Distraction

Here is the greatest test,
But, of course, that's a big line.
Who's to say what's the hardest thing,
Until they can say, "it's mine"?

There is so much going on,
Without wanting anyone to see,
And no silence to let thoughts be alone,
To say, "that's exclusively me."

But, that may be the most truthful,
To what reality is.
One can't filter all that comes in,
To say that all that's left is his.

And it's alright,
As long as he gets to the end,
To put it away for later,
And to say, "I can start again."

The Secret

It was getting hairy,
But it call came out in the wash,
While someone thinking that she knew the secret,
And my sanity getting lost.

What's so bad about being up a creek without a paddle,
If the current takes you where you want?
The water's only usually a couple feet deep,
You can always get out and walk.

So is it really all just about believing,
That it will work out, and suddenly it does?
I guess if by work out you mean whatever,
And by believing, you really don't care what's up.

And it's alright,
Lots of people have lived their life that way,
And I'm sure some of them ended up dying happy,
By some freakish impossibility.

Privacy

The images through my mind,
So strong, and yet sadly, unreal,
Haunt me at the times when they are most improbable,
Because she is so near.

That is too much, now they should wander again,
But isn't that just denying free thought?
If I thought anyone was privy to these,
I'd be far more tortured than not.

For what is thought, but the spigot for desire,
When desire must be safely unleashed?
Let my thought be subject to regulation,
And my thought would soon be deceased.

And it's alright,
There will always be thought without action.
Of course, there will also be action without thought,
Sprung from thought's natural reactions.

Wintry Night Walk

As I walked to the place,
That was left for me to retrieve,
The food that we would eat on that very night,
Something occurred to me.

With the cold just making it past my layers,
And the anger seeping out the other way,
And my eyes sifting through the carapaces of the women,
Not noticing me that day.

What is life, but just the determination,
To not let life ruin what you could feel,
If you could feel without the intrusion of the things,
That happens in life to make it feel real?

And it's alright,
I took the food home and it wasn't that great,
But by the end the anger had found it's place,
Among the many gifts I've received from fate.

Lucid Dreams

I have no more time now,
It's all been taken from me,
Just like the freedom to go where I please,
My bed and surrounding area's all that I see.

Except for excursions among other people,
But, those never seem to offer up much.
My abilities to share have never been strong,
And others' ability to care, just sucks.

At least there's loved ones close by from whom I get strength,
And to whom I can go to for pause,
From this life that's been ordained for everyone,
And ultimately ends in a net of loss.

And it's alright,
Disappointment for other people,
Seems to be what I've been best at lately,
And I see no cause to be more helpful.

Improve

The faith that nothing's happening,
That is not what should be,
Is perhaps the one most important thing,
To making people believe,

That nothing's accidental, but is anything?
The poorest laid plans sometimes work despite of them.
And when they don't, well, what can I say?
Somebody else had a different plan.

Ultimately, though, we all get what we want,
Whether we admit it or not.
We all whisper to the wind our greatest desires,
Though, what they are, most of us have forgot.

And it's alright,
Lose yourself and you'll sober up.
Whether by choice or the effects of time,
Reality's there whether you like it or not.

Time

Is there enough time to,
Do all you want to do?
Knowing's half the battle,
So, if you don't know, then you should soon.

Five minutes to get it done,
And a lifetime until it's perfect,
And if there's chaos, just sit back and relax,
That's the only way you will figure out it.

Or just surrender, for you already know,
What the ultimate end needs to be,
But if you don't know what direction it's in,
You'll have to trust to the wisdom of your body.

And it's alright,
Your body can mean so many things,
The point is there's so much you can never know,
But to which you can surrender your whole being.

News of the Day

There's nothing much new happening,
There's a scandal in the church,
A war is happening in ten different countries,
And all our poor are getting hurt.

There is a lot of hubbub about the air,
And in there air there is a lot of talk,
About how something drastic has to happen.
Isn't it a great time for the government to step up?

The government that has the people at heart,
Like in the Ukraine or in Sri Lanka.
Did I just make a political statement?
Because I sure didn't mean ta.

And it's alright,
We keep asking ourselves if things have really changed.
Technology sure promises to make things easier,
If it doesn't first help to destroy everything.

The Break

Here we go now, ready,
The road is paved and the engine's on,
The driving won't be easy, but if you concentrate,
It's hard not to get to your destination.

The wind's behind us, people on the side are cheering,
Nobody's going to stand in your way,
Except those who love you, who don't want you to go,
But you will be back one day.

With more than you have and more than you would,
If you just stayed here, getting what you could.
And if you ever think staying here was a better idea,
Then you probably should.

And it's alright,
Whatever you do in the end,
No one ultimately cares if it's you,
They just need anybody to send.

Maturation

Well, I think it's happened,
And there is no turning back,
Unless you want to return to your old life,
But I don't think you want that.

From now on it's hard work and you can't avoid it,
Until it becomes second nature,
And you are simply going through the motions,
Then it's time, again, to get more mature.

And this is what it means to become more human,
It's the one thing that's not sad but true.
Even if you're a fat cat, you can't be said to be living,
Unless there's something living inside of you.

And it's alright,
Sometimes you'll still be all dead inside,
That's just like a night in the folds of a dream,
Or the moments in the neap of a tide.

Longevity

The true colours are coming,
Out of the exacting honesty of life,
Unless fate can be changed and concentration can,
Readjust the lack of concentration with which I'm rife.

