Self Evolution

I've learned something about myself,
And I hope it's not too late,
For it to be something that's a part of me,
And not something that I'll always commiserate.

There are so many roads from self-realization,
Determined by one's own inclinations as a soul,
While that soul changes from the realization itself,
And one must decide which soul will choose the road.

While who you think you want to be is determined,
By who you are at the moment of choice,
And to know who you want to be means knowing yourself,
And being comforable with your own voice.

And it's alright,
If you are not,
Because you can't change who you are anyway,
Unless you have some idea that you are god.

Owning Up

Oops, I did it again,
My fatal flaw has caused ripples,
And my only way out is embarrassed sorries,
Unless I don't want to make it simple.

I can just let the little fires grow,
Until I need to rebuild my world again.
I would then escape the stress on my character,
But, then, the new one wouldn't be as lived in.

And in the end, what does one want to acheive,
But a utility belt filled with experience?
For when one finds oneself in unfamiliar territory,
And nowhere can one rely on friends.

And it's alright,
If some of the small fires burned allies,
The work put into helping them lick their wounds,
Helps significantly strengthen your ties.

Obstacle

Not every obstacle,
Is one that one can overcome,
Or go around or break through, sometimes an obstacle,
Is a conundrum.

And one must look at the problem from the beginning,
And imagine that it is all new,
And sacrifice what resources were already used,
Because they're just not going to help you.

Time spent lamenting is time well wasted,
And each moment of it delays the inevitable time,
That you must spend actually figuring it out,
A stitch in time, well, saves nine.

And it's alright,
Even if this obstacle wins out in the end,
You won't be the first one not to slay a dragon,
Just don't let it be your execution.

Here Comes My Wrath

I am coming for you,
And though I'm not that kind of man,
I may be abrasive depending on whether,
You own up to the fact that you ran.

So much has happened because of your lack of response,
That there really can be no excuse,
Outside some event that threatened your way of life,
For, in that case, you would be of no use.

And then all would be well in my world,
That is harsh, but it is true,
For the only saviour to the claim of incompetence,
Is if something actually happened to you.

And it's alright,
Even if you're fine, I can still save the day,
In fact, I hope that I do,
'Cause, for nothing, I don't want to be put out of way.

Answer Me

Why won't you answer me?
What am I supposed to do?
I call out and am speaking to no one,
And all I want is to talk to you.

My impotence is causing great anxiety,
My distance from you causing that impotence to blast,
A hole through my entire life and my family's,
So you better give me a clue fast.

What can I rely on if not what others say,
Who I really don't know?
I went with you because I have to trust in the culture,
That makes certain people the ones with whom I should go.

And it's alright,
That the sense I'm making's not showing through,
The whole point is that I may just lose my life,
If I cannot get through to you.

Bartok

Yes, it's the holidays,
And no, I'm not a sad guy,
Though there are circumstances to make me so,
I forget it for the yule tide.

I know that's odd because it is usually,
The other way around.
What better time to focus on all of your woes,
Than when the bells of Christmas cheer sound?

Everyone seems happiest, though isn't it funny,
That more people are depressed than ever?
Nothing like a focus on what you have,
To shine a light on what you'll never.

And it's alright,
If you refuse to do anything at all.
I got someone doing that for me right now,
Who refuses to answer any of my calls.

Expression

What am I supposed to do,
With this lack of communication?
With nothing out there responding to my call,
I can only laugh in frustration.

There's so much lack of control already in the world,
That is so categorical it brings home the point,
That for all intents and purposes we're observers,
Of how the world wishes us to anoint.

So until the end, remain defiant,
Because that's the only action that will show,
That there is some will inside this unmanned vessel,
Because expression's the next best thing to know.

And it's alright,
It's not as bad as all that,
You still have the things you bought, and that is something,
That expression will never have a shot at.

Truth

Life is not about,
Learning what it is you can do.
Personal potential is not what is important,
Because the world's not made for you.

The true way out is through the true way that,
You express yourself no matter what.
That kind of honesty cannot be withstood,
Unless people take you for some kind of nut.

And then there's whether or not your truth is marketable,
Whether as directly voiced or through your actions,
Only if it is, is there any real chance,
At personal satisfaction?

And it's alright,
We all have to go soon.
This is not the place for humanity yet,
Capitalism won't allow the room.

Rebel Sell

Am I really perpetuating Capitalism,
By purchasing in a rebelious way?
And if I don't purchase at all I am perpetrating,
A short road to Anarchy, you say?

No, not quite, it's only when I ignore rules,
Because rules are necessary,
To avoid the embarrassment of not knowing what others will do,
In situations that should be ordinary.

And, further, there is no subconscious to repress,
Because, ultimately, what you see's what you get.
So the only way we will all live together,
Is to work with the system we've all inherited.

Is it alright,
If I disagree on at least one thing?
If we are only left to work within the system,
How the fuck am I supposed to feed my family?

New Regime

Is it really that true,
That you can't beat Capitalism?
You find one thing to point out that might threaten it,
And it absorbs it so that it doesn't.

Like the revolution of the workers that never came,
Wait, read on, I'm not a Communist!
The only way to escape this mass consumption,
Is a mass realization that's simultaneous.

But what's the big deal, most people are comfortable,
And Jesus said there'd always be poor.
Of course the former are in the Capitalist State,
While the latter exist to provide us more.

And it's alright,
I'm sure the walls will come a crumbling soon,
And all us Capitalists will lose our shirts.
But what will rise to replace it that will also improve?

The Race

The race has gotten less heated,
It's not longer about being first,
Now all of those without a snowball's chance,
Are considering the route as what has worth.

And learning from those that pass them on the way,
And absorbing what they do for the next time,
If there is one, but what they don't understand,
Is that each time the race has a different kind,

Of distance and route and ultimate goal,
And no amount of training can truly prepare,
The participants of the obstacles in it,
Which is why so many just die in despair.

But it's alright,
It's not as tragic as it may seem,
You always forget the race that you were just in,
And the current one may always be a dream.

Secret to Comfort

For every right turn that I have made,
I must have made a thousand wrong ones,
But, I guess, that there are still right ones to make,
I still can fulfill my vocation.

And what is wrong is only wrong for one thing,
Just like all non-choices are still an option taken.
Sit back and enjoy the place you find yourself,
And remember it when you're in the place you should be in.

And if that's never, well, there's always your dreams,
To escape to as if they've happened.
How do you think so many get to spend there lives,
In institutions and remote cabins?

And it's alright,
I'm not saying that that's all that bad,
Many institutions are revered by the world,
And many cabins on beaches of whitest sand.

Togetherness

It has not been easy,
Being there for you,
Especially when you're not there for me.
Though, that was a contingency I knew.

Told what to do, though always not doing it,
That is a crime we are guilty of, both.
Thinking was not something I was told to sign up for,
And I don't see its worth.

My muscles are sore and the time's running out,
For me to do anything that will make a difference.
You'll drive me crazy eventually,
Because we do not share the same sense.

And it's alright,
We'll only be together forever,
We're bound by ties, and wish them eternal life,
Because they're ties that only death will sever.

Diamonds

People are still getting killed for diamonds,
Both on the front end and the back,
The clear crystals with that shimmering effect,
Manages to fill some kind of lack.

And that lack manifests itself as money,
And money is what I wish I had for you,
So give me diamonds, I will use them for good,
Is that even possible to do?

I know, I know, nothing one does in this world,
Is free from evil, given how it's structured.
All what is made is made on somebody's back,
And bought with money, which is completely absurd.

And it's alright,
Isn't it, that whole peoples are displaced,
For these precious gems, valued for I don't know what?
No wait, I guess it really is a disgrace.

Sexual Health

I've never been one,
To live in a sexual world,
Except in so far as I've had it,
And it has offered much allure.

But I was never the last standing at a party,
Or one to be able to converse for long,
Or be so aloof that I'm very intriguing,
And I've never seemed so very, very wrong.

I've lacked the desire for sex before all else,
My libido's strong but directs itself,
At the world at large, for better or for worse,
And that's not a recipe for sexual health.

And it's alright,
The truly active are always few and far between,
And often have problems of their own,
Not to make myself more healthy than I might seem.

Patience

You just have to keep trudging,
To make it to the good times that are there,
It's the nature of this society,
To make the distribution of ease unfair.

Go to work, wake up when you do not want,
And wait while you slowly approach the time,
When you can do what you want, after you've done the things,
You couldn't, while you were doing things for some guy.

But it's all worth it in the context of this world,
And it's the best thing in this world you can do,
Unless you make a fortune and don't have to work,
Just don't let your kids not work, too.

And it's alright,
I know it's like being a mouse in a cage,
And just like that mouse, we're just in an experiment.
Our kid's may find themselves in a better age.

Mystery

If you've lost self-confidence,
Just look at me.
I told you I would do the best I can,
And the best has eluded me.

Or did I do it and it just fell short,
And my capabilities lack virility?
My power to create something new may be old,
And withering before I had chance to procreate.

