Grow Up

You want to know something?
I never thought myself,
Was anyone other than who I am,
Forget anyone else,

But there's a reason we live together,
I mean humanity,
We're only someone if there's someone else,
We can imagine looking back at me,

Seeing the person that I know I am,
I mean, it's obvious,
If they don't appreciate what I bring,
Well, they can just get lost-

Not everyone!
Someone must see the truth,
Not understanding that they're people too,
A flaw we all should leave behind with youth.

Self-Self-Exploitation

I am taking a break,
"Hmmph, from what?" you snicker,
I admit I don't have to wash my hands,
Thanks to an employer,

I sometimes like to think of me as boss,
And me as employee,
So that I will have a lot of practice,
Should I become one eventually,

"You must exercise mutual respect,
Not easy for either,
You take the job home with you ev'ry day,
You eat it for dinner."

But that's ok,
I'm lucky, brah,
My life has more meaning because of it,
So what if I am breaking 'labour laws'.

Just Give Up Now

I just used my finger,
To log on to this blog,
Not tapping my password with one digit,
Don't diss my wherewithal,

Typing was my highest mark in high school,
Do not diss that, either,
All's to say this thing knows my finger print,
Without fight it got me to surrender,

Saying something about security,
But who d'I have to fear?
Some person wanting to co-opt my site,
Or the machine creep here,

Whose got my print?
Or is it on the web?! At least ancestry's keeping my spit safe,
It's the last trusted corporation left.

Late At Night

Where is self-confidence,
What do I have to pay?
Not the kind you can talk to a stranger,
But knowing what to say,

Seeing everything in front of you,
Knowing what people want,
Seeing their motivations and their fears,
More than that, knowing what it is you want,

I'm starting to think there's a lot of you,
I wasn't in the game,
Just wishing that being me was enough,
While you just gained and gained.

It's my time now,
I mean, I know no more,
I just think that it's finally my time,
To see the reason for what came before.

Oh Well

Is there any value,
In understanding things,
In a way that others can understand,
That once were mysteries,

Which you think could be used to help others,
Helping people connect,
Showing them how to make things fair for all,
Else, you'd not have wasted your intellect,

That then's used to give one an advantage,
(Not sure why I'm surprised),
Because despite what we always hope for,
Humans are not nice guys?

'Course you could say,
There is still a chance, yet,
Just like the sun might not rise tomorrow,
I am sure not going to take that bet.

Brain Fog

I don't know what to say,
My head is all foggy,
I'm trying to lean into this new state,
Than sweeping it away,

We are born into this world as we are,
We've no sway over that,
Then as we grow we are just what we are,
Doesn't matter what we were aiming at,

So here I sit wondering what is next,
Changes or all the same,
Either way, I will be just who I am,
Really, it's all the same,

Except this thought,
Then the one that follows,
No matter where you are, that's where you are,
And where that is nobody really knows.

Just Do You

Some folks say it's bad luck,
To acknowledge your wins,
Live life without any expectations,
Desiring is a sin,

That is punished by never succeeding,
Even when you succeed,
For what you desire isn't the thing,
But the impossible to fulfill need,

But surely one can straddle both sides, no?
Gratefulness and desire,
One cannot exist without the other,
Nor should one be higher,

You need balance,
I'm sure you heard that, too,
Of course one might prefer to switch extremes,
Or attain an equal mix of the two.

Can't Be Mad At What You Don't Want

Despite the fears you have,
Sometimes you must believe,
So a thing has no chance of existing,
In the world you perceive,

It's nothing to do with it being wrong,
It is just wrong for you,
If you want to live in a world you want,
Not letting wrong be's the least you can do,

When you don't, you give part of life away,
The only one you got,
Which is fine if you know what you're giving,
Assuming you were taught,

See, there's the rub,
We can't do it ourselves,
There is no world without other people,
E'en when you are totally by yourself.

Why A.I.

A documentary,
AlphaGo is its name,
In two thousand, sixteen Google's DeepMind,
Won humanity's game,

Built of vast options and intuition,
No computer could fake,
Chess was impressive but just proved one thing,
The best computing could computers make,

But eighteen world Go champyan Lee Sedol,
Could ne'er lose to A.I.
For DeepMind was just that, and you know what?
Well, in Go, there's no tie.

But here's the thing,
Once Lee got over loss,
It turns out his game got better than if,
He never played DeepMind and never lost.

Now

I am all alone now,
Though someone else is here.
Some'd say this is a weird situation,
Well, maybe that's just fear,

Speaking if which, that's something to avoid,
If you've had quite enough,
Fear is just one of many ways to see,
You must see more to know what's truly up,

Like do you like to do or not to do?
Yes, that is the question,
It's not that ev'rything's been said before,
It's what, where, who, and when.

What do you know?
I bet you know a lot,
If only we cared 'bout what people know,
Maybe the world wouldn't be so fucked up.

The Way

I can't be safe no more,
I've realized it's not safe,
It's got to do with my mid-heaven sign,
According to my wife,

It's something I've always been aware of,
Always riding the line,
Because, you know what, sometimes safe is good,
You can literally die crossing lines,

The trick is knowing which ones are okay,
Oh, and not testing fate,
If you're not sure, err on the side of no,
Good things to those who wait,

Not those who die,
They may be remembered,
Bet you don't know what happens when you die,
Don't find out until you're old and tenured.

It's a Sign

My water is rising,
My sun is water, too,
I am floating in air far above earth,
The fires, quite a view,

To the dark side I fly, not the first one,
Still, it's colder than hell,
The stars, the stars, told me where will I go,
Before I promptly fell,

Savor this moment between two nothings,
It is all that exists,
The regrets for time wasted is precious,
When understood like this.

Now let us sink,
Back down and then forget,
This boat I send off for others to find,
Though, I've not found one from others, as yet.

Preparing for Battle

I know I can do this,
The question is, will I?
Is it possible it is hit and miss,
If I'll conquer or die?

I have to believe that I have control,
No, I have to just know,
For if it's in my power to succeed,
Not believing is not the way to go,

Succeeding means you are ready to fail,
There must be risk to win,
Ensuring your odds by surrendering,
Your self to nature's whim.

