning,
All I have worked hard for,
For the first time I don't feel self-conscious,
Like I am just a bore,

Start making excuses for what I do,
As if anyone knows,
What honesty is supposed to look like,
Believe me, I've let enough chances go,

Simply because, let's face it, I was scared,
Of getting what I want,
Like, I had got to the end of the line,
'stead of found a new haunt,

To start again,
Just from a higher height,
Informed by what it feels like to move up.
You'll miss it if you don't claim what's your right.

One More for Good Measure

How much can you trust you?
How much should you, really?
What makes you think in your short time on earth,
You get reality?

You may have read the books of all the greats,
I think I'll read one now,
You've wisdom and guidance from ones you love,
You think have learned more than you have somehow,

But how much time does one need to find out,
You can't know anything?
I'd say the less time the more wise you are,
But then you have nothing.

There's no reward,
In ascertaining truth,
That's a lie, plenty people make it big,
Knowing what's real, but peddling it as new.

Not Where I Had Started

Sometimes you're so busy,
Free time is filled with guilt,
No matter what gets done, there's always more,
The same way Rome was built,

But sometimes disconnecting is helpful,
Scratch that, it always is,
You're busy because you are valu'ble,
So keep some of your milk for your own bliss,

Or like Hollywood, you'll work for the man,
Speak his words with your voice,
You don't mind being owned by the system,
S'long's he's one of the boys,

But come the day,
He mocks who you've become,
Whether as a child or as an adult,
You are in too deep for revolution.

Gotta Go

This could be the last word,
I ever write again,
Or rather this one, or maybe this one,
Guess I'll never know when,


The space make you wonder?
I actually don't have much time now,
Before I need to pick up my daughter,

Who I hope is okay, which I can't know,
Until she is with me,
Which in truth is not enough to be sure,
Of her security,

Well, such is life,
It's the same for us all,
Life is so damn fleeting and delicate,
Yet we live as if that is usual.

Peace Isn't That Hard

How do you make choices,
To elevate your life,
When doing so when affects the ones you love,
Possibly causing strife,

While they too have their own choices to make,
That could affect you, too,
Thinking you're not as important as them,
Because it's, in the grand scheme of things, true?

Don't look to me for the answer to this,
You'll just get frustrated,
For me, giving the benefit of doubt's,
A trait understated.

Just be sincere,
Others will get the hint,
Until the world finally has peace!
Sounds a little too easy, doesn't it?

TCN and Bad Faith

I've been reading two things,
Di'metric'lly opposed,
If the two writers were to every meet,
They'd acquire raspy throats,

For they'd be screaming to be listened to,
Each by the other one,
So much so they would fail to recognize,
When their two views align with precision,

The perceived difference is an evil,
Meant to thwart connection.
"But what could orchestrate such a grand plan?"
Just look at Babylon.

I don't mean god!
That might be too evil,
We'll never agree on just what that is,
Let's start with something more manageable.

Can’t Say Too Much

I want to be censored,
What do I have to say,
To have the government close my account,
In this democracy?

Incite public anger at corruption,
At the highest levels?
Maybe if someone actu'lly read this!
I'm already afraid I've sounded bells.

We're all conditioned to feel we are free,
That there's no boundaries,
As long as we are not harming others.
Well, test that out and see,

Definitions,
Are negotiable,
Is harm putting someone at risk of pain,
Or showing them they are in a bubble?

Getting By

How fast life turns around,
If e'en just in your mind,
One moment you hold hope for anything,
Next, there's nothing to find,

Only the surety that you've no talent,
Nor appeal to others,
The whole world shareing an understanding,
Passed down by all except by your father,

That prescribes a way to speak hid from you,
Leaving you odious,
While last week you were on top of the world,
The future glorious,

But here's the trick,
It requires faith of sorts,
That everyone else has the same feeling,
With no way of knowing the truth, of course.

Dealing With Bad Luck

There's such thing as bad luck,
Believe me, I've lived it,
Even if each thing can be traced back to,
You not believing it,

You might have done something differently,
That could have improved things,
A little extra attention to risks,
You could have mitigated derailings,

But how much time does one have to commit,
Before it's not worth it?
Use the time saved digging for what you love,
If you've not unearthed it.