Or that may not be true, life is so much longer,
For people now, and besides one need never give up.
Though chances are your past can decree your future,
Your past may not yet been yet fully developed.

And it's alright,
If you've given up on the mystery,
Of life, that says that anything can still happen,
And that we still do not know everything.

Change

It is all alright now,
I bet that's what you're thinking,
Until the moment that changes your whole life,
Comes crashing into your serenity.

Which is like a moment because it's unchanging,
Just like the changes are moments in themselves,
And since time is measured by all these changes,
Without them, you have no real sense of self.

Not that that is the ends, many people wish to,
Lose themselves through meditation,
And drugs and deviance and suicide,
Though they use the same means to make changes.

And it's alright,
That the prescription is the same for both,
It makes it easier not to mix medicine,
And allows focus to be what you want most.

Advice

Don't take it too hard,
If your life's not treating you well.
Imagine you were just put on this earth,
With everything already unveiled.

And that you have a spirit of great power,
Destined to mold the world as you please,
And that the circumstances surrounding you,
Can be changed by you with the greatest of ease.

Or at least tolerated because they are new,
And life itself is something to celebrate,
And all of this could disappear as fast as it came,
So enjoy it until it's retaken by fate.

And it's alright,
If none of this really helps you out,
It's kind of like pretending the world's not real.
It's all kind of an escapists dream any how.

Iraq

Things look grim for what Bush,
Has been doing in Iraq.
The only way out of his predicament,
Is perhaps to pull back.

But will that solve the problems over there?
What were they again?
Oh ya, they have an army sitting among them,
In a perpetual invasion.

But that's not really true, because there were problems,
Before anyone paid any notice.
Not to diminish them, but there's problems here, too,
Just not as rich in oil, I guess.

And it's alright,
I don't mean to go back to the same old thing.
We're not as systematic over here in the west.
Our deaths and tortures are much more smattering.

Moving Up

Things can change so quickly,
And unless you go with the flow,
The pressure will cause stress inside your brain,
As if you're climbing high altitudes.

But, at the same time, you must maintain control,
And be aware of each step that you're taking,
So as not to miss a hold and plummet to your death,
Pulling those around you down for the faking.

But if you pay attention, while not caring,
For the pressure, but for the ultimate outcome,
That you arrive at with attention to minutiae,
You will be washed in the full glory of the sun.

And it's alright,
If you pass a few people on the way.
Though, you may be a bad person for not helping them.
I'm struggling with that very problem today.

Going For It

Things are not quite the same,
Not that I ever thought they would,
The same sun rises on the same old days,
But I have much more for sure.

I'm ten times bigger at the drop of a hat,
Though it does not take any more skill,
Other than the ability to take it as it comes,
Mixed with the hope that it always will.

And don't forget obliviousness,
The cornerstone of me.
WIthout it how could the unexpected happen,
While I maintain an air of assurity.

And it's alright,
I'm not saying that it will work,
But it better, 'cause I have a lot at stake,
And a lot coming that I deserve.

Son Advantages

This is a new beginning,
But what about the previous end?
Is there something really to show for it?
Oh, wait, there is my son, Hen.

And now everything I do, I do for you,
Even when I really do it for me,
Because now all I want is to set an example,
Of responsibility.

And to not make the same mistakes I've made in the past,
Which means, I guess, I can't do them from now on,
Which should greatly improve my life from this point,
Because, until now, I've been a lackluster son.

And it's alright,
Maybe this whole new beginning thing is bunk.
All I know now is I could conquer the world,
And finally begin my revolution.

Change

It can all change so fast,
All your teeth can fall out,
Your gut can be pierced by a searing pain,
And your world left in doubt.

Your height can diminish with each growing thought,
The importance lent to things can vanish like air,
You can be stripped of all that you think makes you,
But you will still be there.

And the path at that point will be totally different,
Than the one that you saw for yourself,
And even than the one that you would have actually stepped,
And you'd still end up where you were always meant.

So, it's alright,
If you take a misstep or two,
They are only routes along the way to where,
You were always meant to go to.

Perspective

Life is all anew now,
Well, how did that happen?
Was it a change in the things around you,
Or was it something from within?

I'm feeling bad and now the world is against me,
Let's not assume the feeling determines the game.
Just because morale is down, all is not over.
Actually, things are exactly the same.

Each moment jumped into is a new life,
That is not optimistic, that is the truth.
Some people are the type to give up right away,
And some people burst on right through.

And it's alright,
No matter what kind of person you are,
You can change, but chances are that you won't.
It all depends on whether it's in the stars.

Progress

What have I learned today?
I guess the same old thing.
Don't judge other people by what you see,
Because you don't know everything.

And step back in each situation and don't judge it,
Let it happen because you don't have the power of sight.
At least, not when you are right in the foray,
Because it's hard to think when you're in a fight.

And on that subject, maybe thinking is bad,
Because action's more of a reflex thing.
Take a few minutes in the morning for reflection,
And let that determine your manoeuvring.

And it's alright,
If in the end you haven't gained anything,
I'm sure you don't realize what it is you have,
Until you look back at what you had once been.

Excuses

You have to start at the lowest,
To get as high as you can,
And where that spot is depends on your approach,
And not on where you think you stand.

The hard work comes when you are not aware,
And only seems that way in retrospect,
And you can moan about the hard times,
While you enjoy the hard times' opulence.

I may not be right because I'm not there yet,
And each day passing makes it harder to gauge.
Everyone should have the opportunity,
But that is not how everyone was raised.

And it's alright,
As long as I have something to blame,
I can't feel that bad about not succeeding,
At what I always thought was mine to claim.

Bad Eggs

The sickness overtook me,
The pain inflamed 'til I could not move,
The ambulance came, and though it was needed,
They were very rude.

My son and I and my wife all on a gurney,
While my fluids are regenerated,
And before that I passed out on the bathroom floor,
Is anymore description needed?

But she was there through the whole thing with our newborn,
And I can't thank her more for that.
Would you have done the same thing in her position?
Am I a man after all that?

And it's alright,
Only time will tell,
And there is always time to turn things around,
And prove that you're not a shell.

Evolution

There is little I know,
About what's happening in the world.
I know there's trouble in the Middle East,
But what is it all for?

And I see a lot of homeless around here,
But won't there always be poor?
Of course, I do little to help them,
Of course, I don't make much more.

My life is about worrying about how,
I will provide for the people in my life,
That are dependent on me for survival.
I guess things haven't changed since the world was ice.

And it's alright,
If you thought that humans got beyond,
The simple life of other animals.
What other species can engage in revolution?

Rush

I'm so satisfied,
With the way things are going,
That I wish that society would let you alone,
With just these things.

But then there are the debts and responsibilities,
That, I guess, allow the circumstances,
To exist in which lie the satisfying times,
With which I started these stanzas.

And even this time is a short-lived moment,
That, of course, may never happen again,
But if it doesn't, at least I know that this life,
Can provide such things to humans.

And it's alright,
I'm sure I'll be back,
Of course, you wouldn't know it,
But I've already been gone for a yak.

Responsibility

Is life passing you by?
Because if that's what you think,
You also think it's not treating you well.
When did life become a dink?

When the moon revolves around the earth,
You probably try to stop it cold,
So that it's the earth that does the rotation,
And everything gets young, you're not getting old.

It's hard to say that we're in control of our actions,
Let alone the actions of other things,
Just like it's hard to pick the chicken or egg.
I guess it depends on how good you're living.

And it's alright,
Maybe if you imagine you're living well,
You'll begin to take responsibility for your actions,
And then that you have actual libel.

Desires

Look around you and tell me,
If you have all that you want,
And if not, if someone painted you a picture of what that is,
Would you recognize it, or what?

There's this whole pursuit of happiness,
That implies you don't have it,
And though it's ass to say it's there for the taking,
Well, it is.

Of course there's someone with more than you,
And of course there is someone with less,
And of course I'm talking to everyone,
So no one has the least or the most, I guess.

And it's alright,
I guess everyone is just in between,
Where they want and where they completely abhor,
Without quite knowing if they've ever been.

Not Too Late

I guess it's never too late,
Especially when life could last forever,
And I have so many goddam dreams,
I'd need that much time to finish a quarter.

Then again there's already so much gone by,
Where so many others have done so much.
Who am I kidding, there is some key component,
That I am just lacking, as such.

And can I find it, is it too late for that?
I guess it's never too late, they say.
I've never risked much, though I've got quite a lot,
And people are killed for what they want, everyday.

And it's alright,
I'm not really complaining.
I've been blessed so far and I don't mean to say,
That I am necessarily lazy.

Go

The fog has now cleared,
And there's a baby on my lap,
Challenging me to find everything interesting,
When all I really want is a nap.

But we would all shrivel up and die,
Without stimulation.
It's the thought that there's something we don't know,
That is the true galvinization.

And passing that on is our most important task,
Because there's plenty with which we can fill brains,
That leave nothing to the imagination,
And so leave everything kinda the same.

