Transition Part Twenty-Late

The only incentive,
For not missing a day,
Of writing my thoughts since I was laid off,
Is what I have to say.

There's no employer replacing parents,
Who love you with money,
All your worth based on what you do for them,
Within a small field of activities.

Whoa, did it take twenty-eight days to get here?
I can't say I like it,
One hopes for less incestuous break-throughs,
Unless it's all a bit.

Guess what, it is!
At least, I do believe,
Though thinking about going back to work,
Makes me feel like I have to eat my peas.

Transition Part 2-4

First I shaved my moustache,
That I had for ten years,
Then I was let go from my fulltime job,
Both had their unique fears:

Would my face look weird to other people?
Was I not good enough?
Will I feel less confident without it?
Will leaving it alone make it more rough?

I'm like a newborn with no family,
Bare as a baby's butt,
Do I venture forth like a warrior,
Or curl up in this rut?

I'm all alone,
In thought, not real'ty,
If you don't think there is a difference,
You have a better perspective than me.

Transition Part 23

Who came up with weekends?
Oh, it was god, wasn't it?
Is there value in us all following,
A time loving despot?

How about we all just do what we love,
In the time that we choose?
Any country, any class, any way,
Without letting any one person lose,

Supporting each other and pitching in,
When something needs be done?
We've tried varied systems and survived 

O'er two millenium.

Or so says god,
Could be far fewer years,
Far's I know, the world only existed,
For's long as I've been able to see her.

Transition Part 22

The way that I'm feeling,
I wish to feel fore'er,
I never knew what work did to my mind,
Am I sounding unfair?

Are eyes rolling because I've it so hard?
Canadian white guy,
Healthcare, safety, democracy, syrup,
Well, so you know, I'm barely getting by,

But I've faith in myself despite these things,
Which I don't think is bad,
Though for most of my life I did believe,
All I'd have's what I had,

Because of guilt,
For having anything,
But that's confusion twixt system and life,
One will not change if one is not willing.

Transition Part Forever 21

They say kids speed up time,
For the ones who raise them,
Before you know it they're out of the house,
'less born this millen-yum.

I'm suspect of anyone's reporting,
With nothing to compare,
I'm sorry, you know how time passes by,
For those with no cubs growing in their lair?

I have kids, I know how time feels for me,
Felt, too, when I had none,
All of my past feels equally distant,
To all other humans.

No, still no job,
But been busy as hell,
This week flew right on by way too quickly,
That is the way it is when you hustle.

Transition Part Venti

I just had a coffee,
Along with some ice cream,
While playing Scrabble the third night running,
With the girl of my dreams,

I still felt like I was working today,
Busier than ever,
More sturdy, more engaged, interested,
Then ev'ry so often, I'd visit her.

That is the life I've e'er wanted to have,
E'er blaming soci'ty,
That only a few enjoy the priv'lege,
So, why should it be me?

I'll tell you why,
There is no reasoning-
Well, there is, there are, too many to count,
So many they almost don't mean a thing.

Transition Part 19

I've been exercising,
Meditating as well,
Those things one wishes one did when employed,
But knows they never will,

Unless they regiment the way they live,
Which many people do,
Early to rise before straddling the desk,
I don't know, I've only e'er met a few,

Which means that I might just run the wrong circles,
Hang out with the wrong crowd,
The ones without the kind of discipline,
That don't get the shout-outs,

They get laid off,
Hey, like me, I suppose,
Is this the phase where I become depressed?
You can't have the highs without any lows.

Transition Part 18

Do I have time for this?
If not for this, then what?
A meditation on where you are now,
Keeps you out of a rut,

It reminds you that most of what you do,
Is e'er mediated,
By some relation outside of yourself,
That is not natural, but created.

Not even god lets you be who you are,
Maybe this computer,
Fed by fingers interpreting my brain,
Allows me to view her,

Yes, she's her,
It doesn't e'en matter,
Look at yourself and say you don't have time,
To put the former before the latter.

Transition Part 17

'oft you need to relax,
A walk to a cafe,
With your best girl walking slightly behind,
'course, you know what they say,

When it's snowed a lot the sidewalk is not,
ADA compliant,
Sometimes she's in front, there is no preference,
No matter where she is, she's heaven-sent,

Then on the uneven snow, two more miles,
Off to the AGO,
Three exhibits, then moules and a cocktail,
Streetside at the bistro,

Then the walk back,
Through the blistering wind,
The day's not quite half done, but I may be,
The most relaxed flaneur that's ever been.