Your luck will change,
Like I am sure will mine,
Even if it's because I ignore it,
Let's face it, luck is only in your mind.

Our Disconnect

Sometimes you are just sad,
With no mater'il change,
Which means you've less than you did yesterday.
Doesn't that sound just strange?

Anything else in nature would be glad,
To maintain its function,
Or gain the equivalent of what's gone,
Sounds like a law once proposed by Newton,

But we've made changes to reality,
Because of Kant, not Hume,
The latter followed the laws of Nature,
Despite now being ruined,

Whose fault is that?
I am too tired to guess,
Depression will bring down any human,
No matter how much they have in their chest.

Writer's Block

'fyou look up writer's block,
What do you think you'll find?
Think having written's a prerequisite,
Or's everyone in line?

Without knowing that they have it in them,
To express all they are,
Without the filter of their existence,
The writer's most feared and heaviest bar,

It is only with the luck of nature,
That anybody writes,
The few who woke up on the other side,
That's in ev'ryone's sights,

Just out of reach,
But they are better off,
For some the frustration of missing out's,
Preferrable to doing what they love.

The Writing's Over

Sometimes I try writing,
A song on the guitar,
The tune is right, but the lyrics are wrong,
And oh so very far,

Unlike here where words never fail to come,
Though, would you like these sung?
Truth be told a song's what this form's based on,
Maybe one day you all will sing along,

Not that this is what one wishes to hear,
Let's face it, no feelings,
Are touched as you read what I'm telling you,
This is just for healing.

That's not the word,
See? Now this is all wrong,
I want to tie something up with a bow,
I think I'll try to write another song.

Working Through Sadness

What makes you unhappy,
Can also make you strong,
Can also leave you alone in your bed,
Or lead you into song,

You might think that the reason is money,
Or hormone imbalance,
Intuition that you're on the wrong path,
Or prediction from an innate sixth sense,

You might face it like it's nothing at all,
The same as happiness,
Or let it derail anything that's good,
Because life is a mess,

It's up to you,
Even if it is not,
Nor is there a right way to deal with it,
All that is learned is what the past has taught.

The End Is Nigh

My hip is hurting now,
Because I'm an old man,
There's acute pains I'd never have though to,
Become a distraction,

To the point that getting into the car,
I have to lift up my leg,
Not by telling it to, as was my wont,
But moving it with my hands for the ache,

A situation should I've seen in you,
I'd say the end is nigh,
For why else would someone's body fail them?
I've now become that guy!

I count the days,
Not jnowing what is left,
Like children hoarding halloween candy
As if their wealth's measured by what they've kept.

My Conspiracy Theory

What more is there to say,
To those wanting to know,
What's really happening behind the scenes,
Of what politics shows?

There is no such thing as conspiracy.
If you're looking for truth,
Then you must believe ev'rything you read,
Then assume what you've not read is true, too,

For we are talking about people here,
Have you ever known one?
You best bet there's nothing that's not been done,
Under this godless sun,

For wouldn't you,
If given half the chance?
We all know it's easy to tell yourself,
That others exist just in appearance.

One Day

I have always wanted,
What ev'rybody wants,
Ask me what that is, I say ask yourself,
Then find the confidence,

To live your life as if that is your truth,
Because, you know, it is,
For if your not sure then you know it's not,
The reason and purpose that you exist,

But when you are sure, oh my fucking god-
Well, I'm not sure I know,
I always thought if you did what you want,
There's no place you can't go,

But I was wrong,
About which, I'm not sure,
Either I haven't figured it out, yet,
Or figuring out is a fool's detour.

You’ll Get There

Does this sound famil'ar?
You're walking in a mall,
You watch people moving from store to store,
You are feeling enthrawled,

This is a world that you are living in,
This is what's happening,
Never mind anything else could instead,
Well, maybe that's exactly the meaning,

Of all the questions you have yet to ask,
But I know are coming,
Something has to be something, after all,
Unless it comes from me,

And you're not real,
No need to get upset,
I've written thousands and thousands of these,
You think that I have figured it out, yet?