And it's alright,
I think there will always be someone who,
Questions things and starts a revolution.
The question is, will that someone be you?

See You Later

I don't know what to say,
I hope you are okay.
Sometimes when I swing my fist with abandon,
Well, let the chips fall where they may.

Like a tsunami or a I don't know what,
Sometimes a human can be so natural,
As to do something without thought to consequence,
At least not on a moralistic level.

But it was not that bad, nothing was broken,
Unless you're talking on an emotional tier,
Where damage is like the tearing of a muscle,
Though, stronger emotions are my greatest fear.

And it's alright,
I don't have the time to get into it now.
I only wanted to plant a little seed,
And to leave you a while to let it sprout.

Second Chances

Am I just a failure,
With the potential of a guy,
Of no real stellar qualities to which to point,
And who will always just get by?

I think that's the case, for where can one find proof,
Except in what one has done and who's admired him?
Though as others have pointed out in the past,
They never admire you for what you intend.

And, of course, failure's all in the mind of the beholder,
And one man's treasure is another man's meat.
But remember that you have your own passions,
And a great life might not be what you need.

And it's alright,
This life is long and may not be the only one.
Learn from what you've done so far and make sure you know,
How to avoid that feeling that you've not fulfilled your vocation.

Power

There's always a way around it,
And part of the fun is finding out how,
And if it wasn't there in the first place,
What is there left to do now?

The world is magic, there is not contradiction,
In imagining that something might happen,
Completely unexpected and unexplained,
Because, what we really know is next to nothing.

And by 'next' I mean in a whole other space,
And not to say, therefore, everything.
I feel so goddam isolated,
I wonder if I'm making any meaning.

And it's alright,
There will be many people I'll meet with power,
But only power that I recognize as existing.
And, only then, if it's for the growth of my tower.

Necessities

Things are going slowly,
As they always do,
Or seem to in life, but you must remember,
That it will always seem slow to you.

Until the day when the most amazing thing happens,
That marks a true new direction of your life,
That day will go by so fast that you will miss it.
A slice of life as thin as the edge of a knife.

That is the kicker, so much hard work's required,
For the rewards that everyone dreams of,
Unless what you're doing's so much in your nature,
That the rewards don't exist out of those minutes.

And it's alright,
If you have to do things that you don't want to.
Do you think that every lion would choose to kill,
If she had the chance to tan by the pool?

Sudoku

Is this the beginning or end?
It's always hard to tell.
I guess it depends if you're talking about,
Things we want or things that can go to hell.

Is that why people get so ga ga over sudoku?
Because it's a sure thing until you finish it,
And then you have to get right on another one,
To lose that feeling that there is nothing left.

I love my wife and kid, there's no doubt about it,
And everything I do, I do for them.
Even if ultimately it's for my own good,
I think of it in terms of evolution.

And it's alright,
Even if people want to intrude,
You can ignore and as a final resort,
It's not exactly a sin to just be rude.

Henry the Eighth

I'm Henry the eighth, I am,
Though, it doesn't make a difference,
That there is nothing going on in my head,
Or that I don't need to come to my own defence.

And if you ask me to bring out for your viewing,
The deep emotions that run through all of us,
Maybe I can, but I don't see how it's possible,
Because, so far, I haven't been victorious.

I have yet still to change or at least open up.
That may never happen, and thus you'll never know,
My abilities untapped to understand human nature,
And display it in a readable show.

And it's alright,
As long as I have things to occupy myself,
I can forget all the things I wish I could do,
With all the things at which I still excel.

Generations

Is it a miracle of life,
That the hands and feet are made,
As well as all those organs found inside,
Without any help from this technological age?

Everything made has artificial vibes,
Like mixtures of warm and of cold air,
Surrounding my nose, telling me it's not real,
But knowing there's no Nature left anywhere.

But that's alright because we can adapt, can't we?
To any circumstances that we create.
That is our talent until we make the air something,
That our fragile bodies just cannot take.

And it's alright,
I'm not here preaching any kind of doom.
My baby's going to grow up in this world,
And, so, it'll just have to clean up its act soon.

Community

I do not have time now,
I have to do all things right now,
Because I am a responsible human being,
That has sealed my fate with a vow.

The restraints that hold one at the moment of birth,
Are less than zero, and close to nil,
But in the search for the meaning to it all,
One tries to understand it by restricting the field.

Which is fine because within infinity,
To block one path is really to do nothing,
At least in so far as restricting your options,
Though it does help you see where you see meaning.

And it's alright,
You don't have to freak out if it's not just,
The way you imagined things, that's not the point.
It's that to see things some way, well, you just must.

Regrets

I don't like this feeling,
Of exclusion that's in the air,
And the act of trying to distiguish it,
Is being thwarted by ma mere.

When hesitation causes me to say,
Something that doesn't feel right in the first place,
I should just trust in what my mind would have done,
If my idea of how things should be weren't keeping pace.

But I've been here before,
Just like I found the sun in the sky today.
Well, actually the clouds are hiding it from me,
Just as my mind hid from me what to say.

And it's alright,
There's nothing that is not rectifiable,
Unless in the mean time there has been a death,
Then you must live wishing you had been natural.

Off You Go

I have come to that road,
That I have been waiting for, for so long,
And I look down it and see how long it is,
And I'm not sure I'm that strong.

Every success stares down the eye of critique,
And only succeeds when it finally don't care,
For nothing worth doing's been done in the past,
Or that doesn't require some sort of dare.

And once you've started walking, that's not the end.
You need not continue, but if you do,
It's like you're always starting from the beginning,
Cause not til you're dead do you truly get your due.

And it's alright,
The best thing is to just close your eyes,
Fall backward into the Universe's arms,
And if you don't, well, at least you tried.

Opportunity

One thing is really awesome,
While another really sucks,
And the shitty thing you find is that they both,
To the same activity are stuck.

But whether the evil outweighs the good,
The amount of the former need not matter,
Because it needn't even really exist,
If you only focus on the latter.

And surrender to fate because in the end,
It's the only thing that really exists,
And it's the one that will make you feel the best,
If everything you ever wanted was a gift.

And it's alright,
If you never get anything you wanted,
Because, then, fate is a great thing to blame.
When you have a scape goat, you better flaunt it.

Sanctuary

You should let things happen,
Like the world wants to do things for you.
Your face transforms occasionally into a scrunch,
But let the ghosts do what they have to do.

And within walls that carry you here and there,
You have the tools and materials,
To create for yourself your own paradise,
Even if they are not ideal.

This is the way, no matter the circumstances,
No matter if you have lords, or if you are one,
You're not escaping from the world in your mind,
You're having faith in Nature's evolution.

And it's alright,
If you are one to make his own destiny,
As long as that is the natural scrunch of your face,
That's all I've been saying, don't you see?

Repetition

Repetition, what can I say,
That I haven't said before?
In all truth, if it's done that way then be sure,
That the truth will be reflected more and more.

There are no open ends when it is that way,
Unless the truth is that it never ends.
Like in the case where one does not take a stand.
It's frustrating, but that truth need be tended.

And then forget that it is all that you do,
Because the truth need be repeated.
Patterns are what give sense to everyone's world,
And make them believe that things are needed.

And it's alright,
I could wait a lifetime, I guess,
If I thought that I was truly being truthful,
And, at the same time, tying up my loose ends.

Guilt

I know if you just got it,
It would be so much better.
Of course, everyone else would have to agree.
And if they get it, I'm not sure.

That is why things run dry, because they're not filled,
Because the effort of the spirit lacks,
Because one's focus is pulled from happiness,
Because the demands of life ignore the facts.

The feet are moving slowly through a swamp of thick mud,
This mud teeming with the sins of the past,
Of the world, of the misconceptions of the mind,
Because half of our sins were only Nature's tasks.

And it's alright,
If you cannot let them go,
Let them rest in your mind for periodic visits,
To avoid having to make it in this world.

Impact

I'd like to be atavistic,
With all the knowledge possible today.
Then, maybe, a new thought will arise,
Simplistic, yet encouraging.

The notion that nature has risen above,
As if each generation nears perfection,
Is purely relative, as Hume has said.
Movements are only lateral peregrinations.

But within this plane I would like to burst up,
As if a firework or bursting bubble.
Made of the same stuff as the rest of everything,
But creating something a little less subtle.

And it's alright,
If it is missed by everyone,
It's not the type of thing that quickly disappears,
And may not be for this generation.

I'm On The Phone

What is it that I said,
That should cause such disruption?
I have my own way of expressing things,
As you have your own expressions.

It is a concern when we are supposed to be,
One and the same, and yet two apart.
Is it possible that it's impossible to be,
Exactly of one heart?

This will relax me and I will be fine,
But if it ever actually happens again,
I can only assume that our thoughts our disjuncted,
And no benefit of the doubt has been given.

And it's alright,
I guess I can deal with this for an eternity.
It's either this or something else and the point,
Is to deal with life no matter what the setting.

