Blinding Fear of the Future

The fear's suddenly growing,
How will we survive as we are?
With another person on the way,
With one of us not working, it will be hard.

The urge to run away and pretend it's not happening,
I guess is as common as the thought of suicide,
There are people known to have done either of these,
But, unfortunately I'm not that kind.

Where is the miracle in response to my actions?
I have had faith and constant production.
I may not have the common style that makes money.
I kind of hoped I was a new generation.

And it's alright,
Maybe my windfall will come one of these days,
At least that's all I have to count on in my mind,
Because making my own success is not how I was raised.

Like a Baby

One way or another,
I'm gonna getcha.
The hours spent, I'm sure are only a drop,
But it's worth it for what I am after.

Like superhuman, but not with any powers,
With which I could save the universe,
Though some say that you can effect those around you,
I think I'll try to effect myself first.

Of course, maybe that's the key to my own failure,
Though to be honest I'm not sure that I will,
Even know when I've won, the journey's so lonely,
I may have won and don't even know it still.

And it's alright,
I guess the point is not that I know myself,
It's that those around me cower at my power,
And I, again, attain superhuman health.

Consience Feeder

I wouldn't say the guilt is killing me,
Because I think to have fatal guilt,
You need to know exactly what you've strayed from,
And I've never been of that ilk.

Of course that's not to say that something inside me,
Doesn't know exactly what I should do,
And that it's not a matter of listening to myself.
But, if you were me, would you?

It may just be a matter of acknowledging,
The things you do that make you feel ass,
And finding the common denominator,
And then knowledgeably doing that.

And it's alright,
My morning ritual's finally cleaned up my head,
Now, only if it could do the same with my conscience,
I could consider mine a life well-led.

What to do.

I am losing my way,
Because one never did seem clear.
It was always just a general idea,
That everyday I'm more near.

And maybe this feeling of waywardness,
Is just a sign that I'm on the right track.
It's the turmoil before things settle down,
To reveal a less imposing lack.

I'm not worried because life is long,
I'm worried because there's less of it every day,
And I've had plans since I was old enough to plan,
The plans have just always been kind of vague.

And it's alright,
I just have to keep the faith.
I've always felt that my best move is to go with the flow,
So, I will just keep on continuing that way.

How to Make Money

Why are you so afraid,
To spend money you don't have?
It's like it doesn't really exist,
The way if flies throught the air, over your head, so fast.

It's the greatest myth to grace our fair earth.
It bulges invisibly through the emperor's clothes.
You better believe that I'm going to try to snatch some,
Before the myth is busted and away it goes.

It's not like it was before when there was a gold standard,
And there couldn't be more than a certain commodity.
Enron has showed us that it's all about attitude,
And I'm ready to bust out like Liberace.

And it's alright,
I know it's not there to be picked up by just anyone.
But you can't win the lottery unless you buy a ticket,
And, frankly, it's making me sick that I haven't bought one.

My Wife

Never was a person,
So beautiful.
The moments that combine to make up her existence,
Are the most lucky in the world.

Rocket ships sadden because they are leaving,
Her kindness thousands of miles away.
Her laughter tickles flowers as she walks by,
And reach a little higher that day.

Surprises fall from her like rain in the Spring,
Refreshing all that find themselves under her love.
If I could just get one drop to fall on my tongue-
Well, I'd never have another euphoria above.

And it's alright,
You better bet your bottom dollar it is.
For this woman's committed her life to mine,
For the remainder of our existences.

Number One Hundred

I am at a century,
What is left to say?
Except that when I go out in the world,
I inevitably curse that day.

My choices seem to be the worst ones there are,
Okay, I'm over-exaggerating.
Besides, I feel that if I say that out loud,
It might become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Not today, don't think it's going to change,
It always takes some time.
So start early so that one day you will find,
One hundred years have passed and you're doing fine.

And it's alright,
Maybe another hundred will pass,
And even if you haven't gone very much further,
At least you're not too unhappy where you're at.

Control

Why should you think that I,
Should go along with what you want,
When what you want's exactly what I don't,
And it was supposed to be mine from the start?

Are people stupid, selfish or need control?
I think they all amount to the same thing.
What was it that Hume said in all of his wisdom?
The outward result's, not the intention's, everything.

Now of course not will anything be said,
But poison will be made of what is thought,
And fester in my heart and destroy my liver,
Unless this fight is never fought.

And it's alright,
I can always curl back into my ball.
I reached out my hand, it was chopped off and consumed.
I've made it this far alone, after all.

Investment

Investing in oil,
Is pretty bad, I know.
Wait a second is it really that bad?
I just assumed so.

Let's see, it seems to be the impetus for war,
And when it's used it creates polution.
It helps fuel this unequal Capitalist system,
And its price has no regulations.

But money's power and one needs to wield it,
If he ever hopes to make things fair.
And no one's becoming millionaires with eco funds,
Unless by "eco" one means "I don't really care".

And it's alright,
You can't buy anything that doesn't support money.
So buy the things with the biggest returns,
And you will be finally free.

True Opportunity

Is it really possible,
That a choice in one's life,
Can really make the difference between struggling,
And being taken care of day and night?

And at the moment of that decision does one,
Fail or succeed in taking a challenge,
Or can it be that that moment is no different
Than any other, as far as you can sense?

And then, so, what's the use of doing anything?
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.
Such chances in life, whether obvious or dim,
Probably only happen to someone else.

Is it alright,
That I am thinking so negatively?
Doesn't everyone make their own luck?
Won't someone somewhere please tell me?