A Ways to Go

I've yet to disconnect,
In a meaningful way,
From investment in life's ephemera,
Never mind for a day,

Once, on a recliner on vacation,
It wasn't long ago,
Long enough that I remember it still,
But was it real, I can't say that I know,

I may've had a solitary moment,
Enough to recognize,
That it fell short of what would be needed,
To open up one's eyes,

But what it showed,
I can never forget,
Now I am sure there is a life out there,
That I've not experienced, as of yet.

I’ve Been Thinking

I've been thinking a lot,
It's kind of my thing now,
Everyone should take a little time
For some self-reflection.

Like how do I know I know anything?
Don't say that's been answered.
Those who know, know how to lie to themselves,
For how else does the question cause a stir?

Like, if we knew we would know that we knew,
It would be no big deal,
Like how we control electricity,
Assuming that it's real,

See, no one knows,
I'm not being profound,
Plato already showed asking questions
E'er proves there are no answers to be found.

As Time Goes On

How much should I worry,
About what is to come,
Both what is likely from current events,
And imagination,

What I would like to happen despite me,
(No real sense of focus),
What experience tells me to expect,
(Because my dreams so often turn to dust)?

There was a time when it was all out there,
Possibil'ties galore,
Now whittled down to just a couple paths,
I've considered before.

Don't get me wrong!
They're there for they are right,
My heart has led me in lieu of my mind,
The trick's not to let them get in a fight.

Getting Ahead

Once you put your line out,
You have to jerk the rod,
They've got to take not just the bait but hook,
For that, you must play god,

We all create the world in our image,
Until one comes along,
That appears more perfect than what we've got,
It's called getting lured by the siren's song,

Which is the final lesson of this Wath,
Hope your stomach's not weak,
Once reeled in it is time to scale and gut,
The birthright of the meek,

So now you've won,
Got just what you desired,
All you had to do was to sacrifice,
Some schmuck destined for the funeral pyre.

The Path To Peace

I just have to do this,
There's too much energy,
I realize listening to Check Your Head,
Available to me,

Available to you, too, truth be told,
If such a thing's likely,
Actu'lly to happen to anyone,
There's no test to find out what's real'ty,

Which is fine as long as we all know it,
And don't pretend it's false,
Which produces two possibilities,
One should not have a pulse.

Can you guess which?
'Guess' might be the wrong word.
Will you live an authentic existence,
Or cede to the lies to which we're all lured?

When You Admire a Circle

Are there other levels,
One can experience,
In their own life, not as an employee?
Which one should make more sense?

That all there's to strive for's in the system,
Whether work, sleep, or play,
There is no consciousness without others,
To judge if you're a menace or okay?

Or that one is the best judge of themself,
As if no one is there,
A pure appreciation for the truth,
That science would not dare?

How about both?
Plus much more in between,
You have to find out what works best for you,
That's the only way you'll ever be seen.

At Least It’s Not Mine

The ceiling is dripping,
We were told it would stop,
Is it me or do some people believe,
What turns out to be not?

Then you sit thinking what became of it,
Look at the rafters rot,
There's no connection between thoughts and life,
Except alone what's either of them got?

Sometimes you've just got to empty the pail,
Though some water gets through,
After thousands of drops forming one shape,
You should want something new.

I'm naseous now,
It's time to go to sleep,
To the soothing sounds of a crumbling house,
Tonight I'll have to be counting wet sheep.

How To Fit It All In One Day

Maybe you are grappling,
With what you can achieve,
In the short time that you have on this earth,
Before you have to leave,

Perhaps you don't know what it is you want,
God knows I still wonder,
It's bad enough we have to eat and sleep,
Each one of us has to sit and ponder,

For those who think it is a unique gift,
Look what it's led us to,
You think animals have less fulfilled lives,
'Cause they don't refine fuel?

Get outta here,
Do what makes you feel heard,
Everything is out the window now,
The way it should have been from the first word.

How Do We Know?

Fear is fear of something,
That hasn't happened, yet,
Enveloped in the journey to get there,
History prepackaged,

'fyou could've only seen more of the past,
Unravelled before you,
You could have changed it before it happened,
And turned that fear into excitement, too,

Guess you could look at the silver lining,
The past's not ever passed,
It changes to explain what you have done,
Unmeasurably fast,

Unless you - look,
Sorry, I lost my thought,
Let's just say all things have a narrative,
To explain what you've done and what you’ve not.