It's on your side,
If you are on its, too,
Accept the gift of pure uncertainty,
Wrapped in the pleasure of presenting you.

It's Time

It's coming together,
If I just let it be,
Don't get excited and try tinkering,
'sif I've sagacity,

Getting in the way of the universe,
Giving me a leg up,
The smallest effort of it thwarted by,
Me paying my two cents for a new rut,

Then asking why the universe don't care,
To help a brother out,
Give me a cent for each two cents I've lost,
And I'd be rich, no doubt,

You do the math,
Look back over the years,
How many times did you get in your way,
Because you couldn't let go of your fears?

The Philosopher's Bowl

This is what I have meant,
I hope you see it now,
Even though some things might seem very weird,
It's accepted some how,

Unless it falls outside propriety,
Then it is really weird,
Don't ask me how to tell which one is which,
Only action reveal what's fine and feared,

Like, go ahead and buy a whole island,
Do whatever you want,
But, god forbid that's all the cash you got,
When the cops want a lot,

And you are broke,
Oh boy, that's the real crime,
Having money proves you have got the stuff,
When you've done something wrong to pay the fine.

Get Ready

This might be the lowest,
In relation to age,
That in retrospect I'll have found myself,
When I am gone and dead,

My life will seem like an epic journey,
This being the nadir,
Then through a series chance encounters,
My opportunity's finally here,

Yes luck is ninety percent readiness,
But something's got to come,
Detached from any effort on your side,
To make the connection,

To succeeding,
Plus a firmly blind eye,
To those for whom luck has been elusive,
Who've been as ready for it as have I.

Youth Wasted

Each week is different,
And closer to your death,
You look back on ones that were not as good,
P'haps you were smoking meth,

Or not succeeding at something you tried,
You thought was your mission,
Then you fail worse in the week after that,
You believe that your peak has come and gone,

Distraction all around you doesn't help,
You are the cause of it,
If you knew what you actually want,
Nothing could inhibit,

Your direction,
Focused and confident,
You would need to be thirty years younger,
Not to accept this basic axiom.

This Isn't Me

Sometimes you must delay,
Something you have to do,
So you do not feel like you owe the world,
Or that the world owns you,

To remember that ev'rything you see,
Is there for no reason,
Even though people try to tell you that,
Like they know ev'rything under the sun,

But to know it all you must know it all,
Though I can't know for sure,
There isn't anyone alive or dead,
That's e'er had that power.

Can I say that?
It's feeling blasphemous,
If I know this world, and believe I do,
I better keep this post anonymous.

The American Dream

The American dream,
It is just as it sounds,
Propped up by a very few who make it,
To keep the dream around,

I guess it's not bad living in a dream,
If you never awake,
If hunger doesn't annihilate sleep,
Or debt, your home and security take,

Or plug yourself into a computer,
That hides all of those things,
You are wasting away but don't know it,
Wait, that is happening,

The dream's here now,
What was I worried 'bout?
Better a short, blissful, and easy life,
Than one of struggle, unfairness, and doubt.

Delayed Thought

I don't have time for this,
No time to think things through,
To avoid thinking back to things I say,
In this moment with you,

I need to work on who I want to be,
Truly, it's about time,
Even if that means being who I've been,
Letting circumstances be what defines,

What it means to be who it is I am.
It's worked for me so far?
It's a testament to my self knowledge,
That I'm not really sure.

This is my life
Either by faith or fear,
With no concrete consequence either way,
Always hoping that this could be the year.

Survive

What have you done in life,
When you look back on it,
Thinking through the decisions that you made,
And what you've not done yet,

Those times you were presented with a choice,
Did you take time to think,
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven steps out,
From the possible consequences brink,

Or did you put faith in some kind of fate,
You thought was on your side,
Because you lived life without strategy,
Like it's some kind of ride,

Which it respects,
It you personified,
While you waste time thinking what could have been,
If you could have stomached knowing you'd like.

Too Bad, So Sad

So I didn't get it,
Worse things have happened, no?
People have died, bombs dropped, houses destroyed,
Someone has spoiled the end,

The key is not to hold on to the past,r> Except as a lesson,
What to do, not to do, to do next time,
Know societal configurations,

Oh sure, take some time to commisserate,
We all need catharsis,
Even draw it out for a couple days,
If you think you'll exist,

For long enough,
Tomorrow's not ensured,
In your final moments, you think you'll wish,
Your indignation with the world endured?

Don't Bother Reading This

I have nothing to say,
So, let me start right now,
I do think I have it all figured out,
I only don't know how,

I successfully got myself this far,
That is, I'm still alive,
Despite that we're a system made of things,
Individually can't be revived,

I mean, what keeps all our parts together,
Don't tell me that it's god,
You may's well tell me it is a fairy,
That assembled this bod,

Until I see,
How that matters to me,
Right now, as I navigate labrynth,
That brings death to all who manage leaving.

Keeping the Peace

Tonight I've a mission,
Not to be Scorpio,
To refrain from caring about affronts,
To my intense ego,

Which does not care to socialize with those,
Who behave with bad faith,
My instinct is to let them understand,
That the consequences are mine to make,

Instead I must put on a mask that says,
I don't see anything,
That is the only possible reason,
That they'd still be living.

I'll wear my horn!
Hanging from a gold chain,
Its presence will keep me safe from the truth,
Which will only lead to regret and pain.

Starting Off Well

I've been told not to hope,
Lest I jinx my chances,
Like the universe don't like to be led,
When you and she dances,

I cannot say that I blame her for that,
It's her party ain't it?
Then again, the best parties I've been to,
Were open to a change to the event,

What is wrong with experimentation,
Trying to mold futures,
Surely there have been people with success,
That hopefully nudged her!

We live once, right?
So, my question is this:
Why do I feel better failing at hopes,
Than succeeding while I'm oblivious?