Birth

To some I have a carapace,
And only the same will get you in.
That's when I reveal my soft under belly,
For some good argumenting.

That's when one of us is fecundated,
With what some might call a poison of the mind,
That yields an honest discussion with oneself,
Leaving a stale, miasmic trail behind.

This is all necessary in the experience,
Of life, unless the shell has grown deep within.
Then only surgery will reveal the babe,
That is proof of a new regeneration.

And it's alright,
It doesn't have to be that painful.
You just have to be open to the chance,
That things could happen any way at all.

Reality

How much can one get done,
When he has nothing to do?
I'll tell you, I have too much time on my hands,
So I'm going to find out soon.

And if nothing comes of it, what will my move,
Be but to beat myself down into a pulp?
My inclination is to have something to show,
And, further more, to do it without help.

And this whole thing about not using reality,
When describing what it is I want,
Can go screw itself. How can I describe anything,
Outside the realm of what I know? I know not.

And it's alright,
Some people think in terms of flowers.
I think in terms of relations, okay?
It's my reality and all that has power.

Justice

What world are we living in?
And by 'we', I mean everyone.
Surely there is something that we can all point to,
Even if it's that we're all human.

I have been raised to believe violence is wrong,
Though there is violence everywhere that I look.
At least when I look at the news.
Violence so intense the world should have shook.

And here I sit, not unconcerned for my safety,
For I still lock my doors at night.
And often times I'll not confront an injustice,
Because I'd rather not confront a fight.

And it's alright,
I'm just saving myself for the right time.
I know injustice needs to be fought eventually.
Until then, I can imagine everything's just fine

Returning

I find it so cold now,
I wonder if I'm still in the world,
Or if I've found myself in the outskirts,
Where are the unemployed and unnurtured.

A quick twist of thought can sky rocket you all,
Into netherworlds that you once looked upon,
As someplace someone else goes who's weak in the mind,
But it's a possibility for every human.

True strength lies not in avoiding these pitfalls.
Such journeys help to expand your understanding,
As long as you can find your way back to the place,
Where nothing's necessarily as it need be.

And it's alright,
If you never return after all.
Unlike the unemployed and the unnurtured,
The government will- wait, they'll also let you fall.

Covetousness

Here they come again,
Those feelings of inadequacy,
Felt by, I'm sure, everyone in the world,
Unless they have lots of money.

Oh yes, it can buy happiness, I'm not joking,
The human condition is not such,
That even when you can get anything you want,
You still have to think that life sucks.

The need to create angst when there is no reason,
Granted, is a privilege reserved for us,
The poor are given it, the rich choose to take it,
And so the divide between the haves and have-nots.

And it's alright,
If I end up with lots of money,
I'm sure I'll bring chaos down upon myself.
My way of maintaining equality.

Losing Weight

They say that you should enjoy,
The sleep while it lasts.
I have to say, since I have nothing else,
The experience really kicks ass.

What better way to see where it is you are,
Than to step out of it and look in from without?
Just give me time to adjust to where I am,
And I will really know what it is all about.

And thank this Socialist bent that exists in Canada,
That allows me to take off all this time.
Socialism by itself may not be the answer,
But in relation to Capitalism, it's fine.

And it's alright,
My baby's going to stop crying at anytime.
That coupled with his extreme cuteness and I,
Have to say that that fatherhood is divine.

Two Days After

I don't know what to say now,
Is it all ending here?
What more do I have to direct outside,
When everything's inside that I hold dear?

Maybe when I learn how to make both the same,
And all my love can be in both places at once,
Not only will I return to where is right,
It will be with a new kind of assurance.

But I will keep on trying because I need,
To show the things I love that I can stick with,
Something, no matter what happens to me,
Because dedication is a great gift.

And it's alright,
If what I love doesn't even see this.
It's about what you do, not what others see,
When measuring the strength of something that exists.

It's a Boy!

I have a new baby,
Will I ever write again,
Or will I just pour out my heart through my fingers?
I'm in a state of constant elation.

Our eyes actually locked when he heard my voice,
And we stayed like that for quite a while,
Him learning from all of the things that I've seen,
Me, of course, seeing life through the eyes of a child.

When it all happened my tears would not stop coming,
Both out of joy and out of the change in plans,
From home birth to getting him out through surgery.
But, after seeing him, I don't give a damn.

And it's alright,
If I miss a couple more of these.
I'd miss a thousand if it meant not missing one,
Moment of all the new things that he sees.

Touching

It is so much harder,
When you decide to work harder,
At things that are harder,
Because they require more than what's just in your heart, sir.

They are things that require that you go,
Out into the world to collect info,
And make it fit with what you have in your heart,
While touching the hearts of other people.

And while you may be able to appreciate,
When it's been done by other people,
It does not mean you have the honesty,
To do the same without being moved by ego.

And it's alright,
A life is not ended at its birth,
One can start different lives at any moment,
Ie., I think I'm starting one now, for what it's worth.

How to Live Life

All is in a state of waiting,
Like life hasn't happened on either side,
Of the moment that will define the rest of it,
And, maybe, be the beginning of its demise.

Is it worth it letting life take you where it will,
Even if you're living actively?
That's one school of thought and it can be a scary one,
But no more scarier than if you know where you're heading.

And nothing's proven, only proven so far,
And then, only in retrospect,
Though, if it affords you a comfortable life,
Whether right or wrong, what the heck?

And it's alright,
Someone will get mad at me anyway,
Someone for living life like a lazy ass,
Or someone for not living honestly.

Derivation

I'm looking forward to the world,
I'll be entering anytime now,
Where life is not quite like it is anywhere.
I hope not to know what is up and what down.

I want to wash my brain and see how I do,
And I wonder what effect it will have on me.
Will it unlock things I've been searching for years,
And make me complete finally?

Sometimes I think there are things that could have happened,
If things had happened in the past differently.
And they probably would have, but life is so delicate,
One wrong turn and I'd end up in poverty.

And it's alright,
It's not like I'm not close to that right now.
I'm on the borderline, though I'm better than most,
Though, that does little to comfort me somehow.

Good Times are Back

Okay, I've gotten over the money,
And the excitement for life is back,
Now the Universe only need do magic,
And nothing more shall I lack.

Like in the old days when she gave me whatever,
I happened to think up in my mind,
And the only thing I did in return,
Was live my life to the fullest as my kind.

But I can wait for that, though I feel it might be happening,
Already in correspondence with my ways,
As they have become more sincere to how I,
Feel that everyone is really okay.

And it's alright,
Even if things don't turn out like in the past,
I'm necessarily a different person 'cause of time,
And, besides, always accepted it might not last.

Due Date

This is really it,
Put everything else on hold,
Though I'll still try to do other things in my life,
I won't be able to, I'm told.

The anxiety I felt very acutely,
I've managed to release enough to remember,
That I want to live as I naturally do,
With my eye constantly on nothing structured.

And remember that there is a magic to life,
Beyond the fact that there is life at all.
It seems we've got a grasp on most of its laws,
But those are only laws within our own walls.

And it's alright,
Go ahead and live as if the world's real.
I know it feels it, and it's a good idea to react.
I just still need to know it's not to genuinely feel.

Hope

How many times can a man go,
To the limit of his expertise,
Before he realizes that no one cares,
And goes back to his own pathetic worries?

Relax, it's just a way to lighten the mood,
For everyone who's gone the limit themselves,
And, for their troubles, got a kick in the pants,
While watching the pants of the kickers swell.

Anyway, the farse has not ended,
In case you might have thought that it actually ever did,
There's always someone waiting to trip you up and laugh when you fall,
And be even happier if it's in front of your kid.

And it's alright,
Though, in the world, this is the rule of thumb,
If it is of any consolation,
Even the richest in the world must succumb.

Yourself

What makes one man happy?
I tell you, it's all about being himself,
And being able to look back on his life,
And know that he was never anyone else.

And if he was, well then it's a simple matter,
Of knowing that he is who he is today.
And off course all those years of not being him,
Were all part of just figuring out the right way.

I was the first to say money can buy happiness,
And I wouldn't give it back if I won the lottery,
But if I had to play a role just to keep it,
I'd rather let this Capitalist system bury me.

And it's alright,
I think I lost my self for a little while,
But it just took a little reflection on what I've done,
To remember what has always made me smile.

Getting By

How shall I get rid of anxiety,
Let me count the ways,
Maybe I can destroy all the things that I love,
So I have no responsibilities.

Not to scare you, I'm really a nice guy,
But these feelings are something new to me,
I guess I had a large resevoir and tolerance,
'Cause, now, I'm really close to just bursting.

But, who knows, maybe when the rough seas are past,
I will find myself in a much better world,
Maybe society will still be unjust,
But into my own mind I might have curled.

And it's alright,
If everything is actually the same.
If my resevoir isn't emptied by tears,
I can try living in a world of just pain.

Countdown

I have a baby coming,
Like a freight train I can't stop.
In the begining it wasn't so real,
But now my body's acting up.