Hardwires can be reorganized, I think,
But does that require the knowledge of how,
It is that they ever got to where they were in the first place,
And if they changed to be what they are now?

Some people seem to have it all together.
And success and happiness exceeds money.
That was a statement in itself. I'm aware.
Is this a turning point for where I might be?

And it's alright,
You can't move until you're happy where you are,
Until then, you're just caught in the quagmire of self-pity,
And that state doesn't allow you to go far.

It's About Time

Rummaging through the stuff,
Of a lacklustre past,
One finds so many potential moments,
And almost valuable artifacts.

And put together in just the right set,
The trash quickly turns into a treasure.
The worthlessness you now recognize in my rearing,
Gets a new light as I amass my future.

Forget the dinner, there so much more that I,
Can give you, once it all makes sense to others,
And people line up just to understand where they,
Fit amongst the shit piled up from years of torture.

And it's alright,
If this is not the gem of the pile,
The best things are not made up of the best things,
And everything good's worth waiting for a while.

Withstanding

The communication I expect,
To flow from my brain right through my heart,
Is all that's left to shape the things as they are,
Because all else aren't.

And though the way out doesn't seem obvious,
Things will work out, as they always have,
And not even my belief that belief undermines events,
Will undermine my ultimate repeating of the past.

Defeat's not an option, even if I lose,
My stance must ensure that immediately,
Another road of unbelievable riches,
Is opened up to me.

And it's alright,
If I am bruised, but not if I don't win,
That might have been acceptable in the past,
But now I must think of my future generations.

Happy New Year

Well, it is the new year,
And I entered it a failure,
In one thing, but that one thing became so big,
It obfuscated all my other allure.

Though, maybe this is just what the doctor ordered,
For all my other new years came with a bang,
And though the year that followed never quite sucked,
The most amazing thing in the world never came.

Oh wait, I was married and had a baby boy,
Got a job with lots of responsibility.
Of course those are all in the realm of the expected.
What about being propped above the rest of humanity?

And it's alright,
If your time never quite comes.
Part of life is that anticipation,
That is destroyed upon that elevation.

Self Evolution

I've learned something about myself,
And I hope it's not too late,
For it to be something that's a part of me,
And not something that I'll always commiserate.

There are so many roads from self-realization,
Determined by one's own inclinations as a soul,
While that soul changes from the realization itself,
And one must decide which soul will choose the road.

While who you think you want to be is determined,
By who you are at the moment of choice,
And to know who you want to be means knowing yourself,
And being comforable with your own voice.

And it's alright,
If you are not,
Because you can't change who you are anyway,
Unless you have some idea that you are god.

Owning Up

Oops, I did it again,
My fatal flaw has caused ripples,
And my only way out is embarrassed sorries,
Unless I don't want to make it simple.

I can just let the little fires grow,
Until I need to rebuild my world again.
I would then escape the stress on my character,
But, then, the new one wouldn't be as lived in.

And in the end, what does one want to acheive,
But a utility belt filled with experience?
For when one finds oneself in unfamiliar territory,
And nowhere can one rely on friends.

And it's alright,
If some of the small fires burned allies,
The work put into helping them lick their wounds,
Helps significantly strengthen your ties.

Obstacle

Not every obstacle,
Is one that one can overcome,
Or go around or break through, sometimes an obstacle,
Is a conundrum.

And one must look at the problem from the beginning,
And imagine that it is all new,
And sacrifice what resources were already used,
Because they're just not going to help you.

Time spent lamenting is time well wasted,
And each moment of it delays the inevitable time,
That you must spend actually figuring it out,
A stitch in time, well, saves nine.

And it's alright,
Even if this obstacle wins out in the end,
You won't be the first one not to slay a dragon,
Just don't let it be your execution.

Here Comes My Wrath

I am coming for you,
And though I'm not that kind of man,
I may be abrasive depending on whether,
You own up to the fact that you ran.

So much has happened because of your lack of response,
That there really can be no excuse,
Outside some event that threatened your way of life,
For, in that case, you would be of no use.

And then all would be well in my world,
That is harsh, but it is true,
For the only saviour to the claim of incompetence,
Is if something actually happened to you.

And it's alright,
Even if you're fine, I can still save the day,
In fact, I hope that I do,
'Cause, for nothing, I don't want to be put out of way.

Answer Me

Why won't you answer me?
What am I supposed to do?
I call out and am speaking to no one,
And all I want is to talk to you.

My impotence is causing great anxiety,
My distance from you causing that impotence to blast,
A hole through my entire life and my family's,
So you better give me a clue fast.

What can I rely on if not what others say,
Who I really don't know?
I went with you because I have to trust in the culture,
That makes certain people the ones with whom I should go.

And it's alright,
That the sense I'm making's not showing through,
The whole point is that I may just lose my life,
If I cannot get through to you.

Bartok

Yes, it's the holidays,
And no, I'm not a sad guy,
Though there are circumstances to make me so,
I forget it for the yule tide.

I know that's odd because it is usually,
The other way around.
What better time to focus on all of your woes,
Than when the bells of Christmas cheer sound?

Everyone seems happiest, though isn't it funny,
That more people are depressed than ever?
Nothing like a focus on what you have,
To shine a light on what you'll never.

And it's alright,
If you refuse to do anything at all.
I got someone doing that for me right now,
Who refuses to answer any of my calls.