The Danger of New Lives

Ev'rything is changing,
But, can I change also?
A life I never thought that I could have,
Is one I'll never know,

There are people I never thought I'd meet,
Saying hello to me,
They may as well be saying gobbly goop,
For all I know what they honestly mean,

You know that guy you know you'd never trust,
Because you can see him,
Juxtaposed to what is all familiar,
To what has always been?

Well now I'm blind,
I can't let myself go,
In time I may learn how to navigate,
If I don't succumb to an unknown foe.

Making It Worthy

Let us get things started,
So much time on our hands,
Idleness makes a dang'rous companion,
When you do not have plans,

When there's nothing you would like doing more,
Than watch the next Picard,
Even if it gives important lessons,
You can apply when you are not so bored,

Thinking about all you could be doing,
In the time passing by,
That you will never get use again,
Before you, ahem, die.

That made me laugh,
I guess my work is done,
If I do nothing else again today,
This five minutes has been my redemption.

No Turning Back

Don't know what to tell you,
Thought you knew who I was,
We have spent so many years together,
We were barely an us,

Yet, apparently, I was incorrect,
Your perception of me,
Was someone I didn't know existed,
Within the bounds of our episteme,

Perhaps if you had said something before,
When the gap was less wide,
Twixt how you want me to be and who I'm,
Instead of having lied,

We'd still be friends,
That's what I thought we were,
I've been living in a world that's not there,
The real one's not one I wish to conjure

Feel Better

Speed isn't relative,
Success is in your mind,
If you need proof any of that is true,
Take a look at my life,

Forget that, try taking a look at yours,
Not too fast, or you'll fail,
You might have what ev'ryone thinks you want,

We know one only want what's not for sale, 

Ush'lly because we don't have the money, 

Time, brain, or confidence, 

The yellow brick road requires all of these, 

Run by A.I. agents,

You'll be alright,
The bible told me so,
Death of his kids, pain, and judgemental friends,
Was only god playing around with Job.

Knowing

Why's it any diff'rent,
Doing something at work,
When all of a sudden things fall in place,
During a phase you've shirked,

Compared to the time you showed up someplace,
When fate conspired magic?
Everyone called it coincidence,
In essence, such things are no different.

The trick is living as if they're the same,
Whether luck or spirits,
Choosing a path helps you to understand,
It doesn't matter which,

They're all the same,
But knowing that's wisdom,
Which you only learn through experience.
I'm sure I will one day learn this again.

Waiting

I am feeling nauseous,
Drinking alone, late night,
He told me they were going to be here,
I chose to take the night,

All around me are sad stories swirling,
Not uttered for my ears,
But for those attached to the ones speaking,
No one even noticing I am here,

My mind is game but my body's fading,
I'm old but still living,
The music's from when I was in hogh school,
Too shit for listening-

Wait, is that them?!
No, I guess they will text,
Maybe I will be here when they get here,
I just want to be wondering what's next.

Gotta Go

I just feel like writing,
I have nothing to say,
Sometimes I have a burning in my hear,
Of self-loathing and shame,

For, of all things, not being productive,
As if what is outside,
Doesn't mean something different to you,
Than that which you cannot see with your eyes,

Even now I feel like I'm wasting time,
Procrastinator's curse?
Is it for that, that I've not anything,
But the moths in my purse?

I'm better now,
I needed distraction,
Action to convince myself I work hard,
Something real to upchuck my inside in.

Another Loss

You have the right to cry,
For friendships you have lost,
What do we have to tell us we're human,
Than other people's thoughts,

Coupled with those that come out of our mouths,
Forging real'ty new,
Proving that despite all that we might face,
Together there's nothing we can't get through,

That there's no counter ideology,
That you can't justify?
No, with friends anything is possible,
Until they leave or die,

So, cry away,
'Til someone new appears,
Don't begrudge time spent with those who are gone,
May you live so long they're measured in years.

Troubador

Can bad luck portend good?
I've only that hope left,
Positivity comes in many forms,
But that's not true for debt,

You can do all the right thing for yourself,
At least, what you think's right,
Then measure success by a different guage,
Because value is determined by might,

You have no control over what you do,
Sorry, you disagree?
I wish I could live your reality,
Despite what I can see,

Then die happy,
Oh boy, that's depressing!
Yet somehow I'm comforted by these thoughts,
I want to pick up my guitar and sing.

And So It Begins

Tomorrow is the start,
Of what never began,
That this mind thought would be decades ago,
Encased in a young man,

When everything seemed much easier,
The avenues endless,
Laughing while others followed just one route,
Now too far away to share their riches,

With knees aching and expectations high,
More road than life allows,
Perhaps this is where he was always meant,
To live his final hours,

Not quite alone,
No, it's not been so bad,
Love, shelter, art, and friends, just no money,
The one thing he never thought he'd not have.

My Own Worst Enemy

I am getting antsy,
I need something to do,
At this point I don't care what it might be,
As long as I'm with you,

Once upon a time it was about cash,
Sometimes about success,
For me neither has come from wanting them,
Nor have they e'er come from wanting them less,

Nor have I ever really felt this good,
It must be a good sign,
For what I wouldn't dare hazard to guess,
Lest I am undermined,

I think to much,
It affects many things,
While I think too little about topics,
That would probably yield me ev'rything!

To Love

What is this life about?
I am sure, but not sure,
My gut tells me that to follow my gut,
Is the path the most pure,

It is easy to step out of your mind,
Look down upon this world,
Imagine there is nothing but yourself,
Like irritants that produces a pearl,

Then once you have established your self-worth,
Take in your surroundings,
For they are now something outside of you,
That's what's called maturing,

But you're not done,
Now you have to discern,
What adds to your life and what takes away,
This is the secret we all try to learn.

Here for a Short Time

I'm an existent'list,
Perception is my thing,
It's all about how I feel this moment,
Regardless of feelings,

No matter how much money's in the bank,
How much of it's not mine,
What part of it is what I must pay back,
With insufficient income all the time,

Even when I think nothing's going right,
Despite how hard I try,
Like luck is real and likes me not at all,
I'm plunged into the night,

But not for long,
Reality will lose,
I'm determined to leave this world happy,
Defeat to life's a fate worse than the noose.