I See You

I just got new glasses,
They are my second pair,
Unless you own a pair of glasses, too,
I'm betting you don't care,

Just like me when my eyesight was perfect,
When I was young, like you,
You and me, we are exactly the same,
Living on opposite sides of a cube,

The other sides are variations, too,
Luck is what's put us here,
Or chance, or someone etched us with a tool,
The odds for all are peer.

Oh, don't you see?
It is not about sight,
I see just the same as the next person,
That is, if we lived the exact same life.

The Next Stage

What do you think of me,
When I speak out like this,
As if my thoughts are in tune with the world,
If it even exists,

Oh, sure, you can say what you want to, too,
You know that I'm all ears,
I will take your words and put them with mine,
Now we each have one less person to fear,

Because now we both know the other's real,
Unless we're seeing things,
Which is fine, because there's a pill for that,
Better they clip the wings,

Of someone else!
I've come out of my shell,
I couldn't go back if I wanted to,
Though, if I could that would be cool as hell.

Transforming Time

When you find a moment,
Transform it into time,
Do something that would never have been done,
That is what is sublime,

That is what is the human unique trait,
Maybe animals too,
Maybe the rocks, robots, and aliens,
Of course, we can never walk in their shoes,

Or in each other's shoes either, really,
This all could be a dream,
Maybe if we transform the same moment,
I'll see you, you'll see me,

Would we e'en know?
What would be different?
It's faith that makes the world around you real,
There isn't another ingredient.

Not a Bad Idea

One day you'll reach a stage,
You never'd guess exists,
Where who you were is something in the past,
You see could not persist,

Nor could you e'er return to it again,
You'd never be the same,
You bit an apple that gave you knowledge,
You'd need to remove a piece of your brain,

I think they call it a lobotomy,
Not a bad idea,
It's something to keep in my back pocket.
If I ever see ya,

Let me forget,
What I once could have been,
You cannot grow to your full potential,
And still feel you've got reasons for living.

Just Hanging

Ev'rything is quiet,
Both cats silently stare,
The hammock's rocking while i search the sky,
In the late day's cool air,

A bird makes a noise and startles Clover,
The bird is not to blame,
I've got a Talking Heads song in my head,
I swear I don't even know its real name,

The breeze doesn't care about where it goes,
Or whether someone cares,
Or cares about caring about money,
It's only made of air,

Just like we are,
It's hot, escaping fast,
Astrid's still where she'll be an hour from now,
Lying still, looking around, eating grass.

Here We GO

I thought I'd forgotten,
All the lessons I'd learned,
There's too much in my head at the moment,
To acc'ratley discern,

In any meaningful way what I know,
Here's where I am modest,
Again, not being in a stat to say,
That not knowing is really for the best,

Unless you're trying to make a diff'rence,
Then you best know something,
E'en if in the deepest cell of you're heart,
You know it is nothing,

Because it is,
Just like everything,
Ok, I did just spend time writing this,
Tell me what else that I should be doing.

The Challengers

I cannot see too well,
Well, well enough to see,
That sometimes when you tell your self something,
It's not quite what it seems,

It could be that you're just fooling your self,
For a very good cause,
Because when you have more experience,
You'll be doing things no body else does,

Which doesn't mean it will mean anything,
Do not get your hopes up,
It's like any great movie that you've seen,
First you've got to well up,

To know you're real,
No one else should teach this,
They've said it over and over again,
This may as well fucking be the abyss.

Choices

You know what they say,
I don't have to tell you,
When given the choice 'tween risky and safe,
There's no doubt what to do,

Yet what's desired most is that they're the same,
Both feelings live as one,
Since no matter what, no choice is complete,
Without luck's unpredictable outcome,

'Cause when you look back at the choice you made,
You have to be okay,
Even the safe choice is risky these days,
Well, it's e'er been that way,

The past's the key,
To knowing what is right,
Think you made the choice then think how you'd feel,
Choose the path that gave you the most delight.