If this is how I am with something like this,
How will I be with something bigger?
Like the collapse of Capitalism,
Or- wait, there is nothing bigger, is there?

So once on the other side, and when there's nothing to do,
Except care for the life I love more than me,
When I can do that as well as live my own life,
There'll be nothing too big for my capability.

And it's alright,
If I'm faced with a challenge at work,
I've ensured the life of a helpless human being.
Any extra task should be considered a perk.

Forgotten

The body reacts to the way,
The mind reacts to things,
The uncontrollable acts, like rivers flowing,
Well, they keep things interesting.

The wretching I hear from the animals around me,
Come, not from illness, but from the life lived,
In total comfort, not because of hard work,
But because of what they've been given.

There is no safety net for me or mine,
One sudden act and all is thrown down a pit,
And forgotten instantly by the world,
Because it ultimately don't care about it.

And it's alright,
Though there is still much time with which to do things,
At least I think there is, and if there isn't,
May the rest of you- I don't know- think of something.

Misery

Things can look so very opposite,
When you look at them in an opposite way.
If Philo's right, then the world's mostly misery,
And you should feel lucky on happy days.

And is it not true that humans are most inclined,
To feel insecurity, no matter what they have,
And that the least pain's more acute than great pleasure?
It's almost difficult to choose which to want at hand.

Can a limit be reached in a personality,
Or is it the same for life?
Even when it seems that something has cracked,
I think they are the same deep inside their mind.

And it's alright,
I will be doing as much as I can,
To feel like I'm missing out on nothing at all,
While still remaining true to who I think I am.

Fuck

I can say fuck with the best of them.
The boundaries that present themselves,
Sporadically, as the fuckin' world spits,
Fondles its piece and adjusts itself.

I'll match my guilt against any of you fuckers,
The worst coming from what I haven't even done.
When your dreams and your upbringing collide,
No technology will heal your perversion.

Pit all against the chance that circumstances will allow,
Natural birth to exist anymore.
The next step has been taken, and Nature's been replaced,
Not by fucking, but by evening the score.

And it's alright,
I don't need to say fuck again,
No richness in language can replace the effect.
Of course, it doesn't really allow your mind to bend.

Blinded

Am I seeing more clearly?
Is that what I wanted to do?
Or did I want to outshine everyone else,
Regardless of what I knew?

The embarrassment at my slow uptake,
Still haunts me until it's replaced by another,
Moment of obliviousness, I don't want,
That to be how I naturally are.

And then there's you, the real centre of my world,
And the light that should be shining on,
Everything I do, but there's still enough of me,
To stand in the face of truth with a revolution.

And it's alright,
I finally get what I was doing wrong.
Sometimes you just have to hit the right buttons,
And your morality goes from weak to strong.

New Life

Much has opened up around me,
But now the question still remains:
Will I stand up and walk towards my dreams,
Or allow things to stay the same?

In the end it is really the same thing,
Anyway, because my life is still entangled in life,
And my life cannot be different from what it is,
Except in the circumstances with which it is rife.

But changes there will be, no doubt of that,
Because soon a child will come into the world,
And if it doesn't, well, that will change things, too.
New life is what can change mine, that's for sure.

And it's alright,
Like I said, the world has opened for me,
And I think this is in preparation for change.
You can't accept change unless you're ready.

Action

Can such a state of action,
Be maintained for a lifetime?
One sees it always amongst the fully-lived,
But what is happening inside?

Is it a predestined state that one just observes,
Or is Existentialism the guide?
As one meets up against decisions in life,
Where does the push come from to stand on a side?

And what of thought? With every action, all energy,
Directs itself to making it done,
And if a life is filled with nothing but acts,
One loses in thought, art, clearness and emotion.

And it's alright,
To try just action for a little while,
Knowing that when it's done you have your thoughts to deal with,
And your emotions with which to reconcile.

Success

Maybe because I'm unlucky,
In the picks I make,
It means I'm lucky in some other realm,
In which I only make mistakes.

Often when one tries for the thing that he wants,
He misses it because he tried too hard.
I know that sounds counter-intuitive,
But if you believe it, it is in the cards.

And are you afraid to believe in some things,
Happening just because for them to happen's your wish?
Is it better to live on sweet, sweet hope,
Than take responsibility for success?

And it's alright,
Whatever gets you through the day.
It's all about how good you feel about yourself,
And what you accomplish may not even be your guage.

Welcome

I know I'm a little late,
I know that you know, too,
And I know now what you know of me,
And must admit that this is something new.

It places me in another kind of state,
Where everything is twice removed,
And where when we meet I'm a little humbled,
Because I'm also a little nude.

But really isn't that better,
Than for me to live a lie?
I suppose so, if you remember,
That, like everybody, I'm made of many guys.

And it's alright,
If this is not what you were expecting,
Wait a little and see who I am then,
And you will be doing some introspecting.

Lady and Three Cats

Have I put myself onto,
A path of no return?
There are so many things that annoy me,
That I may just crash and burn.

And there are things on the horizon that promise,
To make me want to crush my bones in a vise,
And erase any idea of my existence,
So that there is no evidence of this life.

The thought of more of this begins to invade,
My body, so that it becomes more like a vat,
Of all the negativity that can exist.
I never wanted to have things end up like that.

And it's not alright,
At this particular juncture in time.
There's a whole world out there, and I'm stuck right here,
Held down by the ties that bind.

Confidence

I would never have thunk it,
The way it made such a difference,
As if the world had opened up its eyes,
Stretched its legs and discovered sense.

Life is varied in its possible structures,
And the ease of the flows testifies to that.
With just a tweak in consciousness all comes together.
The universe bows, well more like tips its hat.

And the joy, oh the joy in things happening,
Not out of force, but by the force of belief,
And acknowledgement of the forces around,
That serve to compose, erect, birth and conceive.

And it's alright,
I know you don't think that it can really last.
But does anything in the world anyway?
At least it could go until your body has passed.

Mercury

Is it all about what I think it is?
At any moment, I bet it is.
What else is there in anyone but what they see,
As what is their universe?

If it comes out like air through nothing at all,
And is made up of everything there is,
The sound omitted must be deafening,
With the truth that everything encompasses.

So let me talk to you like air through nothing,
And encompass you in its calming womb,
And lie beside you for an eternity,
And the universe will just have to make room.

And it's alright,
If we are only ever the two alive.
Our bodies may starve but we will understand it all,
And we'll never leave for we've always arrived.

Charity

Sometimes when I'm feeling selfish,
Because of what the world's telling me,
I can't but help think of all the things
I do that are considered charity.

Like when I do things for others just for doing
What I can, when no one else can do it.
I understand the capitalist need for proof,
But for that I don't get a charitable receipt.

And then the berations come for doing nothing,
But trying to keep myself alive.
If I have to kill one thing that does not even breathe,
Am I really that bad of a guy?

And it's alright,
What's important is what you know in your heart,
Even if in your heart you know you were meant for better things,
You find strength in at least doing your part.

Status Quo

One day you are healthy,
For the rest you are not sure,
And compared to everyone else you are poor,
That's the Capatalist system's allure.

But this is the same world that always existed,
And will exist far longer than the one we're in,
When we look back as a species on this one,
It won't be one any less primitive.

But what will my role be and do I have claim,
To being in anyway different?
And is that possible for anyone of us,
When we either do or don't have to pay rent?

And it's alright,
Only time will tell.
I predict that life can't go on in this way.
But to those in power, it's a pretty hard sell.

Cloudy

Sometimes you need less light,
To see a little more clearly.
Sometimes more needs to be hidden from you,
To know what to do, exactly.

How is it some words never leave your brain,
And they always come in the exact same way?
Like a song stuck in your head forever,
It's a mantra you retreat to each day.

If all is cleansed, then it's a race to the finish,
To see what kind of life can be obtained,
By taking a stand less than categorical,
And perhaps the hardest to be maintained.

And it's alright,
At least it keeps up with some exercise,
And that is remembering we can't say it all,
Because you can't see all from the sun in the sky.

Making It

The things that have been happening,
Outside of the things that don't,
Overcome the obstacle of latency,
That most things just won't.

And that leaves what, when what is what one must ask,
And what one cannot get an answer to,
But is what drives one past living for the moment?
You don't want to do that, now do you?

Forget it all, all that is needed is action.
What is strived for but a reflex of thought,
That eliminates the need for options? Because,
Options are what are obstacles to what can be taught.

And it's alright,
You may stumble your way through it all in the end,
And life might let you end up on the other side.
Though I'd much rather think my way round the bend.

Road to Happiness

All that life requires,
Is a little faith in it.
Imagine all your dreams are only what will happen,
Once you let them go and then forget.

And, of course, some humanity's required,
Though, it seems that for many it don't.
I know it's corny, but if you think the heartless will be happy,
Even if they are successful, they won't.