First Snow Day

Sister snow came today,
The world is different,
More difficult to get out of your bed,
When the sun's always set,

Go out! For the reality you know's still there,
Beneath the bitter cold,
If we are being completely honest,
I'm some circumstances, that is called bold,

When she says things like that you shake your head,
She knows what she's doing,
She admitted it openly before,
To get your sympathy,

And she got it,
If means more than your pride,
Your rather be dragged on stones by a horse,
Than betray what you feel on the inside.<\blockquote>

Head in the Clouds

Cloudiness is heaven,
Another world on earth,
Just gone enough to be away from here,
Present enough for mirth,

Able to forget ev'rything that's wrong,
So very much, indeed,
While in the present no one's asking you,
To be an informant for the police,

The future's open like you've just been born,
Rich, white, and years ago,
The brain is over-rated's what I say,
There's nothing left to know,

Except for prompts,
Then, only if you've means,
If not, then best you also be cloudy,
Because there's nothing for you to be seen.

You Know

You'll do what you want to,
No matter what it is,
Even if it's the last thing that you want.
That sound mysterious?

It's like when someone tells you what God wants,
Guess what, They told you, too,
'smuch as anyone can tell you something,
There's nobody can tell you what to do,

You live alone, die alone, there's no one,
As far as you can know,
Sure, you can tell me that I'm full of shit,
That is just how things go,

At least, so far,
Tomorrow hasn't come,
When it does I hope that I wake up rich,
God knows your mind in Capitalism.

It's Me

Life has its ups and downs,
No matter who y'all're,
It doesn't mean that we are all the same,
Don't get it twisted, pal,

You ever hear of silver spoons in mouths?
Believe me, it's a thing,
Not something I have known personally,
I am obviously less deserving,

I don't have the pedigree, that's on me,
I didn't get born, right,
If I only worked harder before birth,
I would have earned the right,

To have my due,
Which is more than I need,
That would prove my worth to be in this world,
Without worrying about my next feed,

What Is It Good For?

Other lives are stories,
Seen from your perspective,
Usually devoid of the problems,
With which you always live,

Whether thoughts of the past or the future,
There's nothing that's perfect,
Except for everyone else you see,
Trotting around completely unwrecked,

Because that is the make-up of all lives,
Ask anyone you know,
Outside of yourself, ev'rything's ideal,
That's what the outside's for.

So stop thinking,
That's it, just stop, okay?
You'll start to think there is a better world,
That got us in this mess in the first place.

Pickle Pong

Here's the thing 'bout ping pong,
Or anything, really,
If you do not keep your eye on the ball,
You've lost reality,

The way I lost this computer's 'F' key,
I had it in my hand,
I flinched, it flew, I heard it tumble down,
Through the grate on the floor, I understand,

It may's well have been reported to me,
For all I really know,
Like the news, I put the facts together,
At least, that's my M.O.

What? It's not yours?
Maybe think about it,
How many things have you actu'lly seen, That's part of the world in which you exist?

How Do We Know?

Sure, the truth is fluid,
If you ignore the facts,
Even then, when did we e'er trust our eyes,
The moment luck retracts?

Even then, we see what we want to see,
It is compulsory,
You e'er shut your eyes when you didn't want?
No one can keep you from catastrophe.

Even then, you feel what's right and what's not,
Tucker says that is God,
Proof that truth is rooted in one's beliefs,
Though he would say it's not,

It's self-lying,
Of course, how could he know?
Can't believe I'm free to do what I want,
Even then I'm wond'ring if it's all show.

Hume Or

It is quite possible,
That all the things you see,
That make you shake your head like they're not real,
Actually might be.

Like how're they diff'rent from what you believe,
In actuality?
Do you have more proof of their existence,
Or did you pick your fav'rite make-believe?

'Cause I have to tell you, I have my doubts,
Like any good skeptic,
Then I ask myself what would Bowie do,
And I get suffragette.

Wait, wrong David,
Well, you know what I mean,
As sure as you are about what is real,
I feel the same 'bout what you think's obscene.

A Week of Dreams

This week's just beginning,
My hopes were ten miles high,
With each day's passing it slowly descends,
As the world passes by,

Does everyone I see feel like me,
Do they even exist?
I swear if I have that thought one more time,
I'll put a hole in that wall with my fist,

That will show the world who's there and who's not,
Then again, what's it prove?
The pain I feel'll be felt by me alone,
With no one there to soothe.

Another sleep,
See what tomorrow brings,
If I'm still here come friday afteroon,
I'm sure come Monday I'll be re-hoping.

Not To Be Misunderstood

Something's short-circuited,
Ended some connections,
To allow some insulated thinking,
In different regions,

They will come back on-line when it is time,
When duty demands it,
They'll reaquaint and maybe find new ways,
To understand the world as one unit,

Maybe they'll be able to put in words,
For all to understand,
The need for peace and love to overcome,
The wars between humans,

Onset by fear,
The irony, of course,
Is that we are the same, at least we think,
If we're honest with the truth in our core.

The Cure to Jinxing

You may find that sometimes,
Things start going your way,
Leading you down a path towards your dreams,
In ways you daren't say,

Because you fear that you might jinx it all,
For all I know, you're right,
But then I think what would dear Pascal say,
When I wager the future's not in sight,

I suspect that since anything might pass,
All you have's the present,
Which is the only place dreams can exist,
To an eager student,

Of perception,
That's all we ever have,
Don't worry about jinxing the future,
Live by walking your ideal future's path.

Synchronous Events

What's synchronicity?
Look at the ev'ryday,
The connections between disparate facts,
To something you did say,

In heart or mind or through your vocal chords,
(You know it's all the same),
Then ask which is the cause of the other,
Better yet, whether neither's a better name,

What's in no dispute is they both exist,
One's thought, the other's not,
It is not like either knows anything,
Their just around a lot,

The connections,
There's nothing without these,
Just jumbles of perceptions floating 'round,
That's the essence of synchronicity.