Fate Split

Is it unique to have,
Your fate line split in two?
Someone I met seemed to think so,
And didn't know what to do.

Fate is so rigid and interconnected with others,
I feel like the break was perhaps selfish,
Assuming one's fate is better for one than anything else.
Though I'm surprised you can fight it.

Or maybe my fate is to create a world,
At a moment when it's unclear which should come.
I hope I'm not the cause of world disorder,
Or of www.hotornot.com.

And it's alright,
You don't have to be rated if you don't want to.
Of course it's the responsibility of every democracy-lover,
To logon to that- and American Idol, too.

Mistakes

If I make a mistake,
And brilliantly fix it,
Am I deserving of a pat on the back,
Or is any response needed?

I guess one moment is related to another,
And so cause and effect might cancel each other out.
But each moment is also a unique event.
"What have you done for me lately?" might win out.

But why not dwell on the original fault,
And say, "you're lucky you fixed up that fuck up"?
After all, time was wasted in the reversal of the mistake.
Is that too much of "I see an half-empty cup"?

Oh, it's alright,
I guess there's no need to waste time wondering what's the best.
It's about what the Judger thinks about the Errorer,
And if the Judger passes the asshole test.

Fatigue

I'm too tired to say anything.
I've travelled too many miles today.
I must go to bed before daylight returns.
What else can I say?

Even with chaos all around my body,
My body doesn't even acknowledge.
My mind is straining to know what to find important.
It gets distracted by the thought of my bed.

So is it my body that will ultimately betray,
My desire to excel in the end?
In the end, is it not also unlimited energy,
That helps define those that the world commends?

Still, it's alright,
What is admired changes, with each generation,
With what is considered important for society.
I hope, soon, people start to admire indecision.

The Rain

Is it really so strange,
That the rain should keep me in?
Change my lifestyle so that I'm not doing-
Actually, there's nothing I'm missing.

The seasons offer opportunities to,
Reflect on Nature, yes, but also on what,
Combines to make up the person that you are,
And whether you are a lot.

But the rain, it is different from all the calm weathers,
Because to enjoy it, in it you must thrust yourself,
And give up all activities that demand you be dry.
You own the street while everyone's in his house.

And it's alright,
Even if everyone stares from their window.
Haven't you ever stood out from among the crowd?
Doing what everyone knows is fun but where no one dares go.

Foot in Mouth

Can I really be that wrong,
If my intentions were good?
I guess I wouldn't have to ask this question,
If, in the first place, I knew all that I should.

Of course there's always the translation,
That allows for not speaking from the correct place.
I understand the beauty of a bee,
Even when it stings me in the face.

And let's not even mention that the bee will die,
I'd be taking the analogy much too far.
I'd have to mention my allergy, too,
And how I cut down its hive and put it in a jar.

Hey, it's alright,
I wouldn't do something like that, now would I?
Even though I regret most of what I say,
I really am quite a decent guy.

Grammar

I have just been called racist,
For not wanting to correct someone's grammar,
Because his first language is not English,
And so I'm being a condescending humourer.

But if I don't speak his first language ,
Am I not assuming to translate,
Ideas formulated differently than my English brain would have?
What if I made a mistake?

I once wrote in Italian, though I hardly knew it,
And I felt it was a beautiful thing.
I know it probably was syntaxally horrendous,
But at least I knew what I was saying.

But it's alright,
Maybe I am racist after all.
After all, I write like English is not my first language,
And make it all ungrammatical.

The Odds

I used to think that every roll of the dice,
Was a singular event.
Fifty thousand sixes in a row?
That's just how the dice went.

But now I see that circumstances connect,
And though things could turn out any of an infinite ways,
The fact that they turn out any way at all,
Well, there's something magical in that, don't you say?

And then there's the roll of the dice of my life.
This revelation wasn't a random thing.
I shaved the sides until I got what I wanted,
Now I am living more comfortably.

And it's alright,
I'm not turning my back on my own instincts.
There's what I know and what I need to know to survive.
And may the two never relate.

Everlasting Worlds

Try to wrap my head around it,
And it focuses on the mundane.
Not that the concept's necessarily too big.
But, where to begin.

There are the moments that can be taken out of time,
And made the eternity they really are,
And there are the other infinite universes,
And then there's the interstellar.

And as a whole one cannot ignore the mind,
One of many that encompasses them,
Existing everlastingly themselves,
Thinking about work and the children.

And it's alright,
The brain just needs a little stretching.
Though what you hope to attain by getting it around it,
Really should be the thing.

Fame

I will not get depressed,
About the success of my friends.
You're judged by the company that you keep,
And they rub off on you in the end.

It's a phenomenon how people with clout,
Somehow crossed paths when they were still no one.
Okay, mom, I know that just because you have fame,
You're not a better type of person.

But that's what I want. Doesn't everyone?
Because with fame usually comes money.
It just seems like the easiest route to take,
Not to say that I am lazy.

You see, it's alright,
I've worked hard and I'll work hard again.
I just want to work hard at things I like,
And to leave the other things to other persons.

Perspective

All of a sudden I was,
Sad about the life I lived.
Was it because it was really that bad,
Or was I caught in past logic?

The light I shone upon the snapshot of my life,
Created a beautifully tragic scene.
A twist of mind easily changed how I looked.
But which light was the light of honesty?

Where does the lie lie during self-reflection?
What point serves as the measurement of what's real?
How much knowledge must I have to understand,
If I am good or am supporting evil?

Oh, it's alright,
I won't be changing my lifestyle anytime soon,
Unless a leader shows me how by just living silently,
I'm helping kill the innocent round the world.