Nature teaches us this when any phenomenon happens,
That is destructive to what we know as the way,
Things should be, but it's only how they've been lately.
Nature's only what it is on any day.

And it's alright,
I guess if it's in your Nature to be an ass,
You have as much chance at happiness as anyone,
And I'll probably never see the kind of riches you'll amass.

Dreams

Time has gone so slowly.
Is that a weird thing to say?
My thoughts have spanned so many possibilities,
All my freedom's in my brain.

And is that wrong to retreat into yourself?
I mean, if you still take care of those that you love,
Or appear to, sometimes you find a person,
Who really cannot feel that stuff.

My soul has floated through portals to another,
Place where I am lost but where all,
Is back to the place where all is possible.
Am I prepared to really make that fall?

And it's alright,
It's the drink that causes these inequities,
And though it's certainly fun while it lasts,
My guilt always brings me back to reality.

Birth

I have been inside the womb,
I'm sure you can relate to that.
The spirits in there are not hidden from you,
And potential is the only fact.

One thought germinates in the flesh of your soul,
And only you know what it is, you may not.
You may manipulate it or let it be changed.
But it's the only thing of worth that you've got.

And you can go back, and many do,
Some uncontrollably, some to search for truth.
Some to wash themselves of the fears of the world,
And to return to the innocence of youth.

And it's alright,
In there you'll never feel insecurity.
You're all there is except for those waiting for you,
To get on stage and give hope to all society.

Time Will Come

What do I really have to say?
I guess only time will tell,
As it will tell so many things.
I just hope that it all turns well.

So many lives end up not like one imagined,
And that can be both in good ways and in bad,
And though one does all one can to make it one way,
It always ends up being some way unimagined.

I've let out so many hints like forest aromas,
But the Nature in my moves lacked,
Or the latency in their effectiveness,
Make me feel I may as well never act.

And it's alright,
That is pretty harsh, I know,
And presumptuous as well for that matter,
And pretty cynical.

Virtue in Right

There are people who can talk outwardly,
As if the world belonged to them.
That kind of person is usually not me,
For I prefer to just sit and listen.

But they belong to a class that makes its fortune,
By just believing that it's theirs by divine right.
I wish I had that power within me,
And if I do, I wish it would come to light.

With that power I could do so much good,
Though I don't know if it necessitates,
Spirits of evil working within me.
For such presumption, perhaps there must too be hate.

And it's alright,
I might be able to still play the game,
With obliviousness on my side,
I might just win the world all the same.

Not Yet

I would not say,
That it's all downhill from here.
To say that I would need some outside knowledge,
And would need to keep Mephistopheles near.

I only wonder without ever knowing,
And that is the anchor that I use,
While some people seem to know and not wonder.
But do either of us really not lose?

Is this the end of it all?
There were dreams I had that do not fit,
In anyway that I can see with my mind,
But, then, my mind can not see all of it.

And it's alright,
A different opinion is to follow,
The moment something unexpected happens,
And it might seem for a moment I may know.

Overexposure

What is this feeling I have?
As if a cloud encapsulates my head.
If everyone in the world felt this way,
Everyone in the world would be dead.

The head is the thing that the body transports,
To wherever the body desires,
And tries to make sense of the things it does.
Sometimes to do that it needs be a liar.

And then only to itself, so what's the point,
Of having the head, but to coordinate the act?
I guess the conflict between all the shoulds and the aughts,
Give meaning where otherwise there's just fact.

And it's alright,
I'm not giving my head up anytime soon.
I just hope it has an idea where to go,
Or that those around me can guide me from doom.

Through the Brush

It is coming close now,
As long as the anticipation stays minimal.
An unawareness of the speed of time,
Really helps things be simultanial.

The room is full with paisley visions of duty,
And the clutter of vague notions of my goals,
And there you are among the ruins of the dreams,
That as a prerequisite life always doles.

Not until I am whole will this body rest,
And may this body never rest in peace,
Unless that conjures up the spirits that haunt,
A life even after that life is deceased.

And it's alright,
Ultimately whatever happens will be.
But if magic happens so much to fantastic people,
Then when will it happen to me?

The Cup

If I take this cup to my lips,
I don't know what might happen,
But if I live to talk about it,
I may have to do it again.

It means that I risk it all, even the ones,
Around me who depend on stability.
The chances are slim, but the possible rewards,
Make my risking them a real possibility.

And what of their looks when I have both,
Risked what we have and produced nothing new?
Will they trust in my love as the motivator,
Or in my entirely selfish attitude?

And I'm alright,
When you really get to know me.
I may be distant, but I am a good resource,
Kind of like a library.

Busy

Busy, so very busy,
Busy, but not too busy for you,
If you give me twenty minutes right now,
I'll figure out how to give you two.

I do love you, I love you, do you know how much?
Let me take some time to figure it out.
I think of you and many things come to mind,
Too many right now, I'm afraid you may doubt.

Forget it all, just let it out of your mind,
Because I think I'm thinking of something else,
Already, and I'm so loosely in touch with my feelings,
I'm afraid that I can't really trust myself.

And it's alright,
Someday it may be clear to all but me.
I'm doing things now to heal the world,
But it will hurt those I love ultimately.

Any Day Now

Could it be that I have found it?
The key to my deepest dreams.
Only time will tell, as with everything.
I must sit and wait, it seems.

It seems almost clear, but there's more work to be done,
As in, I must do some work, at least.
It's not much different than it's been in the past,
I just have to make sure this is not a tease.

It is within you, you just have to let go,
For a moment, of all the things that you are.
Just that glimpse will give you a thirst for the truth,
And a desire to reach for the stars.

But it's alright,
It's cool to just be satisfied with thirst.
There is doing, and then there's what's to be done,
And it's hard knowing which is right to do first.

One Year

It's a very special day,
Something called my anniversary,
It's been a good year with lots of good times,
And adversity.

I have two lives, but only stay on one side,
And admire the grass on the other.
Right now it's such a joy just admiring it,
That it has no other lure.

And I could never find the exact place I was in,
If I went over and tried to get back.
The first time you try something, something's never quite right.
Of course, life is always just like that.

And it's alright,
Life is very, very long.
You're never expected to do everything right,
Or to avoid everything that is wrong.

In Haste

Here we go again,
And I've hardly been awake.
Too many responsibilities slowly walking towards me.
I want to escape.

I want to look at it all from the outside like I used to,
Without anything really depending on me.
Will this serve to deepen or stunt my growth,
While others grow necessarily?

I need a cleansing in the world around me,
Or I need to find another one.
And wander for the ages that take a moment.
I need some good old time travelation.

And it's alright,
I haven't lost my mind entirely,
I still have enough to explain myself,
Even if I'm talking to nobody.

Stunted Growth

That little man inside me,
Was not created by me,
But I certainly stunted his growth,
Out of anxiety.

And is it too late to give him his freedom?
Is he too small to let run amok?
Of course, if I'd let him be nurtured from the start,
He'd be a giant and I'd be a stud.

It was fear that kept him hidden from me,
And that fear sprung from nothing else but how I,
Was brought up, and I don't want that for my kids.
But I don't want to tread waters that aren't mine.

I guess it's alright,
Nature/Nurture, who the hell am I to say?
I like myself, and myself includes stunted growth.
I might not have liked a full grown stud anyway.

Change

I missed another one.
What does that say about me,
When all one has is his word and a loose sense,
Of his own identity?

One lives life like a lake, and forever remains,
Where one can find her, though she is not the same,
And one day she may flow out of herself,
And undermine the purpose of a name.

And why not, love is forever but we are not,
But can experience death through change,
And reincarnate till the cows come home.
We just sacrifice any meaningful exchange.

And its alright,
Wandering can be good, though mostly it's bad.
First of all how can anyone find you?
And how can you ever hope to understand?

Stress

Stress almost overtook me,
Like spirits outside my body.
I did not fight it, but it would not leave.
I had to live around that monstrosity.

The combinations of the things in my life,
Converged in one area to thwart all else.
A waterfall of tears was coaxing my own,
And challenging my own sense of self.

My words were controlled, but my body was not,
And I think I poisoned all parts of it.
Thinking about it reveals etched memory,
Forever a memory of regret.

And it's alright,
This will all be behind me one day,
And from now on I'll follow my instincts,
And avoid an act that makes me feel this way.

Cheating

Is this true regret,
That fills my throat with lumps,
And makes my heart feel like it might just stop?
Now, will my day truly not come?

Or is it like the thought I had about thought,
And the thought that it creates what you think?
If all my life is to be taken up by this,
It better provide me what I want without working.

And what the world defines as what I have now,
I don't have to take as the way things are.
Even now these symptoms of being constrained,
Are not good for me so far.

And it's alright,
Lots of things happen everyday.
Some make things worse and some make things better.
As long as I'm satisfied by the end of day.

Gotta Go

I guess I really get it,
And that's what really hurts,
Because the language that exists over here,
Is really of no use to anyone that matters.

Unless you're thinking self-destructively,
And want to lose yourself, I'm you're man.
Your love is so great for the one that you love,
You want to create a revolution.