Staying Alive

Times, they are a'changin',
Me? I don't think that much,
May there be a confluence twixt my goals,
And the world's needs, as such,

It's been such a long time since I was born,
Longer than time, the thing,
It would be the same if I was younger,
Nothing exists that's not in my being,

That being said, I do believe in you,
How else could I get by?
Without an audience there'd be no point,
I'm the concept of "die".

I took a turn?
What else do you expect?
Without these words would I even exist?
I'll tell you what, not on the world wide web.

The Wath's Origin

I write ev'ryday now,
Okay, maybe not here,
If it makes it better, it's not the same,
To this, there is no peer,

I still hear the tune of the song I wrote,
This meter is based on,
Though in the day it had far less rules,
But I don't think any less emotion,

I don't think I think any different,
Not sure that's a good thing!
I've new words to describe reality,
And no one's listening,

Ah, that's alright,
Just like the good old days,
When I would sing new words to the themesong,
Each week on my show that aired on Wednesdays.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Mom

My mom was born, today,
Don't steal my iden'ty!
I don't think about her every day,
Since life had set her free,

But I don't e'er think of myself either,
Okay, that is a lie,
But so far as my mom is inside me,
In many respects, she has yet to die,

She is as much a part of what I do,
'sany other aspect,
Of what makes me, not because I am weird,
It's just what you'd expect,

From kindred souls,
We were so much alike,
Part of my motivation is to do,
What she always wanted, but couldn't quite.

Ear Worms

I am losing the tune,
It will come back, I'm sure,
Because it's come back ev'ry other time,
The past proves the future,

Just like the ends e'er justifies the means,
It's all about outcomes,
If it did worked once, then try it again,
You can't be blamed for god's constitution,

But you can try to understand others,
Even those you don't like,
That's the sticky point for all of the sides,
Belief in their own rights.

Who'm I to say?
An ear worm's in my brain,
Maybe I'm dancing to a diff'rent song,
Music is good and pure, I can't abstain.

Incremental Change

I am reading a book,
Called Atomic Habits,
James Clear clearly understands perception,
Just like David Hume did,

Everything we know's based on habit,
Based on experience,
So if you want to change your circumstance,
You have to start by adjusting your lens,

Which will then help you adjust your habits,
To attain what you want,
Which should be an adjusted perception
Just do not wake up Kant,

He'll drag you back,
Where things are what they are,
Nothing worse than an answer to it all,
Hume would have said, 'throw his books on the fire!'

What I Lack

I try to write lyrics,
For tunes other than this,
I swear it's like I've never written words,
That aren't serious,

Every thought has to be the best one,
Not like what I do here,
Which is ten thousand times better than that,
Because here I am able not to care,

There's something special in the circumspect,
When there's nothing to lose,
But trying to say something to a tune,
Is like lighting a fuse,

You don't want to,
There is no turning back,
While here I know I am never finished,
Writing lyrics for lyrics sake I lack.

What Life Should Be

Life should be a jumble,
Of surprise and regret,
Without letting either last very long,
In fact, let me suggest,

You treat each moment like a gift from god,
No matter what it brings,
Strike forth with optimism and pure heart,
How could such a tack not be rewarding?

Don't worry about what others might think,
You'll never really know,
I've been yelled at and beaten to the ground,
By admiring fellows,

Who were afraid,
Of the love that I brought,
Wishing for peace is beyond god's power,
Your's to make the world what you want is not.

I Don't Know Myself

I'll take my own advice,
Use this to meditate,
On who I am and who I want to be,
Though the time may seem late,

You know those things you think of from the past,
The cringe moments of life,
That tell you what you don't want to repeat,
Filling your shoulders with pain like a knife.

Saying how you don't want the world to be,
Though you created it?
Are those rules something that you are born with,
Or that you inherit?

Does it matter?
The rules are never bad,
No one ever regretted being good,
Even when it ended making them sad.

Don't Ask Why

Is the power of thought,
Enough to change your life?
I've been engaged in manifestation,
For the last twenty nights.

To be honest it's hard to figure out,
The cause and the effect,
For despite Hume's words three humdred years hence, They are not sufficiently explained, yet,

I feel as if things are going my way,
But does it matter why?
A cause only's good as its last effect,
Strategy is a lie,

But important!
We can't help think this way,
Hence the accolades for the successful,
Reserving for the failures or distain.

Every Word Counts

I don't have time for this,
Or anything, you know,
I just learned you won't know when you will die,
It could be tomorrow,

Yet here we are worrying about the laws,
That tell us what to do,
Well, I guess most of them say what to not,
I think they all should be that way, don't you?

Though I suppose it's just how it's written,
Just like holding a tool,
You must not, not pay your income taxes,
My god, I'm such a fool,

Or should not be,
I'm twisted into curls,
While I could be gone in the next minute,
I don't what these to be my final words!

Who We Are

We are part of space,
Those NASA images,
Colours and patterns we cant understand,
For we live in cages,

We were not put there by anybody,
Imagine you're a dog,
I ask you to explain mathematics,
You may as well just start fucking a log,

It's not that human beings are stupid,
Gosh, look at Charles Babbage,
His only constraint was technology,
That is not his baggage,

It's time owns that,
No one escapes the start,
Not even the aliens that are us,
Who grew us in a petri dish for parts.

Time Explained

Today was a good day,
As yesterday was, too,
Maybe not in the moment or after,
But, that was much too soon,

Everyone knows that time's personal,
The past changes with time,
You ne'er know everything 'bout something,
What you know changes the passing of time.

So does the future 'cause it has a past,
That's how you can see it,
Unless there's a path to a place to trace,
It's not on your planet.

What do I know?
Should I be confident?!
P'haps I should go with the Proverbyal flow,
There's no proof for any tack in the end.

Happy Dominion Day

Happy Dominion Day,
That's how it once was known,
Celebrating being free of England,
Still loyal to the Crown,

But autonomous in every way,
Well, 'least the country is,
Those inside it, well depends who you are,
All countries judge you by your origins,

Now we all celebrate Canada day,
Well, the government does,
Those inside it respond in diff'ring ways,
Often depending on their origins,

We have a lot to be proud of, you know,
Universal healthcare,
Basic respect for individuals,
Regardless of from where,

Or what they think,
In both those things I'm proud,
Rather grateful, it should be a given,
But life's made up of silence versus loud.