Survivor

I turn fifty this year,
I know, you’re like, “I bet”,
I’d not watched Survivor since season 8,
When Rob and Amber met,

But now I’ve been obsessed since forty-one,
Here's what I've done between:
Project managed million dollar events,
Doing my masters and raising two teens,

Two years ago I quit my lifer job,
Because I got Covid,
Now I'm at a non-profit center for,

The mental health of kids.

I like to write,
I've done radio, too,
I think I would do well on Survivor,
I thrive in environments that are new.

Still Here

My god, it's been so long,
This doesn't even count,
I'm only feeling guilty about life,
More than I can recount,

I do it so I don't get anywhere,
It's more than I deserve,
At least that's the only thing I can say,
So's as not to admit I'd lost my nerve,

Of course that thinking is behind me now,
I have no time to lose,
That is the reality I must live
According to the news.

Know what I mean?
The conundrum of it,
The fact is it could all be meaningless,
You guffaw, but it can't be refuted.

Ode to Survivor

I am on Survivor,
So is everyone,
Not in a superfan obsession way.
But all my relations,

Where they fit in the ultimate final,
Where only one is left,
Not in some weird 'there must be just one' way,
But in all of our own personal quest,

Finding yourself and what makes you the best,
At what it is you do,
Not at the expense of anyone else,
But as relates to you,

When the tribe speaks,
You will get all the votes,
Not from the tribe that's made of your rivals,
But from the jury who've all worn your coat.

When a Tree Falls in the Forest

Why has it been so long?
Who says that it has been?
You think just because I'm not posting here,
No output if unseen?

No more questions, I'm sounding aggressive,
Though, why the hell can't I?
Should not one's output tell you all of them,
From grand epiphanies to petty crimes?

Enough questions, let's get to the real point,
Or do you think there's none?
I can't imagine saying anything,
Without some intention.

What do you think?
Sorry, I just stepped out,
If you said something, you did not say it,
For I didn't hear what it was about.

The Two Swords

There are times in this world,
For pure satisfaction,
Embrace the moment like that's all there is,
To spur 'magination,

Then there are times to view the horizon,
Imagine yourself there,
Chart out the best route methodically,
For fortune does not come out of thin air,

just like there is no overnight success,
Without lots of hard toil,
If I'd figured that out decades ago...
Well, regret's the sole's soil,

Back to the world,
That is the horizon,
Let bliss be the north star that guides your way,
Just do the work to maintain your motion.

The Universal Survey

If you asked a question,
Of ev'ryone you know,
Individually, without sharing,
Where other answers go,

What question would it need to be to have,
All answers in common?
"Do you want peace?", "Do you have what you want?",
"Is there a difference between humans?",

"Do you want ev'ryone to be the same?",
"Can you and I be friends?",
"Do you think we have the communal will,
"To bring war to an end?"

What about me?
Yes, no, no, no, yes, no,
I guess if you're reading this it's a start,
Try sending it to ev'ryone you know.

A Meditation

Some things should not be said,
They should be done, instead,
The very act of putting words to them,
Leaves the intention dead,

You want an example, I can't give one,
For the exact reason,
Just know that as you are consuming this,
It's only possible through my action,

How long it took you are welcome to guess,
Let your mind do the rest,
Extract the meaning only you can find,
Or what's left out, at best,

Now off you go,
I mean no disrespect,
If you give me some benefit of doubt,
You may find my expression is perfect.

A Downer

Two plus two equals four,
Five times three is fifteen,
Add them together and then you can drink,
Except in Tamuning,

Plus other places owned by the U.S.,
But you can buy a gun,
This ain't a critique of America,
I've not the stomach for revolution,

To tell the truth, I'm not even from there,
But, oh boy, I'd be screwed,
If that empire actually died,
I bet that you'd be, too,

But there are those,
Who'd welcome its demise,
Unless it meant nuclear holocaust,
I don't have enough lines to make this nice.

