Transition Part 1

My advisor told me,
Well, advisor's a stretch,
Someone I met with to give me advice,
Provides a truer sketch,

That in this period of transition,
For that's my current bent,
Jobless, but not yet upset about it,
Like I'll be when I can't pay my rent,

I should journal; that's it, that's all she said,
That I'm willing to share,
So here I begin, not quite able to stall,
With one stanza to spare,

When they said go,
It was a short, sharp, shock,
Served at the right time, though it's still painful,
No, if I am to be honest, it's not.

Nine Days After

Why did I not come here,
The moment it happened,
While the shock was still fresh in heart and mind,
Aft' my world upended,

When all that what one defines oneself with,
Was just taken away,
Could no more answer when asked what I do,
Which tasks for others I fill up my days,

With a shake of my head seeking pity,
For the system we slave,
Free yet restricted, like monkeys in zoos,
Our path marked out and paved?

This was once first,
In truth, it still might be,
At least for expressing, in truth, my thoughts,
Sometimes they need time for maturity.

No Regrets

I have a few regrets,
Things I wish I had done,
Not knowing if I would be better off,
Or steeped in depression,

If I was even still living at all,
The point is you don't know,
All there is is what you think might have been,
In some world to which you can never go,

Or you can take the opportunity,
To learn from your mistakes,
Until you understand there's no such think,
Alternate paths are fake,

This is what's real,
Where you occupy space,
Wasting your time reading this piece of shit,
I wish I'd not started in the first place.

New Year?

Here's what to get from life:
Surprise at what comes next,
Stumbling into an unplanned adventure,
An old friend sends a text,

You get a job-offer out of the blue,
Didn't even apply,
Someone with money wants to give you some,
Yeah, I get it, you are just not that guy,

You've had enough advantages to win,
You took chances enough,
You have faith in your own ability,
You don't turn people off.

So, what is it,
That you can't get ahead,
The system, chance, an all powerful god,
Or are you just too much in your own head?