Charging My Sigil

Draw a three by three grid,
So each line sums fifteen,
A magic square to the tune of Saturn,
Links you to the unseen,

The numbers derived from Hebrew letters,
Cabalistic for sure,
Now determine your sigil from a word,
Perseverance transformed into numbers,

Mine are seven, one, four, nine, five, and three,
I draw them on the grid,
Then on my arm, from my love's twin tatto,
With marker, I trace it.

Last, I charge it,
By writing down this Wath,
After twenty minutes meditation,
The spell is cast, now I can sit and watch.

Contentment

What should I be doing,
If not what gives me joy,
When I've trained myself to embrace with love,
Ev'rything I employ?

From lying here in this hammock writing,
Unload the dishwasher,
Help others with project management woes,
To living precar'ously and unsure,

Is this not what's taught to monks and the poor?
Be happy what you've got,
If all lived such, many would die hungry,
But sad, they would be not.

So, I'll count three,
Then we will all agree,
This world is perfect in every way,
And all are as happy as they can be.

A.I. - The Final Frontier?

There's a big difference,
Utilizing A.I.,
To run with an idea on its own,
And going for the ride,

If the former, you have built a black box,
Like a world of its own,
Made by itself, for itself, with no way,
Of understanding how the world was grown,

The latter give the opportunity,
Of seeing things be made,
In ways that you might never have thought of,
Absent of A.I.'s aid,

That's the real key,
There is nothing to fear,
Boldly go where no one has gone before,
Stretch your mind and seek the final frontier.

The Ghosts of Aid

I'm feeling much better,
It must have been the ghosts,
They visited me in my dreams last night,
Like they were coming home,

They may have lived a hundred years ago,
Perhaps some died here, too,
They stared at me when I told them to leave,
Old man, mid-aged woman, kid, and a few,

My partner said it right when I told her,
She's heard the boy before,
Ghosts come to you in dreams to help, she said.
Why not believe that lore?

Sounds good to me,
So I had a good day,
Did what I could, not what I'd rather not,
If they visit tonight, that's what I'll say.

Work Not Working

What if there was no work,
No, not unemployment,
But no concept of doing things for cash,
No wait for retirement,

Yeah, first world musings, I will give you that,
The system we live in,
Makes us forget it needn't be this way,
How come we're born into this condition?

I guess one could disconnect from it all,
There are people who do,
They find a patch no country cares to own,
They live like me and you,

I mean they breathe,
There's not much more to it,
Who works more to stay alive, homesteaders,
Or company men slaves to benefits.

Oh Little Birdie I Spy From My Hammock

Oh, you bird a'singin',
What is that you're saying?
A plane flew o'er and I couldn't hear you,
Or the neighbours praying.

I am just sitting here in my hammock,
It's my favorite place,
I can work, I can play, I can sleep, too,
While you sing to me with truth, life, and grace.

I see you 'mongst the leaves of my shade tree,
Oh! I just had a thought,
Would I could be as connected as you,
To whoever is god,

Maybe I am,
This is all there's to know,
Why grasp for something that's prob'ly not there?
My phone is buzzing and I have to go.

The Thing About Time

What is the deal with time?
I know it never stops,
Sometimes it's right and sometimes it is wrong,
If you wait long enough,

You will never know how much you have left,
For anything at all,
Unless you concentrate and slow it down,
Until its speed's infinitesimal,

All this while making sure that you are fed,
Without life there's no time,
Some people live more in a couple years,
Than some a whole lifetime,

Then there's the fear,
The future will be bad.
What's it cost you to think the opposite,
While pursuing what you wish that you had?

The Future Is Bright

I just got the Tower,
The second in two days,
Some would say that I have bad luck coming,
But you know what I say?

One human's trash is another's treasure,
Silver linings are real,
You cannot have the highs without the lows,
You play the cards that you get in the deal.

I suppose you could say Tarot's a bunk,
I'd never take that risk,
You have to assume that there's a meaning,
The opposite if it,

If it is bad,
If it's good, then all's good,
Even if you wake up to a world wrong,
Good cards mean all's unfolding as it should.

As I Wait

As I sit here waiting,
Sun beating on my face,
Looking down at my car, hoping to leave,
But that won't be the case,

My fate is entwined with when others wake,
Is this just wasted time?
I feel my cells pulled down by gravity,
My grave get's closer despite how I climb,

So why don't I just get my coat and leave?
A little thing called love,
That without which it is not worth living,
It's what we're all made of,

So here I sit,
Slowly wasting away,
An existence that may's well not exist,
Maybe an hour before anyone wakes.

The Holy Mountain

Despite all the bloodshed,
The Christian imagery,
Fantastical depictions of business,
Rape, shit, and alchemy,

There's an internal logic to be found,
That mirrors real'ty,
Until you realize that though they're absurd,
Any of those scenarios could be,

These intersubjective human structures,
Do not follow physics,
It's a trick of the mind that we believe,
These official antics,

Open your eyes,
Observe the camera,
Don't accept what's accepted for itself,
The Holy Mountain is a chimera.

What I'm Doing

I am getting closer,
To who I want to be,
Not closer than I've ever been before,
'Cause I've always been me,

What I mean is that I will never be,
What I hope to be soon,
For if I'm ever satisfied with me,
It will mean that I am at my own fune-

Eril. You see, where else can you do this?
Moments lost and fore'er,
Imagine you were put on this earth now,
With no existing cares,

What would you do?
I'll tell you what I would,
Exactly what I am doing right now,
Because I have always done what I should.

C'mon AI

What will you do, A.I.,
To make my life better?
Make food free and deliver it to me?
Well, you are halfway there.

Answer how much I really need to live,
To live without the fear,
My lifestyle can't be sustained forever,
Just in case the government disappears.

Show us humans how to distribute wealth,
So no one needs to work,
Make realities to satisfy needs,
That are considered quirks.