Here’s The Problem

It's best we all hustle,
If we want to survive,
Make sure that we all know every angle,
To keep ourselves alive,

Understanding what will help or hurt us,
Given any human,
Not forgetting that we all are equal,
To hustle you do not have to be mean,

Just like CEOs don't have to either,
Nor does your jealous friend,
We know that if everyone was just nice,
All world conflict would end,

That's de facto,
You cannot pretend,
That government would even be a thing,
If we all just had the best intentions.

Stop Reading

Here's the thing about faith,
In a god or in you,
Assuming there's a diff'rence between them,
That's not in my purview,

In either case you are taking a leap,
Without a guarantee,
That instead of you being rewarded,
When you land you won't crush your hopes and dreams,

The alternative's familiar to all,
You're doing it right now,
Not that reading is a big waste of time,
But we know it's not how,

To make a life,
'Least that's what my dad said,
He was always fearful of what I'd learn,
Absorbing the thoughts from another's head.

Where's My Place

Why've I not been writing?
I'll tell you what it is,
I have been struggling with what use I am,
Midst the circumstances,

Surrounding climate, war, and, yes, my skin,
Shouldn't I keep quiet,
Let those speak with more of it in the game,
Maybe they can fix the broke my kind lit,

Then again what happens if they do not,
But turn the tables 'round,
Take what should have been their rights from the start,
Eye for eye, pound for pound?

Or should my voice,
Quiet down just enough,
'Til there's room for everyone equally?
I am afraid, these days, I'm not that tough.

Losing My Religion

Oh, here we go again,
Depressed for no reason,
Except for all those actions I repressed,
For ethical questions,

Which is the reason for all religion,
Speaking of which, I've none,
Except for my faith in the universe,
Instilled by my catholic reformed mom,

Still, a faith that is tenuous at best,
But don't tell uni that,
I have my slips in those moments of fear,
My life is not exact-

-ly what I want,
Still, what does it owe me?
Perhaps if I became an orthodox,
I'd be free of responsibility.

Three Rulings from the U.S. Supreme Court

Who cares who someone loves?

What, I'm oblivious?
There are people with truth others don't have,
Afraid of god's justice?

What about those who can't afford college,
But still need a degree,
Else they can't get a job to pay school debt,
Which is like a glitch in an R.P.G.?

If they can get into college at all,
Depending on their skin,
For now there's no protection from racists-
I mean, from the system.

But who am I?
Just another white dude,
Feeling nervous writing this down,
Lest my own opinions get me eschewed.

The Mind's I

Sometimes I get anxious,
What's my mind telling me,
Is there is something I am not getting,
That I am missing,

It doesn't matter if I never know,
It doesn't expect that,
I just have to try to align myself,
With how it's advising me to act,

Which it don't do with any words, per se,
Think more telepathy,
If I had a mind of my own plus it,
And I just let it free,

That is scary,
To have faith in your gut,
And your ability to figure out,
The best course to take when you're in a rut.

To The Altruistic

How do you navigate,
Through this sea of people,
All of whom are seeking their own rewards,
From priveleged to feable?

From those who appear they have all they need,
Whether they're rich or poor,
The chronically unlucky to the blessed,
Most believe that they are deserving more,

It's like macro and micro, yin and yang,
Rowdy Piper and Hulk,
Asked to apportion your wealth to the world,
We would all keep the bulk.

You disagree?
You're diff´rent from Bill Gates?
I like to think about me that way, too-
Oops, gotta get to work or I´ll be late!

Happy Father's Day!

Yes, it is father's day,
You can do what you want,
Don't know who set it up or what they meant,
Don't think they questioned Kant,

For there was no imperative for this,
But I'll take what I can,
A time for self-reflection's never bad,
Unless you realize you're one dimension,

But I can't say I have any regrets,
Or else, someone might hear,
J.K., if I had to do all again,
I'd without any fear,

For all is good,
Fact, better than ever,
If one tweak to my life might change today,
I would stop you from touching the lever.

The Safe Route

Sometimes I remember,
And sometimes I forget,
When I let myself be carried away,
It is the best time, yet,

One serendipidous thing after next,
Starts happening to me,
With no foreseeable end, if I want,
Still, fear keeps me away from ecstacy,

For it might be the case that faith in life's,
Rewarded with success,
A theory that must be proved constantly,
Until you're left with less,

Or maybe more,
But is it worth the risk?
Safely balance on a low-strung tightrope,
Happy never to experience bliss.