Sometimes I need to go so quickly I can't,
Quite tell you what it is I came here to.
So good-bye, because if I get caught now,
I'll never be able to really return.

And it's alright,
The nervousness may never leave me,
And maybe that is part of the attraction,
To the way I live obscuriously.

Good bye Laptop

I can live without you,
Now that you are dead.
You were indispensable while alive,
But, I can live without you, as I said.

There's much inside you that I can still retrieve,
Though much of my life would be taken by that.
Maybe it's best to just let all of it go,
And rebuild my life, just like a cat.

Too much is made of the value of information,
Just like of the value of money.
If they were so fluid I could make them part of me,
It would be my person that had importancy.

And it's alright,
It's better to strip oneself of the world, no?
We all need reminding that life is much more,
Than the things we make to help make life go.

The Little Ones

Maybe it will all change now,
Like it never did in the past.
The world will open up and I will see,
How the old order could not last.

The inequities will remain the same,
But they will exist less for me.
The people I see starving on the street,
Will still live in the same society.

But in my new role I can work for change,
Once I am settled enough and have power,
Which may take a while and of course I'll need some time,
To enjoy my luxurious life's lure.

And it's alright,
I won't forget that I'm a revolutionary,
But I can't just turn my back on right away,
The life that eventually made me free.

Faust

I have been close to the spirit,
And the spirit did not stay long,
But if it deigns again to visit me,
It will not resist my song.

I will snatch it out of the air,
With a mind that is focused and strong,
Manipulate it into thousands of forms,
For only to me will it now belong.

And we will tease all of the spirits in others,
Once we are truly one,
And make them dance to our little tune,
Until we can start a revolution.

And it's alright,
I won't be the first one, you know,
Though I may be the first to use it for fun,
Instead of trying to make all evilness go.

Selfishness

I'm so very sorry,
I wasted time out of our lives,
Erasing my brain and making yours feel bad,
For an unrewarding vice.

I won't tell you, but I will do much better,
Of course I say that now, but what will be the case?
Like so many before me, the habit will stick,
Because the alternative I can't face.

I'm close to tears for the lack of heart I have,
And with so much happening inside of you.
I need to be there for the rest of your life,
And I'm not sure if I really want to.

And it's alright,
I'll do the right thing in the end,
Even if it means doing the wrong things for me.
Why can't life be as easy a religion?

The Pearl

I can't believe how sad it,
Is just looking at that life.
If I could have it back, I would in a minute,
And be supported by my wife.

The determination not to let things go,
But not knowing the things that you need,
Is the greatest pitfall in a free life-
Destroying all hopes before they're put to seed.

And letting it go's the best way but the hardest,
Though people deny it out of jealousy,
And move you to deny even your instincts,
Because no one wants another succeeding.

And it's alright,
That's why you need to plan a surprise attack,
And only that by not knowing what you're doing,
But knowing exactly how to react.

Miserliness

What is it that makes someone protective?
And I mean of treasure or of junk.
I don't think it's covetousness in the first,
Or embarrassment in the second.

Perhaps the possession of something no one has,
Helps to solidify the person you are.
Though I would think the ultimate high would be,
To recognize that we are all similar.

And strength in numbers, I guess, is only important,
When it is strength that you are really after.
And you might think that it really is,
But what can loneliness really offer?

And it's alright,
Though I am being denied some things by you,
There are a slew of things that I am also getting,
By giving everything I have to you.

Passes You By

That is the end of me.
The bright lights cast a shadow,
Of the man I will eventually be,
And he is no one I would know.

There comes a moment in one's life that decides,
If all dreams will be held on to or not,
Because eventually all of your chances,
Pass you by or may never run out.

But if nothing changes, you probably haven't either,
And it's that changing that allows for the room,
That the universe gives you as a creative being.
Otherwise you will just peak too soon.

And it's alright,
I haven't given up entirely.
It might be that I just need to walk through fields,
To get to the trail that I need.

Wood Grain

Oh, if you were as malleable,
As fuel dropped in a lake,
Or as one's hair with a brush,
My forever mistress I would make.

You are different with every tree you come from,
Sometimes smooth and straight, sometimes bold.
And all I can do is select the most perfect one,
But which that is, is based on what is my goal.

I bring out your rich lines like ink on a page,
I don't control the shapes, only the depth.
I don't know what I'll find until I cut,
Your beauty kept hidden until your death.

And it's alright,
It's not like it is even a crime,
To have your corpse adorn every room.
Your depth radiates an aura sublime.

The Flower

What am I going to say,
When everything comes out?
I'm like a flower that can't hide anything,
Because people seek me out.

For what do flowers do but attract with their beauty,
All the animals that use them?
They want a rest but they must always give.
That's the price they pay for the adoration.

And those are tears you find on them in the morning,
For the new day, they know, won't find an end,
To the sun, everyone must look,
Until the next day brings it all once again.

And it's alright,
One day all its hard work will be fruitful,
For every dog has its day and every flower,
Will eventually be pulled.

Time

I have let my guard down,
Now I'm running for my life.
This feeling won't go away until,
I feel I am out of the strife.

It won't get better when I walk out that door,
Because by then it will be too late.
I let myself forget the important things,
And have not disregarded dates.

That is the world, I can't change how one,
Must be in communication with the clock.
It's not a matter of Nature guiding your acts,
But who owns some given time at your dock.

And it's alright,
Ultimately it doesn't matter to me,
But the results may be the ruin of my life.
I guess I will just sit here and see.

Life's Lessons

Just when I think I got it,
The universe makes something happen,
That reminds me I am not the master.
I'm at my best when I'm unassuming.

The first part of your life is to show you through error,
How certain actions create results for you,
And those relations never change, though life does.
It's a hard, but invaluable, lesson, too.

But does that mean you don't stray from the acts,
That you know give you what you want,
And be happy with the things that make you happy,
Or test them to prove you're independant?

And is it alright,
To test the limits of your abilities?
If so, what is the point of that first part of life,
But to show you where to find your revolutionary?

The Human Body

How can you say I can't change,
When my very body's a proof of that?
With every slight adjustment of how I sit,
I've reached a position that I've never been at.

The air rushes into my lungs and changes me forever,
From the body that took the air from the past.
Small things, I know not, attach and detach themselves from me.
A stomping ground always shows the prints of its last.

Like a waterfall, the elements wash over me,
To make the skin that clings to my skeleton,
My hair, my fat, the things that literally fall off,
You know, I'm not even the same person.

And it's alright,
If you think that you still know me,
You may as well assume everyone's the same.
From their head all the way to how they think.

Waterfall

You are forever changing,
And are never really the same.
Even now you tirelessly reform,
Your sound's constant, but from a different place.

The eyes witness a beauty built on the impermanence,
Of any shape you take at any moment.
I suffuse myself with you and I am reborn,
Just as you have, I've given up all pretence.

I hear your voice in everything around,
Because, like them, your message explains art.
Your consistency belies your ultimate death,
Because you eat yourself until you're at your own start.

And it's alright,
If I can't quite make myself into you,
Your greatest part is forever changing its skin,
The greatest lesson one could hope to get through.

What I Love

So what is it I've learned,
After all these days of rest?
That maybe this is the life for me,
If only society demanded less!

I'd pour my heart out for my deepest desires,
That for others would be a toil of hate.
I guess that work is not denied me,
But it's not handed on a silver plate.

With tastes so varied, I wonder how it won't work,
That life can't be maintained both in flesh and spirit.
Maybe it's greed, but I'm sure that's in the minority,
And this is a Democracy, ain't it?

But it's alright,
I can't put all the blame at others' feet.
There are more than eight hours in a day,
And I've only used them to beat a retreat.

Conviction

I have gone a little deeper,
Than perhaps I've ever gone before.
I've faced the thing that's me and I'm still okay,
Though there are things I do not adore.

Conviction's based on instinct and I have the honor,
Of having mine be based on the absurd,
Which is fine because it allows the benefit of the doubt,
But there is just one final word...

To enter a world where things are one way,
Was something that I only did at work,
Which is what makes me such a good worker,
But that leaves my real life lingering in the dark.

And it's alright,
I'm going to try to work on my convictions.
Not too much though, because I like how I live,
And would hate to lose my innocence.

Cottage Time

I must try to remember,
That remembering’s not the key.
What getting it right is really all about,
Is just forgetting me.

There’s always time, and you don’t want it to happen,
Before you’ve had enough time not to know,
What it’s like not really getting it,
Because that’s what makes it a really good show.

The other part is keeping at it forever,
And not losing yourself back at the place,
You were before because you don’t want to give up,
The irresponsibility that makes you safe.

And it’s alright,
If you want to stay there, I guess.
It can sometimes be more comfortable wanting,
Than actually getting comfortableness.

I’m not saying I’m sad,
Like the truly desolate.
But, with all of the options one has in this world,
I haven’t monopolized on them.