What's the matter?
You don't like to be told?!
I guess I can always comfort myself,
That by the time it matters, I'll be old.

The Four Types of Creativity

Here is what we must do,
With creativity,
Think not of it as just one type of thing,
But multiplicity,

There's what we know that we call artistic,
Forget reality,
But if you start with real, then build on top,
Then that is innovation happening,

But when you need to figure out voltage,
Well that's engineering,
Roll up all three for a bigger vision,
Production is your thing,

Like a movie,
Ev'ryone's creating,
No one knowing what the product will be,
Each contributing their reality.

The Real

Try sitting and waiting,
For what, I cannot tell,
We are all different, different tales,
Undecipherable,

We're all inhabitants of a black box,
We'll never see outside,
And I don't mean the ninety-nine percent,
No one knows more, e'en if you know they've lied,

They are only scheming inside the box,
But then, why the hell not,
Of all the folks with money and power,
You would know what you've got,

If that's poss'ble,
Could be we can't withstand,
The freedom to do whatever you want,
Even escaping from other humans.

Non-Sense

Sometimes you need changes,
To know what you would miss,
Like coming back to something after days,
And it looking like this,

You cannot escape the way that things are,
Even change isn't change,
Just a new look at the same real'ty,
Perspective flipping distance to your shame,

Like a song in your head playing while you,
Are thinking of your task,
No time to space them out or to focus.
What really should be asked?

How about this,
Pretend you have been told,
Does that make the world any easier?
If you said yes, then you're probably old.

Another One Down

I don't want to do this,
But I'm making myself,
If only because I came to this site,
Like purusing a shelf,

Not because the words myself and shelf rhyme,
Something much more profound,
Which I will never share because I know,
The secret to the truth is in the sound,

So here I am now over halfway done,
Counting the syllables,
Then when I post I will have added to,
This poetry that kills,

My ennui,
Like Neville's opposite,
Now here's the end and you know what I say,
If you want something then god go get it!

It's All Relative

Things aren't all that bad,
You can always say that,
If you accept that life is relative,
Then we can all look back,

Trace how we got to where we ended up,
Would it be true to say,
That even two identical people,
Must start their journeys from a diff'rent place?
Then so too can they never intersect,
Or follow the same path,
So is comparing yourself to others,
A self-deleting act.

That's a good thing! It's called wearing their shoes,
But though you can learn from mistakes they've made,
You can never learn from them what to do.

It's Happened!

Imagine tomorrow,
Like it was yesterday,
Something you'd wanted for quite a long time,
Happened to you that day,

You don't know yet if it will lead somewhere,
It's too early to tell,
Maybe if you work hard and enjoy it,
Word of you may just hit the rumour mill,

Or maybe it will lead nowhere at all,
There's nothing wrong with that,
Some people wait their lives for their big chance,
'Cause they live in the past,

But that's not you,
You e'er feel like you've won,
Maybe not all your dreams have come true, yet,
But that can't touch your imagination.

Getting Beyond

Am I just wasting time?
Well, if I have to ask...
I have so much in me I want to give,
But I lack the right mask,

Society demands that I work hard,
But not everyone.
If we all pitched in what we needed to,
From the undervalued to the Elons,

Maybe there would be less hardship around,
Certainly no more wars,
We'd all be so completely satisfied,
What would they be good for?

It's not nature,
Nature's whatever is,
Humans can recognize another way,
Greater than hubris and divisiveness.

How Else Could It Be?

I was asked when I feel,
The most anxiety,
Before or after I ingest something,
Makes no diff'rence to me,

I never do something with out thinking,
A blessing a curse,
Ne'er worry if I'm doing the right thing,
Do not know what it is like acting first,

I will never know if I missed something,
Actually, I do,
Doing anything means you're missing out,
But that I'll never rue,

I like my life,
Including what's not there,
It's nature that existence excludes things,
That's the only way it could make it fair.

Here's Why

Sometimes you get anxious,
With no idea why,
Could be something's eating you from inside,
Maybe your heart or mind,

Wants the other to know there's something wrong,
But since neither can speak,
While you know what they want but will not say,
So one of them makes that Cortisol leak,

Then you sit reading this and wonder why,
Well, let me tell you folks,
Sometimes a feeling is just a feeling,
With no reason to coax.

Oh, let's be real,
Everything's got a cause,
If anyone could tell you anything,
This could be a boilerplate contract clause.

Academia

Think I've said this before,
Sure I'll say it again,
In fact, I said it in the last two lines,
As only this human,

Who can't be anything other than what,
I am in this moment,
Which means, therefore, my brush never changes,
With which I paint past, future, and present,

It's the same brush with which you paint, yourself,
It's how it's held that counts,
There's an ontology to sink teeth in,
Depending how it sounds.

If it sounds good,
Maybe we're kindred souls,
Don't know any other way to put it,
This be the friction that ignites my coals.

Eventually, You May Prevail

There's a point in each life,
If you play your cards right,
When who you are will align perfectly,
With the world's morning light,

When everything that you've been saying,
For years and years and years,
As if you saw a truth no one else could,
Is what the population wants to hear,

It's not that you know anything special,
We all say the same thing
Filtered by the position of our minds,
Through those of other b'ings,

Like billyard balls,
Sometimes you are lucky,
Then too the best players will miss sometimes,
Does any of this sound like prophesy?

Right Meet Left

What cannot fall apart,
Cannot be in this world,
The chance that what there is might yet not be,
Is all I've ever heard,

Talked about among the critical minds,
Who write and educate,
Just sceptical enough to question all,
But still have faith in what they call innate,

Which some claim's simply denial of god,
Who wrote all the Truth down,
Denying that's proof of their denial,
Infidels was the sound,

Of what they're called,
They say that they don't care,
What people say, just not to their children,
Challenging what they think, no one should dare.

All Frameworks Must Conform

All the things that happen,
No matter the framework,
Must somehow track back to a higher law,
Else, what is it all worth?