What Are We Striving For?

Now I'm reading Bostrom,
Superintelligence,
I am past the history of A.I.,
Or it's non-existence,

So far it appears there is a threshold,
That must be overcome,
The capacity to learn and discern,
To reach superhuman computation,

Which we may not have the computers for,
If we even knew how,
The brain's configured to make what we've made,
To get where we're at now,

If that's the goal,
What have we done so far,
With th'intelligence we're trying to Ape,
Feels like we may be aiming for sub-par.

While I Wait

I'm barely connected,
Almost forgot this line,
These days if I can't write my train of thought,
I'm sounding like I whine,

When, let's be honest, that's all that I do,
Then say something like this,
"Oh boy, I didn't know I'd have this chance,
To show you that I am conscientious,

Of, let's be honest, that's all that I do,
P'haps I should have said this,
"I'm being silly, but it's hard to tell,
Without context, unless,

You've read other,
Opinions just like this,"
But I didn't and I have lost the train,
Which, let's face it, should have been hard to miss."

The Need for the Debt Ceiling

Wish someone could tell me,
What the debt ceiling means,
Other than an arbitrary number,
From nineteen seventeen,

When printing a dollar meant there was gold,
Ready to back it up,
That rule came and went a few times since then,
But not since the ceiling debt did erupt

Debt in the first place is only as strong,
As the dollar remains,
The U.S. gold vault could be filled with moths,
Still, backed by fighter planes.

What is my point?
Maybe there isn't one,
Either things are exactly as they seem,
Or bound only by imagination.

I'm Not Complaining

As summer looms closer,
Along with my last breath,
Like so many other middle-class men,
I am grappling with death,

When I should be telling myself instead,
'You are not middle class',
Maybe your parents clawed their way to it,
But the world has changed and it's missed your grasp,

You will find out in the coming summers,
And the climbing degrees,
Even those who are now legit ok,
No value in money,

Except for those,
With so much, it's like air,
They breathe it in, inside protective domes,
Then scoff at those who say the world's not fair.

Why A.I. Should Be Regulated

Let's talk about A.I.,
It is not writing this,
Or has it read ev'ry one of my Waths,
And said, 'they'll think it's his"?

No, I am not going to get meta,
I have too much to say,
The question is could it follow my thoughts,
Then tell me what I'll be thinking one day?

Help me find the path most satisfying,
Based on my hopes and fears,
I'd be uploading it my brain right now,
If it could erase tears,

Then find my bliss,
Don't tell the government,
There's only room for one system 'round here,
And, boy, universal wealth isn't it.

Control Your Loved Ones

What's making you upset,
About where your life's at,
The loneliness from loved ones who decide,
They will unhang their hat,

Walk out the door and explore a new road,
That will not pass by you,
Should not be channelled at those not so hurt,
Who enjoy the status you feel you're due,

Instead try being happy they're happy,
Okay, that is a lot,
Especially, if you had it your way,
They'd not get what they sought,

Which is freedom,
To do just as they please,
Why can't they see your chosen path for them,
Would make you, who they should love, the most pleased?

You Can Live Forever

As we all get older,
Like in the last second,
Not the one that you passed before you read this,
The one 'round the next bend,

Which if we always keep it in its place,
Will, yes, never arrive,
I tell you it is as easy as that,
The caveat's you keep yourself alive

Otherwise the whole system falls apart,
Then you will never see,
An eternity in which you become,
All the things you can be,

That's ev'rything,
Of course, it's not just time,
This all assumes you'll try to do something,
Not just sit on your ass and wait to die

Game Two

It has been quite a day,
And the days in between,
Sometimes I wonder if a normal life's,
Anything someone's seen,

Or if it's worth it even having one,
Given the time we've got,
Think of those you know having a good time,
I bet you'd trade them for your sorry lot,

No offence, I'm sure you have got it made,
Nice house, a job, and phone,
I hope coworkers give you accolades,
Then you get more at home,

You deserve it,
You have made it this far,
Trying to concentrate as you write this,
Killing time inside of a loud sports bar.