A life unknown is nothing, that is my statement.
And by unknown I mean by the multitudes.
Every movie shows that everyone touches someone,
But volume means meaning I assume.

This wish for fame is not uncommon, I know,
It’s probably more universal than money.
There must be something good in you, though,
To be lauded by your fellow human beings.

And it’s alright,
I guess there’s lots of time left in my life,
To continue having these thoughts of fame.
I’m sure with them my waking hours will be rife.

I must get my act together,
And rearrange my life,
To recognize that there are more hours in the day,
Than I’ve taken advantage of.

And what is it that I have to offer,
I’ll tell you that it’s potentially a lot,
If I can maybe keep my head focused,
And, er, something else I remember not.

Is there something sacrificed in the attention,
That must be given to something that is long?
Only if you abandon the original thought,
That was short but sweet, just like a song.

And it’s alright,
Not if I never actually get it done,
I proclaim right now if I never do it,
I’ve failed in what was my entire reason.

I'm at a loss for words,
Though my last line belies that,
And the one just after,
Is actually a proof of that fact.

I'm surrounded by noise of unnatural kinds,
And probably being effected by waves,
Of all kinds, the things one does for relaxation.
The thing that's killing you've been thinking will save.

Regardless of it all the people I've met,
Will have to reimerge from the self imposed hiding.
I know they've had things to do and have worked hard,
But it's time they've invited me to where they're residing.

And it's alright,
I don't mean to take over their place,
But they need some atmosphere, and I am it,
If they are looking for a fulfilling pace.

Her

She does not need escape,
Or a way to understand his ways,
Or anything else that he might give her,
Or anything that he might say.

She flies above the circles,
That serve to make up the world,
In which she is seen but in which she does not exist,
In any way that might have worth.

Don't try to think that you know who she is,
Or she will deny it right away,
Until you show her things from the other world,
Things that you can only say.

And it's alright,
I will take any part of her that I can,
And if that means that none of it's actually real,
I'll have her take me to that other land.

Relations

Relations are not necessary,
If you can make it on your own,
Without reliance on a single thing,
That you have not somehow grown.

If not, then research shows the necessity of love,
As the primer to the pumping heart.
To maintain any one relation's easier,
Than keeping your determination hard.

If genious does not exist if not acknowledged,
That's only because it can't exist alone,
Just like any quality esteemed or despised.
For anything to exist, it must be known.

And it's alright,
Though tears are being planted by my heart,
The relations creating this sad moment,
May also be the cause of a favoured start.

Humility

Maybe it is better,
That I am under a better of me,
Or maybe I should just go out on my own,
And discover my own superiority.

The embarrassement that infests my whole being,
May counteract any advantage I had,
Unless I go back to my shameless self,
To the days when luck was my better half.

This may be my opportunity to revert,
To a more knowledgable version of my youth.
How often have I said in my mature life,
"I wish what I know now, when I was younger, I knew"?

And it's alright,
I'll get my due eventually.
I've got it in my way along the way.
I guess I can't fight what it's been to be me.

Handy

I would not say that I have,
The type of hands I need,
To grasp the things that I truly want.
Or has my potential just not been freed?

You take a seed and plant it into the soil,
And you wonder of the miracle of life.
To be an observer of human behaviour,
Your hands must be strong and light.

But mine now are not feeling much more than tired,
And frustrated at not being able to make,
The life they want despite a sincere effort.
They were born into the world, maybe, too late.

And it's alright,
The world changes all of the time.
That's what they mean when someone get's their break.
All one needs is to recognize the signs.

No Turning Back

I won't say I'm unhappy,
About the anxiety I feel.
I guess it's impossible to really judge,
The opinions of other people.

It's in my nature to get depressed for no reason,
Though reasons are never in short supply,
Just like the oil in the ground causing so much heartache,
It's at a dear cost to buy.

And I don't wish for things to be any different,
It's just scary sometimes how far I've gone,
Down one particular path, passing all others,
But that's better than going down none.

And it's alright,
I won't say that the grass is always greener,
But it does always seem that you'd know everything,
In a situation other than the one in which you are.

Standing Tall

This is not the end yet,
Your voice can still be heard.
No one has the right to try to silence you,
Even if she's your employer.

Don't you get speechless, or in case you do,
Make sure to keep your mouth shut.
Saying 'yes' is not a way to escape.
It's just a way to shoot yourself in the foot.

Remember that just because someone has an idea,
It doesn't mean that idea is right.
Show me the person who can tell the difference,
And I'll show you someone who's not nice.

And it's alright,
You just have to stick to your guns,
Close your eyes and just pull that trigger,
Sometimes it is the only solution.

Hire Me

Why do you want to hire me?
Let me count the ways.
If I was a car I would be fully loaded.
Oops, not as in I like to drink Tanqueray.

The qualities I have are not tangible,
Or are represented in any type of degree.
My word is all that I truly have,
And I swear I'll be a great employee.

Give me a second and I'll get on my knees,
Nothing in this life makes me feel as I do,
About dedicating the greater part of my hours,
To this company and most importantly to you.

And it's alright,
If you decide that I'm not right for the work,
It reflects more on me more than it does on you.
But, thank you for this chance to argue for my worth.

Negotiations

There is surely something I have,
That is worth more to you,
Than anything that I have, but what will it take,
To get you to admit it, too?

This habit of low-balling, where is its root?
Why don't we just give up what we should?
This money invention has us valuing air,
And stifling potential that's universally good.

Imagine all the work we put into things,
Continuing, except we did them just to help each other.
Our souls would be so much more at peace,
And so much less would be done that hurts the world.

And it's alright,
Capitalism was a pretty good shot,
But, guys, let's give it up and try using gratitude instead.
True selflessness was never something to be bought.

Line of Flight

I'm ready to go full pressure,
Even if it means I undermine,
All the things my life has been based on so far,
And all the things that made it mine.

There are stages and on them we all play a part,
And sometimes breaking them's the thing to do,
So people stand up and take notice of,
The fact that you are just playing you.

And if it all falls apart it's due not to any,
Lack in the structure you were raised in,
But in the result of the battle you fought,
For your ultimate liberation.

And it's alright,
I know you just end up back where you started.
You can't fight constantly, you will need a rest,
And that's why home is where the heart is.

Ode to a Webcam

Have I gone too far in,
Thinking that you don't see me?
Your eye is fixed and blink you never do.
You're enough to make me go crazy.

You see everything in me that not even I can,
Things that it's impossible for others to see,
Things that have no effect on the world I know,
But that tell you a lot about me.

But what about self-reflection, don't you know,
That to know me, you have to know yourself?
I may be the one fucking up my life,
But, at least, I'm not just sitting on a shelf.

And it's alright,
To each his own, I guess.
You sit and wait for someone to use you,
And I use you when I need connectedness.

Living Obliviously

Oh thank you Universe,
Though, I don't mean to jinx it.
You've always taken care of me in magical ways.
I guess that's what life's about, isn't it?

Everyone's life is different, not all happy,
And I guess you give their's to them also.
But what is it that makes others truly happy?
It may be misfortune, for all I know.

I've thought of things and suddenly there they are,
And I'm not talking about a million bucks.
Those things I've needed or just happily desired.
More than with hard work, it's great getting things with luck.

And it's alright,
If you take it all away tomorrow.
I know that's always been part of the deal.
Though, I happily desire you don't go;)

Split Fate Revisited

Why should I be jealous?
Well, I'll let you know.
Sometimes the different life you were supposed to live,
Is not welcome as a reality show.

Life is long and many things can happen to you,
That you could never anticipate.
That gets me through the moments of indecision.
And besides, I am happy anyway.

I'm not quite fit for what I should do anyway.
Awkwardness would only dominate my life.
Of course, I might have come into my own myself,
It hasn't been that bad coming with my wife.

And it's alright,
I'm not really complaining, am I?
I guess I am, and it's actually bugging me.
Why in the world should I lie?

Strength in Surrender

Does strength really lie,
In letting things happen?
I guess the only way to figure that out,
Is through experimentation.

The figure that pulls it through must be a control,
And also of the inclination,
To want to understand every movement,
That Nature allows through its wisdom.

Maybe it's the meek that shall inherit the earth,
Because they make themselves one with the Universe.
I'm sure that It doesn't think much, itself.
And I wouldn't say that it had no nerve.

And it's alright,
If you want to call me a kiss-ass.
I know my intentions better than anyone,
And if you knew them, you wouldn't say that.

Pull Back the Elastic

I know that you're wondering,
"What more could be said?"
Twenty years, seven months and twenty-seven days,
I may as well be dead.

But be born again because the mind needs to shift,
And we aren't much more than we think.
Unless you take into account our bodies.
They do provide us with a brink.

I used to like it all, and then I got bitter,
And now I just berate with ink.
Soon I hope that I can lead a revolution,
After I perfect my ability to tink.

And it's alright,
If you don't know what I mean quite yet.
Soon everything will fall and the time will be right,
For us to invent a new way to repent.