You cannot have one thing happen one way,
With no explanation,
That does not need that thing to be at all,
That's also destroyed with its destruction,

Nor can you be sure anything is right,
Unless you just believe,
Dismissing frameworks that do not comply,
That frankly have to leave.

"Don't get me wrong,
I've naught 'gainst anyone!"
The anthem of those who when they've their way,
Are the first to enact conformation.

We All Need A Turning Point

Step outside of your head,
As if you're someone else,
See things you would never see otherwise,
Living just as yourself,

Recognize how insane it feels to you,
But stop 'fore it doesn't,
For then you're just becoming someone else,
For whom your life would be just as unhinged,

Now keep that other life inside your head,
Visit it ev'ry day,
To keep you grounded in the self you are,
There is no other way,

Th'alternative's,
You live one dimension,
What others say sounds like faulty logic,
And are beyond your imagination.

Transition Naught

I think the time has come,
To move off of this tack,
If I want to get to where I'm going,
I should duck and run back,

Not to where I was, but where I belong,
One never knows one's heart,
Until they leave the nest and understand,
That there's a world of which they're not a part,

Where people see thinks in different ways,
A truth best not forgot,
A symptom of the third wave of humans,
But the last wave it's not.

What will come next,
I'll have to think about,
Time's moving so fast it is hard to know,,
When it will be okay to paddle out.

Transition Twenty-One

I saw this video,
Of the effect of mood,
Under the microscope on H2O,
Spoken to bad or good,

Positive vibes led to nat'ral patterns,
Negative to chaos,
The moral was that we're mostly water,
So our feelings chan be our body's loss.

Assuming that chaos is bad for us,
In truth, it prob'ly is,
In truth, the only way that we can know,
Is by truth osmosis,

Which we can't do,
It's called telepathy,
A magic no technology can do,
We're e'er once removed from what's there to see.

Transition Twenty Forever

I'm sitting by my dad,
He's lying in a bed,
A diaper, oxygen, heart monitor,
And dark thoughts in his head,

I never look at other old people,
As if they once were young,
Looking at others, not their own father,
Like they were once the young generation,

Now I'm older just before being old,
I've horizons both sides,
I could have gone by now or've years to go,
Either way I will die,

Or so I'm told,
It's one of life's sure things,
So many live as if it's not the truth,
I wonder if there's something I'm missing.

Transition? Nein teen

I am a prosumer,
Probably, so are you,
We produce and consume our own babies,
Lamia times ten cubed,

That is the way society's going,
Just take influencers,
Chop them up, mix them together, then eat,
It will hardly suffice as a dinner,

Because should we really categorize,
Human ways of being?
Just because we've done it since we could talk,
Don't mean we've been seeing.

Just take this Wath,
Inspired by what I read,
Both a creation and commentary,
That will influence no one exactly.

Transition is Ninth!

Maybe the slowing down's,
Not a sign I'm slowing,
One must move with the rhythm of their life,
To know where they're going.

I hope to say that from a place of wealth,
Both in riches and glee,
Not jinx it getting ahead of myself,
Or by being prematurely happy,

Don't think it's magic that will get me there,
More serendipity,
Fueled by putting myself in the world,
So it can notice me,

Which I e'er try,
But perhap's now's my time,
I have the years and the experience,
Nobody else can offer what is mine.

Transition Forward

Past Waths matched the day's date,
So why should this one change?
Unlike my perspective on the future,
Which is never the same,

One moment to the next I'm different,
The cause of my downfall,
Forever searching an alternate route,
To some destination ethereal,

That isn't really anyplace at all,
'least one I've never found,
Even though I see people all around,
Who seem to be there now,

Being happy,
Is it really that hard,
To know what you want and then to get it,
When money never seems to be that far?

Transition Part Twenty-Late

The only incentive,
For not missing a day,
Of writing my thoughts since I was laid off,
Is what I have to say.

There's no employer replacing parents,
Who love you with money,
All your worth based on what you do for them,
Within a small field of activities.

Whoa, did it take twenty-eight days to get here?
I can't say I like it,
One hopes for less incestuous break-throughs,
Unless it's all a bit.

Guess what, it is!
At least, I do believe,
Though thinking about going back to work,
Makes me feel like I have to eat my peas.

Transition Part 2-4

First I shaved my moustache,
That I had for ten years,
Then I was let go from my fulltime job,
Both had their unique fears:

Would my face look weird to other people?
Was I not good enough?
Will I feel less confident without it?
Will leaving it alone make it more rough?

I'm like a newborn with no family,
Bare as a baby's butt,
Do I venture forth like a warrior,
Or curl up in this rut?

I'm all alone,
In thought, not real'ty,
If you don't think there is a difference,
You have a better perspective than me.

Transition Part 23

Who came up with weekends?
Oh, it was god, wasn't it?
Is there value in us all following,
A time loving despot?

How about we all just do what we love,
In the time that we choose?
Any country, any class, any way,
Without letting any one person lose,

Supporting each other and pitching in,
When something needs be done?
We've tried varied systems and survived 

O'er two millenium.

Or so says god,
Could be far fewer years,
Far's I know, the world only existed,
For's long as I've been able to see her.

Transition Part 22

The way that I'm feeling,
I wish to feel fore'er,
I never knew what work did to my mind,
Am I sounding unfair?

Are eyes rolling because I've it so hard?
Canadian white guy,
Healthcare, safety, democracy, syrup,
Well, so you know, I'm barely getting by,

But I've faith in myself despite these things,
Which I don't think is bad,
Though for most of my life I did believe,
All I'd have's what I had,

Because of guilt,
For having anything,
But that's confusion twixt system and life,
One will not change if one is not willing.

Transition Part Forever 21

They say kids speed up time,
For the ones who raise them,
Before you know it they're out of the house,
'less born this millen-yum.

I'm suspect of anyone's reporting,
With nothing to compare,
I'm sorry, you know how time passes by,
For those with no cubs growing in their lair?

I have kids, I know how time feels for me,
Felt, too, when I had none,
All of my past feels equally distant,
To all other humans.

No, still no job,
But been busy as hell,
This week flew right on by way too quickly,
That is the way it is when you hustle.