Transition Part 16

I almost missed this one,
But the task was not missed,
For after the coffee and the movie,
There was productiveness,

Which, yes, I know is not really the point,
It's about reflection,
On where I am and where I want to be,
Without any work akin distractions,

Yet it feels quite good to get something done,
Which has to say something,
About where I am, where I want to be,
Unless I'm just hiding,

For fear of truth,
There is too much at stake,
What if what's real makes me stumble and fall,
Finding out that I don't have what it takes?

Transition of Ides

How am I to succeed,
When I can't e'en keep up,
With the goal of journalling ev'ryday?
My life's 'bout to erupt!

There are not enough hours in twenty-four,
To do all that I must,
Without wasting time with love and self-care,
Letting all my potential gather dust,

This world was not built for the non-fulltimes,
'cept for the one percents,
Yeah, yeah, they work harder than anyone,
At social engagements.

What was my point?
Oh yeah, I've no new news,
Just some irons in fire that mean nothing,
Until I can put them to some good use.

Transition Part 12ish

Does not writing one day,
Mean that something was missed,
That will never return back to my mind
No matter how I wish,

So that what I do from now on falls short,
Of all that I should be,
My trajectory forever derailed,
Despite how I expend my energy,

Despite all the ways my life could have gone,
All because of that day,
I let go by, without writing a Wath?
Now, all I've got to say,

Is that the deal?!
Or was that the right move,
Avoiding depressing thoughts that would kill,
All chances obstacles will be removed?

Transition Part 10

As I think on options,
There are two routes I see,
The age-old path of steady employment,
Under a company,

Which feels like the easiest road to take,
Not that jobs are profuse,
Compared to pursuing my own business,
You can see how employment is of use,

No risk that you will run out of contracts,
No hustling for the next,
Benefits and vacation provided,
No putting out of necks,

Though, no movement,
No doing what you want,
Accepting that this world is not for you,
At least, it doesn't want what you have got.

Transition Partly 9

How can I have skipped two?!
Daily journal my ass,
My time's not infinite and here I am,
Trudging through a morass,

Flailing my arms so I don't fall over,
Stuck neck deep in the mud,
Thinking of all I could have been and done,
If I'd nipped my hesitance in the bud,

The fear of failure, the fear of success,
Fear of finding my place,
Deciding to look in from the outside,
With yearning on my face.

Is it too late?
If I was born today,
Would I start doing things differently,
Or do them in the exactly same way?

Transition Part 6

It's hard to know the speed,
To hit the ground running,
Sometimes I fear that I might miss something,
Being too far-looking,

There's something to be said for going slow,
Methodical and clear,
Building a foundation before the house,
Gives you someplace to go in times of fear,

Which is an emotion you should embrace,
For it will show the way,
No substantial change in life comes without,
A reck'ning of the day.

What do I know?
What have I accomplished?
Well, I have spent years setting the cement,
It won't take much ere the house is finished

Transition Parting 5

It is now official,
The papers have been signed
With guarantees at risk of law suits that,
Neither party maligns,

Whoops, have i just said something liable?!
These are things I must learn,
If I am to continue in this world,
Though I think I'm tired of waiting my turn,

At a chance at something I don't want,
But was taught that I do,
It's amazing how it's how you were raised,
Defines for you what's true,

'Til you decide
To go out on your own,
Have belief in your capabilities,
To do what you like even if alone.

Transition Party 4

I still need to catch up,
The story of my life,
Sometimes I think I do it to myself,
For a balance of stride,

For what do I have to complain about,
More than somebody else,
That places me at a disadvantage,
Other than what I can create myself?

Though maybe now I should get serious,
The uphill climb's been groomed
I'm old and poor and am responsible,
For lives outside this room.

So I will climb,
I can't say that I've trained,
But I know what it is I'd like to do,
If I can endure and live with the pain

Transition Part 3

I am one day behind,
Do I do two, today?
Is the time spent worth the value I get,
From the things that I say?

Because the point of these was to reflect,
On what I want to do,
Now that I no longer have full time work,
To support doing the things I want to,

Like writing my thoughts down for ev'ryone;
Helping folks organize;
Collaborating on creative builds;
Interviewing cool guys.

Well, there you go,
Self-reflection enough?
I will try to squeeze one more in today,
Once I've reviewed all this previous stuff.

Transition Part 2

What are those five stages?
You know, when you're in grief,
Not that I can say that I have been sad,
If anything, relief.

You probably think this is denial,
Just wait a few more days,
Once the shock has worn off and you realize,
You still need to get paid,

To afford what soci'ty demands you buy,
According to income,
So, demands change; so too, does your lifestyle,
Who needs revolution?

Just know the game,
And the role that you play,
Know that you'll always have just what you need,
How could anybody not be okay?